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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Do Chinese view men and women foreigners differently?
Some of my foreign guy friends always seem to be on the defensive. Forever listening to a mountain of insults and people looking for a fight. Where as people do talk about me in Chinese, but usually don't direct insults my way.
Do women foreigners in general feel more welcome here than their male counterparts? Or is this just some kind of "guys being guys" posturing thing that would happen anywhere?
my experience is yes and no they will be rude to you and kind to you the same way but except for smoking and drinking. they automatically assume all women dont drink or smoke so they will not offer you booze or try to encourage youj to drink the liquor. other than that you are just a laowai
I've thought about this a lot. Even though women foreigners are universally considered whores, they are still treated better than Chinese women.
My theory is homophobia. Hear me out here:
Every day guys in pink polo shirts tied around the waist give me a limp-wristed wave and say "heeeeeelooooooooo" in a high falsetto: all perfectly manly heterosexual behaviour in China. Also, they are really into Nsync and New Kids on the block. And ask me things like 你想成为朋友吗? It comes across as either flirtatious or mocking, and in either event I don't want to be bothered by strangers constantly, every time I go outside, every day of my life.
I have no clue how to interpret this, except for whitewashing it all as "cultural differences". Honestly, the redneck, small, snowed-in mining town part of my brain tells me: "Gay fag queer homos." The civilized part of my brain tells me differently and I believe in tolerance and dude marriage and all that stuff but....
Another problem is the lack of independence. I was raised to believe that a man should be 100% independent 100% of the time and you don't bother anyone who isn't bothering anyone else, but these Chinese always mothering me.... I know in my brain they think of it as friendly and helpful, but I think of it as condescending. I can't help it.
Anyway, my cultural baggage is in battle with my reasonable self all the time here. It is mentally exhausting and I would like to be a normal person again and not have to think about it or deal with it. One of my favourite hobbies is walking down the sidewalk lost in my thoughts and man I really miss that.
Lastly: I am the cool guy entertainer. In China women="no speak no slave" man = "outgoing". Foreign man = "cartoonishly outgoing" and if I don't fit the stereotype there will be lost face and hell to pay.Everyone expects a show. In the old country, I was never expect to be "on". Here, I have put on a 24 hour minstrel show or I cannot survive.
For the first two years in China, it didn't bother me. After two years I called it "culture shock" and waited for it to pass. Still waiting.
I hear a lot of guys on here say they feel like a dancing monkey. I have not experienced that. However, sometimes I have felt like I am being treated like a child. I don't think that is necessarily because I am foreign. Instead, it is a combination of being a woman and that they want to help, along with the fact that I don't really know any Chinese.
I think there are more numerous negative stereotypes surrounding male foreigners, including one about foreign men "stealing" Chinese women. There are also more male than female foreigners in China. My students didn't seem to have any expectations of me. If there are any negative stereotypes about female foreigners, they have not been applied to me. The people here don't seem to mind that I don't talk a lot. I'm only really talkative with close friends, and only about certain things, so I must seem like a very quiet person to them. I have not gotten any insults that I know of, but I have gotten compliments.
Honestly, I think that the other determining factor besides whether you are a girl or guy is whether they think you are good looking. If you don't fit their version of beauty (pale skin, big eyes) then they will not be as kind to you. But yes, I think there is a big difference between how foreign men and women are treated here.
Don't jump on me please. To be honest most foreign woman are big and I think this makes it hard for the Chinese to talk to you because if they do they will ask you why you are so fat!! I know because they have ask me the question many times. They just say to me I am strong (they mean fat stomach) actually girls rub my stomach which is a bit embarrassing!
Jnusb416:
I had heard of that, and I was afraid they would think I was fat, even though I am not overweight. I guess that even though I have curves, my waist is small enough for them. I am not tall, so maybe that helps? I don't think I would ever want to shop for pants here, but I'm sure that shirt shopping would be no problem. My feet are a little big for China, but I've found some shoes in my size, although here it is size 39. In America my feet are average size. I have only been here for a month, there is still time to receive an insult. But so far, I haven't received any.
HugAPanda:
Aww they think you are Buddha? or maybe making a wish. That's cute!