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Posts: 19

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Q: Can a Chinese father kidnap his daughter from American mother?

Hi

I married in China to a Chinese man,  have a daughter. She was born in e USA.

 

I came  to the US and divorced him in 2013. He's been banned from entering the USA to  his daughter due to domestic issues.

 

He has since remarried.

 

I am considering teaching in China, with my daughter now 6, so she can know Chinese culture. If he learns we are in China can he kidnap her legally? I heard China does not have to obey us law concerning child custody.

 

Thanks

7 years 10 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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Shifu

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As you probably already know, rule of law doesn't apply to China, it's all about status and who you know. Depending on who your ex-husband is, and who he knows, he could or could not get away with kidnapping his daughter from you. If his family is rich and powerful enough, there is nothing you could do if that happened, no judge or lawyer would want to help you.

 

US law and enforcement does not apply in China, your embassy would be powerless to help you and would only tell you that it's a up to the Chinese court. The only thing your embassy could do is redirect you to a list of lawyers working with them, but then again it's no guaranteed that any of them would want to help you if your ex-husband's family is powerful enough, because of fear.

 

In your situation I would advise against teaching in China, or teaching in a different province than the one in which your ex-husband resides. If you decide to teach in the same city where he lives, you are only asking for troubles, this is a friendly advice. There are lots of ESL jobs across Asia, why not try countries with rule of law such as Japan, Korea or Taiwan? In these countries, they wouldn't let your ex-husband leave the territory with your daughter if he doesn't carry her passport too.

 

Be warned that there has been cases of Chinese ex-husband/wife kidnapping children from their Foreign ex-husband/wife and there was nothing the Foreigners could do about it. In some cases they didn't even know where the kid was and Chinese authorities refused to help whatsoever.

Englteachted:

I honestly think this girl is looking for trouble.

7 years 10 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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I don't know what the legal situation would be, US law doesn't mean anything in China and Chinese law doesn't mean much more but if he did kidnap her I could easily see the police or courts siding with him regardless of what the law actually is.

 

 

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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

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As you probably already know, rule of law doesn't apply to China, it's all about status and who you know. Depending on who your ex-husband is, and who he knows, he could or could not get away with kidnapping his daughter from you. If his family is rich and powerful enough, there is nothing you could do if that happened, no judge or lawyer would want to help you.

 

US law and enforcement does not apply in China, your embassy would be powerless to help you and would only tell you that it's a up to the Chinese court. The only thing your embassy could do is redirect you to a list of lawyers working with them, but then again it's no guaranteed that any of them would want to help you if your ex-husband's family is powerful enough, because of fear.

 

In your situation I would advise against teaching in China, or teaching in a different province than the one in which your ex-husband resides. If you decide to teach in the same city where he lives, you are only asking for troubles, this is a friendly advice. There are lots of ESL jobs across Asia, why not try countries with rule of law such as Japan, Korea or Taiwan? In these countries, they wouldn't let your ex-husband leave the territory with your daughter if he doesn't carry her passport too.

 

Be warned that there has been cases of Chinese ex-husband/wife kidnapping children from their Foreign ex-husband/wife and there was nothing the Foreigners could do about it. In some cases they didn't even know where the kid was and Chinese authorities refused to help whatsoever.

Englteachted:

I honestly think this girl is looking for trouble.

7 years 10 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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This is a very bad idea and you should know better without asking the question. Unless you lived in a bubble while you were in China before, you know this is a crazy idea. there is no chinese culture just copying everyone else, if you want chinese culture, work for Hess in Taiwan.

Englteachted:

Exactly, mainland has no Chinese culture, it's in Taiwan

7 years 10 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Why not go to Taiwan? Why tell every fucking mutual friend? Why go to someplace accessible to him? Why advertise where you are? Seems simple to me

 

And yes, he can but what you'll have in your favor is the kid's visa. 

philbravery:

with you on this Ted why go looking for trouble.in a place you aren't going to be able to win . why put a kid through this crap?

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Have you ever came across a woman that just loved drama.

7 years 9 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Right, thanks for the answers. I knew, but now I really know. I had so manypeople telling me that (including him) its impossible he takes her in China if she has  US passport.

Englteachted:

You're worried about him taking her but then you're telling him that you're bringing her to China? WTF!

7 years 10 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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My cousin is divorced mother with two daughters. She lived with her ex-hubby in Moscow, and soon after they get divorced, Singaporean-he remarried and have son. Live happily ever after ....

 

My ex-Chinese GF has daughter from the first marriage, and her Chinese ex remarried and has son. Live happily ever after.

My ex told me, main reason for the divorce was 'he wanted a son' ....

 

 I am just saying ....

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I just read one of your other posts where you describe how you went back to the states.

Have you considered this... if you return to China you might end up facing kidnap charges yourself ? I'm not saying they'd be justified necessarily but if your ex's family got the police involved at the time, or decided to when you returned, you might find yourself having to explain yourself to some people with no sympathy for your side of the story.

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Governor

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Stiggs, yes I did think  that.....and the thought is terrifyng. I think I better give up my dream to teach and raise her in China.

Hotwater:

As has been suggested before....look into Taiwan

7 years 10 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

When you have a child you have to be practical and do what's best for your child and not chase impractical, selfish 'dreams'. You have a 6 year old, grow up already 

7 years 10 weeks ago
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7 years 10 weeks ago
 
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As long as your passport number# isn't the same as your last one, than thats a start but the name will match, so you might wanna legally change your name first which is very easy to do in the U.S... After all working long term is the goal so a name change wouldn't hurt.

But I am not kidding when I say if he finds you than you are caught, there are too many ways and too many methods in this country to make you suffer, because Police and special friends can still be bought.

I would recommend you try working in Hong Kong.

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A couple of things that won't add much to what's written above, but...

 

Firstly, you say she was born in the US, but don't clearly state what her legal nationality actually is... China doesn't allow dual citizenship, so legally you'd have to choose either US or Chinese... I would like to think that the US embassy wouldn't be too happy with the kidnapping of a US citizen - even if it is a domestic issue.

 

You are divorced - where? In the US, or in China?? The laws (cough) governing rights to children are quite different. (What Randomguy wrote above is 100% true!)

 

You've already been in China, and one of your posts had you wanting to GTFO as fast as possible... now you want to return so your daughter has "Chinese culture".... what do you think you can find that you didn't discover last time you were here??? What did you find that you think is so great that your daughter really needs to experience it? |As others have suggested, try Taiwan or HK. Even Chinatown back home has more 'culture' than mainland China!!! (at least, that's different to most other cultures, and is worth experiencing ...)

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PS... the word 'kidnap' is, by definition, illegal!

 

And 'can' he... yes, of course!!!! Doesn't make it legal.

ironman510:

Good point..

7 years 9 weeks ago
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Hi
just read your posts from a couple of years back.
I feel tgat coming back to China would be a big mistake.
I can garentee your ex will take your daughter and the law will be right behind him in China.
Get on with your life some where anywhere but China.
Good luck to you

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Listen Chinese need visas to get into Taiwan or HK... 

 

I HIGHLY suggest either one of those two... or maybe a place like Singapore. 

 

Just don't risk China mainland and you should be fine. Just because he was a sack of shit loser doesn't mean you can't raise your child to learn about the great aspects of Chinese culture. But going to the mainland means risking a lot. 

 

 

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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if you insist on bringing your child to China, which is a terrible idea as outlined above, don't come to work. A holiday may be the best thing, not longer term, and a holiday in Taiwan.

 

China is no place to raise a child for the myriad of reasons stated before, even if such basic things as your child's health is something that concerns you.

if you are a US citizen, you don't even need to leave America to teach your child about Chinese culture, as there could be many American/Sino cultural organizations there.

 

Hell, even your local Chinese community could give your child cultural exposure without running the risks of health damage, educational retardation, child abduction etc.

 

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7 years 9 weeks ago
 
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