By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: Do people in your home country think you are losers?
Following on from my last question, what do your friends and family in your home country think about you coming to China?
This question of course assumes that all your friends and family are in your home country. Just as Chinese would assume.
What do you think? Proud or ashamed?
Some were surprisingly jealous of me going to China. I rather liked that aspect. I was doing something they never thought of doing, never had the imagination or balls. And they knew it. Spent their whole lives in the same place. Maybe going to Spain twice a year in some tourist resort. Unlike Chinese they have access to the world and never use it.
Yep a lot of people judged me to be a loser because I went to China and will go again soon. They weren't wrong really. I was one of those escaping from a dead end life. So what, it worked. Got some options, a beautiful Chinese gf, interesting life, a hunger to do better and get more. For me China worked so screw them.
coineineagh:
i saw many western european countries, but never Spain. it always struck meas a mundane holiday destination. Spaniards i met are nice, though.
diverdude1:
Back in the '80s my sister and I got up and walked out of a bullfight in Madrid. strange, sick, bloody 'sport'.
Not looser, but perhaps a bit crazy. The very first mail I got when I moved to China was from a friend and it simply said "Commie yet ?"
Not anymore, but I used to be. I hope I don't become a loser again.
People in my home country don't know me.
If they ask about me, my mom, she's sporting T-shirt with text: 'He's in China ---- P.S. Oral English Teacher'.
My mom likes to tell people I'm in China, what equals as she would say 'he landed on some outer planet'.
I'm like: 'What's the matter with you? You shouldn't tell people am in China. Tell them I'm in Rome or Myconos or something....' I guess she's proud, people are confused when she mentions China.
Was shoveling snow on my mom's house road last winter. Suddenly, few neighbours came out with shovels, and .....'you have very American accent'
(when I speak their not my native language. It's a sound/adding anybody eventually adopts while speaking foreign language for long time).
They watch US movies on the teli all the time, so I come like 'J. Wayne with shovel'.
Mastard, he never shoveled snow. J.W. lived in Santa Monica.
I hate to go to my mum's. Sometimes, I just hibernate in Camden or Amsterdam instead.
icnif77:
When I go to my mom's, I had to do 2nd&3rd language, and since I'm speaking mostly English last many years, both languages have English adding/sound, when I talk. Not that my neighbours are fluent in English that much, but I sound like J.Wayne 
speaking Colombian, while digging in snow.
Some were surprisingly jealous of me going to China. I rather liked that aspect. I was doing something they never thought of doing, never had the imagination or balls. And they knew it. Spent their whole lives in the same place. Maybe going to Spain twice a year in some tourist resort. Unlike Chinese they have access to the world and never use it.
Yep a lot of people judged me to be a loser because I went to China and will go again soon. They weren't wrong really. I was one of those escaping from a dead end life. So what, it worked. Got some options, a beautiful Chinese gf, interesting life, a hunger to do better and get more. For me China worked so screw them.
coineineagh:
i saw many western european countries, but never Spain. it always struck meas a mundane holiday destination. Spaniards i met are nice, though.
diverdude1:
Back in the '80s my sister and I got up and walked out of a bullfight in Madrid. strange, sick, bloody 'sport'.
I see you've woken up on the wrong side of the bed Vicky. What's up? Get rejected by a guy last night?
Or did you find out just now that your visa has been rejected?
Garbo:
Someone didn't get her visa after bragging to everyone here that she did. It's just as well she didn't. If she behaved half as badly as she does here, she'd get herself in trouble.
Strawberry66:
Ha! Who told you I did not get visa? Are you working for US consulate. How do you know? Use your brain before utter your mindless words. Bragging about getting visa? Why you see it as bragging? Probally because you likes to brag about things you can not achieve and think everyone will brag stuffs which they can not achieve.i just want to share my happiness with people care about me on ecc that the Officee told I am passed.
Hotwater:
"Use your brain before utter your mindless words" funniest thing I've read all day Vicky! Did you do that this morning before you started to rant & get abusive on your comments on this topic?
No, you just shot your foul mouth of as usual.
Ill have to go back to your two visa topics and see where I wrote you were bragging as I don't remember writing that.
Hotwater:
Yeah, I realize that now. So please ignore my last sentence about bragging.
I I still stand by the rest of what I wrote. You've been shouting your mouth off & being really abusive with other posters for two days now. It has got to stop Vicky!
Garbo:
Actually I've been to over 40 countries but do I mention that here? No . You are the bragging about getting a visa you clearly haven't gotten yet. Insulting people from Europe and the States wing help you in the long run as your IP address can be traces.
icnif77:
@Garbo: ''I believe, it's possible to avoid IP tracing, if one uses different 'wi-fi shops', or even different puters in the same shop.''
I know, I'm giving her ideas
. I'm convinced, she's posting Q and replies, after she reads old threads here. Anybody, who ever stepped into any Embassy knows Embassies are not Social service clubs. There are none of explanations given ever. Nowhere! Officer sits behind bullet-proof window with intercom, same as in any bank. Embassies are very similar (more civilised) to military outposts in foreign countries.
Counter person in Beijing's US Embassy probably explains to every applicant about one's hair-do and current weather conditions, and what not. Just before he/she accepts another 500 applicants standing in queue in front of the US Embassy. I heard, US Embassy in Shanghai is different.
People in my country think that I am adventurous. I have done things that they would never even consider doing, and been to places that they can only imagine. I actually feel sorry for them...they will never travel to more than a few tourist resort island countries near the US in their entire lives. Of course, I still wish that I had chosen pretty much any country in East Asia other than China to live, but that's a rookie mistake.
silverbutton1:
Agreed. I have done plenty of world travel since 2003. In 2010, I decided to "travel around Mexico" in my Ford Explorer. I didnt think much of it especially since I had been to Mexico before, backpacking around and using their decent bus transport. Some friends of the family, neighbors, and the border patrol thought I was "Nuts" to consider such an adventure. I didnt have any problems except from the corrupt "federal police" who wanted bribes at the checkpoints. Most Mexicans are honest, reliable people and NOT racist "go home gringo" types.
RachelDiD:
Agreed, I love Central and South American cultures--I think they are the most selfless, sweet, and generous people in existence. I remember working on a community project with a woman from El Salvador and driving kids all over our state. She was so busy taking care for the kids to remember that it was her 30th birthday. Mexico was awesome, and I loved living in Peru for a year. I got the same stupid questions you did, though ('Aren't you afraid of the drug cartel boogeymen who will kidnap you and cut off your fingers in the jungle? Because that is what all of Latin America is!').
I did Peace Corps in Kenya, and also loved the people. It was the year after Obama got sworn in, and the people were extremely pumped (I was with Luo people).
I dunno. I barely know anyone in America, a little bit in touch w/ my older sister. Probably would think I'm a loser though if I did know anyone, or at least pretty strange.
* whatever happened to the colorful characterisation: eccentric
As a non native English speaker I am regarded something special back home since they don't know much about the education system in China specially ESL field. People think I am kinda expert in my field and ask me to visit their schools when I get back home.
China and Pakistan has very close ties and Pakistani people don't know much about China but they do regard China as a big bro(It has proved to be a bro at various occasions) So for them someone in 20s working in China isn't a looser looser rather the opposite.
Perhaps friends and teachers in the UK think I am a bit less than a looser since they suggest I should have gone for further studies in linguistics after completing a masters.
For me, it has proven to be much better than UAE and I personally haven't seen much of the BS so far.
No, I do online business so they know it has nothing to do with "I can't find a job back home" or something ridiculous like that...
I lot of them wish they had the courage to do what I did. Every time I talk to someone and they are frustrated with financial issues or the red tape they would find back home... they want to come here like it is a way out of all problems.
And in a sense, it is... in the fact that to get an ESL job, you need very little qualifications, you normally get a free place to stay and an ample salary to live well and save. Of course, you have to put up with a whole new set of problems but most people back home still don't know much about how rude and ill-mannered many Chinese can be...
I think they see me more like the guy who set off to find some sort of treasure in a mysterious land, on the other side of the planet and found it. While I did find my wife and the time to build my career... the sigma of living in China is starting to change though because of closed door policies, cheating/conning Chinese and censorship of media.
Not a loser by any means. My friends and family love reading about my adventures here in China through my blogs and social media pages. They think it is awesome. They refer to this as my National Geographic life experience. And, they are jealous about all the benefits and money I get without having all the expenses. Sure. They make more money than I do in salary. But, at the end of the month, I am saving much more money than they can. Some ave ventured into the ESL teaching world as a result of my experiences. Other feel they are trapped by life obligations and expectations. And, others are just fearful of the world. But, all have been very loving and supportive. When they send me letters, cards and care packages from home, it really makes my day. I tell people that I may never be a wealthy man. But, I am definitely a rich man being here in China and living the life I am.
Like many others have said... definitely not!
My best mate regularly says how proud he is of me, and admires what I have done (granted, that's not just the China thing, but also the degrees I've been doing).
Again, if anything, they are proud/jealous. I spend very little of my time actually working, I get a fairly good pay for doing that very little, and I actually have a fair degree of respect given to me (due to the qualifications etc I have).
If I mention to someone back home what I do, I usually get some sort of admiration or 'wow' factor... "wow - I wish I could just pack up, leave all this 9-5 crap behind, and go see the world".
Scots you shouldn't let yourself being affected by whatever some insecure Chinese boy said about the foreigner. I feel that one or some of them said something really harsh to you recently and that's why you are asking these questions.
No, my family and friends don't consider me as a loser, they respect my choices of life, came to visit me regularly and see that I am doing very well for my age, they like my girlfriend and welcome her as a family member when we traveled to Germany for Christmas 2013.
I am doing so well in China that I have bought a house in a quiet and beautiful area back home using the money that I made here without borrowing a cent. If that's the definition of loser then most Chinese are losers as well since they focus on buying apartments.
I think that whoever calls the foreigners losers in China is himself a loser, trying to put down the laowai to raise themselves up. The truth is nearly every Chinese including university graduates are unemployable in Western countries, those who do are few and far between, they are already in the US or Europe and they don't call anyone a "loser" for they are satisfied with their own life and don't need to look down on other people.
As for me, I am working on setting up my office to be operated remotely, might move the whole thing to a new office in Qianhai SEZ in Shenzhen since there is a visa-free agreement being discussed between Germany and China for that area, I have found a nice office space for sale on plans, not too expensive and near the transportation hub with direct link to the airport by subway, the building has been approved by city planners but they have just begun the ground works. I might be out of China in the next 2 or 3 years depending on when it can be done, I will only come back from time to time for the usual administrative stuff.
Anyway, don't let yourself being affected by those losers, your life is surely much better than theirs.
Robk:
I bought an apartment here... decorating it now. I didn't want to buy one here initially because I don't like concrete playgrounds but Chinese are catching on now and the residential area has rolling hills, a man-made lake, small pagodas, parks, plazas, fountains. underground parking etc.
My brother-in-law bought an apartment in a residential area across from us (which I helped them buy btw)... and it is okay but nowhere near as nice. They sort of kept to the mostly concrete thing with some greenery and a large central fountain. But, I had to pay double the price. Worth it to me... I need to be near water and trees.
Just wondering, where did you buy the house and how much did it run you?
Do you rent it out while you are not there or is it just sitting vacant?
I am wondering because I am probably going to buy a house back home too... when me and the wife have children, we will stay here until the child is about ready for elementary and then move out.
ScotsAlan:
Nothing to do with insecurity Eortisio. The opposite really. Evidence gathering. Indeed, I have bought an apartment here too. My job is secure for a few more years, and my reputation in my field is such that finding another job will be no issue at all. This is purely about asking a cross section of people about their experiece. A very small cross section given the population of this country.
The people who know me (family, close friends) are proud of me. The others say that I'm lucky ()or/and brave, they seem more like curious and maybe a little bit jealous but I have no idea what they really think. I guess they don't think about me too much.But for sure no one sees me as a loser because of the fact I live in China. Quite the opposite.
When I announced to family and friends that I was going to take a job in China seven years ago, I got a few - not many - mixed reactions. None were disparaging.
(1) A good friend, older woman, member of the city council at home in the U.S.: "We were in China on business some years back and we loved it." Nothing more than that. No "Good luck" or "You'll love it, too." sort of reaction.
(2) My sister: A blank stare as if in a state of momentary shock. I suppose she didn't believe that I would take such a step. She's never left the front yard of her house so I get where she's coming from: going nowhere.
(3) My best friend, retired psychiatrist, former president of the state psychiatrists association: "You are brave."
The only one who has any doubts (other than my sister) is me. Some days I feel like a loser. I'm losing out on how the world turns back home on a daily, monthly, yearly basis. On trends, news, births and deaths, which way the wind blows, the changing of the seasons.
Most days in China are okay and I feel like a winner. The not-okay days are insufferable and I'm a loser.
Lots of good answers.
I asked this question because I work on evidence. And with the number of "cant get job at home" comments increasing, I thought lets collect evidence.
For me, when I said I was moving to China full time, my friends and family were pretty much neutral. They all knew I liked the place, so for them it was a logical thing for me to do. We had a beer, they wished me luck and I got on a plane.
But that reaction is far from abnormal. Because I come from a culture where it is normal for people to head out into the big wide world. I come from one of the most multicultural countries on Earth. We are exposed to different cultures all the time, and because of that, lots of us really do view the world as a global village.
Yeah, there is the political movement to not be part of the global village, but that's another story.
After all, I am far from the only person from my home town to head off to foreign lands. I know loads of people scattered all over the world. It's a normal thing to do.
The key factor of course might be that not one of us left to "escape".
I can't say for sure but I don't think anyone would consider me a loser. I know my family are all supportive of me. As far as my friends and good acquaintances go I don't think they've really thought that much about it.
I go back to Australia every year and what I've found is that conversations just continue on from where we left off the year before. No one ever really asks anything about my life in China. Most people aren't very curious at all.
And I don't know anyone who has done what done what I've done...move to another country. Which makes me the odd one out, not a loser.
Of course, when I do move back to Australia and find I can't get a job....then I'll be a loser.
Don't know, don't care. They are there, I am here. Why should I (or anyone) give a damn about what someone thousands of miles away thinks.
People back home feel like I abandoned them. Most of them think feel like I let them down by turning their back on them. They all know I wanted to see the world, and not just stay in one place.
ScotsAlan:
Please dont take offense. Do they sit at home complaining about immigration?
I think people that are working are not losers. Peoples hear that don't want to work and live off mommy and daddy's money and/or older sister or brother's money are the real losers .
