You might check-out the following blogs, which speak a lot (but not only) of Chinese guy & non-Chinese girls love, written by real genuine non-Chinese girls with a solid grasp of Mandarin and living in China
* http://www.speakingofchina.com

* http://www.sarajaaksola.com

* http://chinaelevatorstories.com

VPN might or might not be required, depending in how much censorship bigotry your Internet provider is into (China Unicom, I'm looking at you). They all are really honest of how things really are, just less brutally than we are here

I had a Chinese boyfriend for more than 2 years and yes, we were serious to a point where we were also living together. It didn't work out 'cause despite all the nice words I would hear all the time, he really didn't want to work for his future. He had a job he didn't like and that he didn't study for (his dad paid a friend to get him that job, as often happens here in China) but he still wanted to have an iPhone, a car and a nice wardrobe. Although my parents loved him, I had to brake it off. 

That shouldn't influence you tough, I think Chinese guys can be really nice. They can put up with all the BS Chinese girls can bring. 

I'd say you should try to get him better and see if his goals in life are any similar to yours. Ask questions, talk to him and do not take anything for granted. He might think you're a little too straightforward but when it comes to relationships nothing should be left out. 

Am i overly suspicious because of what has been going on for the past few months, or did the poster answer their own question.

Lots of good Chinese men.  However their morals systems are a bit corrupt.  Example: Married men claim to be Christian but have no problems having a mistress/ second wife. They are unhappy with the current wife but will not divorce.  Instead they create a second family somewhere else.  I have to give it to Chinese women who deal with this type common system in China.  This is why most Chinese women seek foreign men instead.  Chinese men make it easy for a woman to desire something other than Chinese man.

double entry

I know a guy here (not me) that made a ladyboy mistake.

I think dating a Chinese guy is the same as dating a guy from your homeland (with some barriers though). I have dated two Chinese guys named Heaven and Hell.  They are both romantic & sweet but their characters are very different from each other (of course they were raised differently by their parents). I rejected Hell and chose Heaven. Now, my relationship with Heaven works well (getting ready to settle down). However, we sometimes struggle to understand each other since I can't speak Chinese and his English level is intermediate. We use English when we converse/chat and he uses dictionary if there's a need to translate words which are new to him. It wasn't a big problem for us until he introduced me to his parents (they can't speak English). So recently, I started studying Chinese on my own. 

I've been with my Chinese boyfriend for nearly two years now. He's sweet but there are some cultural/language barriers sometimes, these days less so than before. Our biggest hurdle has been that when something in his life isn't going well, like work, he just avoids talking about it. I moved here from another city to be closer to him, and when I arrived it turned out he'd quit his job just a few weeks before and was doing some "business' with his friends, basically just busy all the time and not earning a cent. Every time I asked how things were with the business, he'd change the subject and get all grumpy. Over time, we talked it and and I realized he wanted our relationship to be a sort of "safe haven" where he could get away from the things his family bugged him about continually. He's learned that I expect honesty and am actually a really good listener with good advice, and things have been much better since then. Now he's got a good full-time job and does business with his friends on weekends and evenings, and he always tells me about his day, since he knows now that I'm not just digging for information. We live together with our adopted cat and have a really good relationship!

On the other hand, I dated a different guy in the city I was in before and he was a cheating, lying, abusive prick. Don't go out with guys you meet in a bar, which is good advice in any country.

I married my Chinese man 1,5 months ago and wanted to give some insight to dating Chinese men.

You have already noticed that Chinese guys tend to become very serious in the relationship very soon, much sooner that would happen in a Western relationship. Of course you two should take the steps together at a speed that is comfortable for both of you.

I think it's important to see if you two have similar plans for  the future and similar values. Things like getting married, having kids, where to live, balancing career and family are important questions to think about before getting too serious or marrying someone. Especially in a multicultural relationship that always has cultural differences.

I used to date two other Chinese guys before I met my husband. The first one ended because he wasn't faithful and I ended the second one because he wasn't working for our future. He was serious with me, but he didn't show it in real actions to make a good future for us.

If you have more questions please feel free to ask!

oops sorry - wrong thread.