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Posts: 115

Governor

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Q: Chinese people at house parties

I had a house party last weekend and I invited some Chinese friends. There was a big mix of people from different countries, but I found that the Chinese people were quite uncomfortable just mingling... they kept asking if we could play some games or activities, so we set up beer pong, played some random games and they got into it. 

 

Have you had this experience? I thought it was really funny

9 years 3 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 548

Shifu

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I have had several house parties with Chinese guests. I would cook some western food. They loved it. We would chit chat for a while. Then, the excuses of having to leave begin. They love to hang out at a round table in a restaurant for hours, or a KTV. But, house parties are a very uncomfortable situation for them to be in.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 2488

Emperor

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Yeah, i saw it once. My friend moved from central china to GD last year and i drove up to his house warming party with his new colleagues. All chinese. I knew 80% of them and they are mostly cool people i guess but you could feel the akwardness as soon as you walked in. Everyone sitting. Playing with their phones. Some were snooping. Someone turned on the tv and turned down the music so they could hear it.

It just just brutal. Luckily he kicked them out and we went to get drunk.

I think this is a cultural thing. People live in apartments with their parents. There are no house parties. Group activities are bars ( where they cant really socialize with new people due to the noise) and dinners but chinese seem to be a bit anti social as it is. Takes a while for them to not rudely ignore the new person. They need to be pretty open to quickly break the ice.

So a house party is hell. They will just sit in a corner with the person they came with.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
Posts: 548

Shifu

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I have had several house parties with Chinese guests. I would cook some western food. They loved it. We would chit chat for a while. Then, the excuses of having to leave begin. They love to hang out at a round table in a restaurant for hours, or a KTV. But, house parties are a very uncomfortable situation for them to be in.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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I saw this quite a few times, my conclusion is that it's a cultural difference, most Chinese are not at ease with the idea of casual talk, they find it awkward, they won't talk just to talk.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Oh, yeah. I have tasted it this Saturday. My son had birthday so I "forced" my wife to call some of friends, whom have boys in his age to come for small party, eat cake and play one afternoon together. I have to hear many reasons why this is not good idea, that chinese people don't like this ...

 

 Wait, what ? people don't like to be invited and have a some good time by talk and eat ? Ok. One girl from my sons KG is same day born, so they celebrated together. by chinese way - in a restaurant at evening on their Birth Day. they both cared only for the cake I brought (baked ) and we have some talk over a dishes of meat and veggies.

 

I was preparing for the "party " some western way snacks and drinks - put all on side table and pick what you like, drink what you like. For one family I have to cook lunch, because they came at 10am, instead of afternoon, as was my schedule. Than came my boss, with her French husband and son. they enjoyed the snack, cheesy things on bread and so on. boys was playing with cars and planes and they was happy. only the parents, specially of the last boy who came, was so calm, sit in a corner, talking just a bit, too shy to try what I prepared and blah blah.

 

 I have show to the first audience part of Jackass movie... Ohh, funny, ooh they are so free, they have nothing to do and doing such crazy things. ooh they are so free, are they boring ? No lady, this is life we have back home no work at weekends no schools at weekends. we enjoy our only 1 life on earth.

 

 Finally it came out that they was nervous from my boss, specially my wife, but my boss is one of the best boss you can find. That's why I was not afraid to invite them and she was pleased I feel.  And they, they was the only, who did not even ask what is behind the closed doors ( our bedroom ). all others have to see it ...

 

 So yeah, most chinese do enjoy anonymity of restaurant where they can shout or anything,  but at home it is weird for them.  Also mostly their homes are not suitable to receive guests. but that's another story.

 

But on the end, I was happy that things went well and that my son have had a good time, except that I have to eat the cake almost all by myself  ( there was not the ugly distasteful cream as you can have at every shop same ).

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Well, the thing is Chinese (most of them) are pretty boring and shy when it comes to expressing themselves in English.

 

So if you invite them to a house party and they are not the so outgoing (almost crazy types), then chances are they will just sit there quietly for the entire party playing with their phones. You have to give them something to do or they will be very happy to do nothing.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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