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Posts: 122

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Q: Does staying in Starbucks work for meeting new friends in China?

Does staying in Starbucks work for meeting new friends in China?
Better than bar and pub?

 

I'm new to Shanghai. My supervisor asked me to sit in Starbucks for the chances to meet new people.
Does it work?

 

Even though Shanghai people would talk to me randomly a few time in the public. We don't have enough time to exchange contact methods. They are really people though.

 

Please share your thoughts and suggestions of making new friends in China.

Thanks a lot!

10 years 14 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Answers (13)
Comments (20)
Posts: 9631

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Not sure Starbucks is better than any other place. I supposed it matters what kind of people you are trying to find. E.g. if you are specifically looking for expats, then I can tell you there are two groupings of expats

1) those who go to Starbucks

2) those who prefer better coffee at a lower price

 

what kind of company do you work for ? 

lilichristian:

My supervisor just cared about my life in China because I'm the only girl who isn't Mainland Chinese in his team. My colleagues recommended Shanghai guys to me and told me about their reputations and all that stuff. Sounds interesting!

 

My supervisor suggested me to go to Starbucks because poor people would not be there often. Obviously, he wanted me to "dig gold" there! Hahaha!

Basically, I want to meet new friends, with just normal people is enough.

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

I see. Then maybe you could also consider joining e.g. a sportsclub or similar spare time activity. When I pass Starbucks one of the downtown Starbucks I am alsways surprised that it looks like a study hall. So many kids in school uniforms. 

 

When you are new in town. Maybe have dinner with colleagues, not that they would need to become your best friends, but maybe you'd find you would meet some of their friends or acquaintances and so on. 

10 years 14 weeks ago
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lilichristian:

Oh well, my colleagues are new-comers of Shanghai as well (from other provinces of China). Haha. We go out together sometimes. Still a lot to explore in this city. Or maybe I should enjoy being alone as I used to. broken heart

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

In any case. Starbucks isn't just Starbucks. here in town there are four of them so far. two are in residential areas, two in shopping areas, I think the number of people and the type of people differ between the areas. 

10 years 14 weeks ago
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When arriving in China, I went to Starbuck for the coffee and hoping to meet some people. Did not work, for the following reasons:
   * People comes with a group of friend, their gf/bf, not ideal to include a total stranger

   * People alone have their head stuck on their phone, table or laptop, they seldom look around
   * When trying to engage contact, people seemed very uncomfortable

 

So far, the best way I had to meet new people in China was going to a stadium to go running. Other people come running, they see I'm a regular. After a few times, they will engage conversation, or we would race ^^ University stadium, works even better, more people.

DrMonkey:

Ho, and at the stadium you meet people inclined to regular sport practice. So they are
healthy, toned and with some level of self-discipline ^^

10 years 14 weeks ago
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lilichristian:

Thanks for sharing! That's useful.

 

Do you get Chinese chatted up on randomly?
Or would you hit on them randomly in the public?

 

haha

10 years 14 weeks ago
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DrMonkey:

Chatting with random people in China does not work at all for me, apart from one notable exception : in the slow trains and in deep countryside ^^ In the trains, countryside folks always share their food and I would talk about my journeys, my hometown. I would ask about their place, how things are going on. Same in the countryside places. At the university, not as easy as that, but still not too bad, I remember having some good times with students.

In cities, well, I'm not sure what's wrong. Sometimes, it feels people are shy. Sometimes, it feels people are just not into talking with others, especially an obvious foreigner (I'm European). Maybe my Mandarin is just too bad. In comparison, in Vietnam, random chit-chat with pretty much anybody was complely ok, fun times ^^

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Aaaaaaaaaahhh! Please don't tell me you're channeling the spirit of Vicky!

A supermarket, not a meat market, is the best place to meet (not 'meat') people.

lilichristian:

Alright, I'm not her. Haha. I've been in this site for quite a long while.

 

By the way, Chinese guys are nice and adorable! <<< 

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

In that case, perhaps try volunteering in your spare time. You'll probably meet nicer people that way. Barring that, Chamber of Commerce events are a good way to network and meet people.

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You say you're not mainland Chinese, lili? Are you from Hong Kong or further afield?

 

On topic, I think the suggestion of looking to join a sporting/cultural group with a mix of Chinese expats was a good one,.

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10 years 14 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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A good way to meet people is to get WeChat.

I've not had much luck meeting new people except in bars... In bigger cities I think it is harder to meet people.

Samm11:

Yep, wechat is great.

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

yup, surely that would be a completely-weirdo free approach. 

10 years 14 weeks ago
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Rin:

No weirder than going up to random people asking to make friends.

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Trying to meet new friends isnt gonna work. It has to happen naturally. Find a place you like, and go often, when people see you around its easier to chat. Also, maybe think about the "vibe" you give off to people. Do you seem warm and friendly? or shy and closed off.  Warm people can meet friends anywhere....Probably why i dont have any..cool.  Oh and stop playing with your phone every waking minute. Good Luck!

lilichristian:

Thank you!

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10 years 14 weeks ago
 
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Why would your supervisor ask you to meet new people, does he want you to sell things to them/ introduce the company/ attract clients?

lilichristian:

No, the clients of my company cannot be reached in that way. Haha

 

My supervisor is caring to me as I come from a city which is different from here. Simply, he wants me to get used to stay in Shanghai so I can work for him as long as he wants. Nothing more than a kind heart. I'm so thankful!

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Samm11:

Ok, I see. He seems to be a nice guy, good for you. ;-)

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I meet many people by just sitting outside, someone always comes along, kinda like fishing. You could get a T-shirt that says ''Take me home'' We all know Burger King is the place to go.

philbravery:

edit:Please note      i didn't say a fu$king thing , however i like many others were thinking it surprise

10 years 14 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

Another way is to say that you want to practice you English and wear a very short skirt.

10 years 14 weeks ago
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dom87:

i dont think she is up to meet only foreigners like vicky. she also likes chinese

10 years 14 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

She can ask to practice her Chinese then and give out free cigarettes

10 years 14 weeks ago
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MissA:

I think lili seems a much classier case all round - and from a previous question, I think the Christian in her name comes from the fact that she is, in fact, a Christian. In which case she's unlikely to be hanging around short skirts in takeaway joints in the hope of pulling quickly. Sorry, ted. 

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Shifu

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I did not know you could stay in Starbucks. I thought they sold coffee.

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If in fact you are a Christian and you want to make friends.......doesn't the obvious solution come to mind???  When you go to church, you are exposed to many potential friends.  What's the problem?  Like-minded people all gathered in the same place.  Why did you not first consider this?  You said you're not from the mainland, so I assume your thinking faculties are working.

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From what I understand, most Chinese form bonds through family, childhood friends and colleagues. Little else is trusted. If your boss tells you to sit around in a cafe to meet people, he's either clueless, or doesn't care enough to introduce people to you. Try making friends in more traditional ways; it will be more efficient and less uncomfortable.

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My experiences and observations tell me malls and Western establishments usually just attract people "on the make" (looking for freebies) in China.

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10 years 14 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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"toastmasters.org"

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10 years 13 weeks ago
 
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