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Q: Do you believe that having an ayi is good when you have children?
I have met many different foreign couples or mixed couples who have an ayi to take care of the children.
When I go to play with my son, I sometimes see children with their ayi and the ayi let them do whatever they want, or even worse I have seen a 10-month baby prefering to stay with the ayi rather than his mother.
Now, do you think it's good for children to have a Chinese ayi to take care of them?
12 years 22 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
When both, baba and mama do work, and spend 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 to 7 days per week, out of the apartment, and there is no baba and mama, nor grandparents nearby, an "ayi" is the only logical solution. May not be the best, but it also gives them "face".
And for the record, I do not or will not allow an ayi to raise my kids.
My wife & I both work full time jobs. We have both my mother-in-law & an Ayi living with us full time. Grandma is almost 80, so having an Ayi is mandatory for us.
She has been with our family since before our boys were born. And our boys love her. But once a kid hits around 3 years old, they realize who mother and father is easy enough.
Is it good to have an Ayi? For us, the answer is yes.
skater:
Ayi may not be good when your kid(s) is 4 or 5 years old. The kids can become too lazy and spoiled with Ayi taking care of what that kids are supposed to learn to do by themselves.
It's the best for Children if the mama doesnt work.
i know some mama dont work , they still have an ayi in the house too, I think it's mainly because of the "face" thing.
Most ayi don't have much education, how do you expect what kind of influence they will bring to your child? so a temporary ayi is ok, long term is definetly a damage to the child.
I also noticed some Chinese family have philippine ayi for the child English study...This is really funny and silly thing How do you image a philippine accent in the future..lol?
crimochina:
their english is 100X better than yours so dont knock it, plus they know how to think independently and are not mindless drones simply following the pack or doing what is told
Straw_ManNz:
I reckon! i'm so over hearing people here run down Filipinos english. I have no problem understanding them and actually think their accent is rather pleasing on the ears, Certainly isn't broken monotone English.
paulmartin:
Localla,i think its your only post that makes sence,i also agree a child needs their mother or father to raise them in their early years fulltime
I think that sometimes it is the only option. I guess it's not any worse than any other stranger looking after your child. There is a teacher at this school who has an ayi look after her little girl. The little girl loves the ayi more than her mother and is a total brat. That's the kind of situation I'd rather avoid in the future.
an ayi is not a good idea. they the locals do not pay attention, they let children play at an open window on the bus, they let them run around and play in parking lots and driveways. a few days ago i saw an old man cross the street with too very young children. you know what his strategy was the two little children would walk out into the busy street hoilding their hands up while he walked slowly behind them , not holding either of their hands. that is what the people who grow up and live in this country are, look around you, do you really want to risk it? there is no thought to what might happen here
Xpat.John:
I guess it all depends on the skill of the Ayi. The one we hired was from a reputable agency and she actually had a degree in law. She has been the best Ayi I could ever hope for. She is gentle as a lamb and the only time I ever saw her get upset was when I raised my voice to my kids the first time. She actually told me in English, "yelling is not good. you scare the children." That was the first time I even knew she could speak English. Basically, if you hire a village auntie, you get a village auntie. You hire a professional, you get a professional.
Do you mean the babysitter? People who look for the babysitter don't have enough time to take care of their babies. The blessing or curse depends on the skills of the ayi.Bear in mind that the ayi will have significant influence on the baby.So think twice before you mak a decision.
From my experience, having an ayi is a good idea and most times nessary.
I quite job to take care my baby daughter while at the same time hire an ayi.Full time mother is a job 24 hours and 7 days a week, no holidays during the whole year, untile the kid old enough to go to kindergarden. Having an ayi to d the housework helped me a lot.
But if you ask me am I leave the home and baby to ayi alone? The answer is absolutly no.
And to Localla, education sometimes means nothing! As for "face", most Chinese family can afford an ayi.
My co-workers are from south africa and they have an ayi for their 2 year old. now the child can speak more chinese and english or afrikkans! They need the help because they both work and the ayi keeps the house clean. It's great for them and their daughter is learning through immersion a third language. When I have my baby I will certainly have one. In China the grandparents often help out, but if you are a foreigner maybe this is not a possibility so an ayi is a great idea.
No. I don't even have one for the apartment. I can do a crappy job cleaning my apartment for free.
My roommate and I tried having an ayi to serve more as like a chef ... coming in to cook for us because we were too busy and tired to cook for ourselves and she could do it while we worked in our rooms . It ended up not being worth it , though , because we paid her by the hour so it wasn't a good deal . About the same price as ordering take out . Woulda been cheaper to pay her to come in and make dishes for the whole week all at once ....
