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Posts: 97

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Q: Cultural expectation of a foreign boyfriend?

My Chinese boyfriend naturally expects to carry my bag for me down the street - he told me it was the norm in China...what's wrong with men here? What negative spiral in the country's evolutionary cycle has led to such degradation?

Guys, do your Chinese girlfriends ask you to carry their bags around??

12 years 35 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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that is love and concern for women . Because the women physical strength is not good as men , she always feel tired . As a men , if you want you can hep her . But not must . Smile

BaoanGuy:

My gfs always wanted to carry my bags. She wanted to help so much I'd have to always remind her that I'm the man. She was awesome.

12 years 18 weeks ago
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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 362

Shifu

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I totally know what you mean, alva! China is very different countary to 'Merica, and it was the same with my Chinese girlfriend in the beginning! I'll give you my trick to avoid that, because of course we all know it's not your job to carry her bag.

Buy her wine, treat her to fancy restaurants. If you're low on budget, just buy her wine. She'll love you for that, trust me! "A bottle of wine a day keeps the arguing away", from what i learned in this countary.

Why wine? Because Chinese women usually like to be sophisticated. If you buy her beer, it's lower on alcohol so she might keep annoying you. And it's too cheap. And she might turn into a mythical Irish Land Whale. You don't want that.

Wine is your best bet. I go for red wine, because my Chinese girlfriend like red wine most!

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12 years 35 weeks ago

Getting halp from moar and moar people is like spin-o-rama high-fiving new friends on answers.echinacities.com with a tip of the hat finishing move.

 
Posts: 243

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In my experience there are other things more preciated for chinese girls than taking their bags.
Details, details & details make the difference, and also unexpected details haha

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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
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Some purses are more like small suitcases. Yes they can be too heavy for the frail Chinese woman. A real man has no problem with her request for a little love and assistance.

On the other hand, I always tell my Chinese wife to never go out with a purse that she is not prepared to carry for herself. I am neither pack mule nor camel. Her purses have gotten smaller. Smile

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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 36

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Why not just carry her bag? I carry my girlfriends bag, because I love her, and want to make her happy. If carrying her bag makes her happy why not do it? I don't care what other people think of me if I do.

It is just a bag.

BaoanGuy:

I agree. It's just a bag.

12 years 18 weeks ago
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Sinodog:

It's not just a bag. It's symptomatic of a broader issue: a sense of entitlement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entitlement), spoiltness and inability to be responsible and independent. You may think that carrying her bag is no big deal. By indulging her like this, you'll soon see the spill-over into other areas, assuming you have a modicum of discernment. She will never be accountable or grow up. You infantilize her and enable her narcissism (http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/narcissistic-types-chinese-women.htm).

12 years 18 weeks ago
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Ammia:

Well said, Sinodog!

12 years 18 weeks ago
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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 335

Shifu

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JamesR is quite obviously a fag. A fag with a bag. Do you let her put eyeliner on you too? And do you wax each other's moustaches?

Never carry a Chinese girlfriend's purse/handbag. Next thing you know she'll want marriage and kids.

BaoanGuy:

I disagree. If you love the woman you wont have a problem.

12 years 18 weeks ago
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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 362

Shifu

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James, Rodney Alcala had the same problem. He was a very shy man, and couldn't halp but do nice things, but probably he wasn't man enough because girls rejected him. He was a very desperate man, even went to the Dating Show to find girlfriend!

In the end, he decided to man up, to refuse to bend to girls' demands. He became wild, and no girl could resist him.

So when you have trouble deciding what you should do, ask yourself "what would Rodney Alcala do"!

Best of luck and drop the purse!

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12 years 35 weeks ago

Getting halp from moar and moar people is like spin-o-rama high-fiving new friends on answers.echinacities.com with a tip of the hat finishing move.

 
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Gentlemen should do that for ladies in China. I think it's also the same as the west.

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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 316

Shifu

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carry a pursure is not a big issue, if asked politely and girls shall know one thing it makes the boys irritating so kindly avoid it.

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12 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2488

Emperor

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I told me GF right away that I couldnt handle it, we have a 30 second rule, with the stipulation that I have to hold it while looking soo over-dramatically disgusted that everyone can see Im a man.
Any longer than that shes on her own. SO we had to comprimise. She carries her light ass purse by herself. And my pockets are overloaded with shit all the time. But I still have my dignity!!!!!!!!!!

BaoanGuy:

You guys have normal girlfriends. My Chinese girlfriend was the opposite. She would try to hold all of my stuff for me. I'd always have to stop her.

12 years 18 weeks ago
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12 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 119

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A little like Mike, I have a time frame limit. I've told my girlfriend I had no problems holding her bag for a duration of up to 3 minutes. After that, I simply drop it on the floor. After a few times having her stuff drop on the mucus-covered pavements, she caught on quick. Now she goes to the bathroom a lot faster than before.

BaoanGuy:

That's a good one. I like that idea

12 years 18 weeks ago
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12 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 37

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real gentlemon wont think of outside opinion and just want to please his gf. it is nice show of attention and good care, this is why we say they r gentlemen, and r real men. you r stronger and we trust you to carry the handbag, so it shows my love too

MissA:

Making him a pack mule shows your love? What f*d up mindset is this?

12 years 2 weeks ago
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12 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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Are you a girlyboy playing?
I agree if your Chinese Bf likes to carry your purse he may have many things in common with you, as in liking men too. Does he walk while carrying his wrist in the air and bent? If not I have another idea, he may be setting you up to steal the purse. No one mentioned that yet.

Zoo,, I was bored and up all night when I wrote that,,and no drugs were involved.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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If you're carrying around your girl's bag, you can bet there's a 100% chance your balls are buried somewhere in there too.

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 110

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Yea, my girlfriend bought matching sweaters once and matching shorts another time. I wore them once to make her happy, but that was as far as I could go. I never wore them again, and pissed her off when she asked we wear them again at the same time.

She's alright now, but you just have to admire just how much girls here want to make ego-less slaves out of their bfs.

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
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why dont my chinese boy hold my hand/kiss in public im british and thats what we always see here [coming away from the bag thing] Smile

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 119

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Lorraine,

Maybe it's just my personal experience, but Chinese guys in the street are actually VERY affectionate, sometimes maybe a little too much.

I guess it's a releasing of norms - I've heard from many people it wasn't acceptable before to have any public displays of affection. I've witnessed a lot of sloppy, slobbering kissing in public, playful hitting and groping hugs.

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 423

Shifu

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Jessie-Wang, if girls are always tired why do they go outside with a boyfriend? Weak also? so buy i small bag so you can carry it yourself, your boyfriend is not a gay... i hope

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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We talk about this a lot, me and my Chinese girlfriends.

We feel sick when we see a guy carry a really small purse of his gf, and we think that girl is a bitch, that guy is pervert……

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 47

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This question ties in to Chinese men being weak. This is the reason - their women are ball-breakers.

The new divorce laws make a lot of sense now...Chinese men are becoming afraid for their man-purses.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 783

Shifu

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To carry your girlfriends bag is to disgrace yourself in public

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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1391

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I used to do it for some exes, but now not anymore.
If she doesn't ask I don't propose her to take it.
If she asks I say no.
I don't have to carry her stuff around, especially since she's the one who decided to take a big bag, fill it with lots of stuff, half of which she won't use, and putting all that weight on one shoulder, which is tiring.
It's a total humiliation, and I'm never doing it again.

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12 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1197

Shifu

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My gf would never even think about asking me to carry her bag.

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12 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 960

Shifu

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My partner often carries a Nike/Addidas unisex type sports bag around and if it is a bit heavy as it is because it is filled with snacks, water etc thatb she carries for US or when she goes into a store etc I will carry it. She does not expect me or ask me to do it and you know what, I am man enough to not give a fk what anyone else thinks about what we do for each other in our relationship.

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12 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 280

Shifu

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If a guy offered to carry my bag once on a long day when it was heavy and my laptop was inside I'd find it sweet . Offering to carry my shopping bags , sure , it's sweet . Carrying my grocery bags ? Heck , that's mandatory . But my light , small little purse ?!?! I'd find it freaking weird . Especially if it happened on more than one occasion . Puzzled

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12 years 24 weeks ago

Before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

 
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