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Q: Are Chinese lawyers more clever than Western One's?
HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I..., Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________ __________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________ __________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
__________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
__________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________ _________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________ __________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
__________________________ _________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
__________________________ _______________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
__________________________ __________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________ __________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
__________________________ _________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
__________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________ ____________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
__________________________ _______________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
__________________________ _______________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
__________________________ __________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
__________________________ ____________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
Are Chinese lawyers more clever than Western One's?
10 years 50 weeks ago in Visa & Legalities - China
lawyers have to ask stupid questions sometimes because the jury is usually very stupid in america . dropouts, unemployed retired with dementia etc.
chinese lawyers are not much better, when i bought a property , i knew the laws better than the lawyer, complete idiot. had the lawyer for show.
GuilinRaf:
Sometimes, we ask "stupid" questions for strategic reasons, for example, to elicit an emotional response from the witness.
For example, a witness who claims that he does not lose his temper easily, when oftentimes confronted with a stupid question he will react accordingly. A patient person will "indulge" the "stupid lawyer" while the temperamental one will rip us a new one. When they do, and the jury sees that, they now have reason to doubt his patience (and by extension, the rest of his "honest" testimony).
We also use them to precisely get them angry because in the heat of anger, they may be more truthful and not have enough time to think up a lie.
ambivalentmace:
being a cpa , had to deal with tax lawyers, most were very competent, but some lawyers cant fill out paperwork correctly that worked for the tax lawyers, but you get used to it after a while. i considered law but i would have been the greedy money hungry type from growing up poor, did not have the conscious for it, much rather be the rich kid lawyer with a chip on my shoulder that sarcastically wants to screw over everybody in power and get myself killed for a cause, that would be easier on my conscious.
Lawyers should be terminated.
philbravery:
can you imagine Matty as a Lawyer
Come to think of it
Sorry Raff but you have to admit that some of those questions are right up his ally
Um...no. They aren't. Bribing a judge as opposed to making a sound argument means you're lazy, not smart.
Why are you gonna try and be one? Do you wanna be an attorney? Because to be honest I think you would make a lousy one! 
As for your question, I don't think they are that well prepared by their law degrees. It is a degree just like other ones, for example English majors who graduate and cant put a normal sentence together.
But those quotes you put there hand me rolling on the floor, haha
