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Q: Does your child get singled out in China? What about at school?
I was talking to some friends and they said that "Yes!" their child does get singled out constantly.
People keep trying to touch their kid or talk to them. You would think teachers would be better at keeping things calm but it seems that many teachers don't really know how to deal with the nature of a "mixed-blood" child.
Usually the child gets a ton of attention, and for some teachers it makes them angry and they go out of their way to show that child is NOT special through excessive punishment or being firm. Children of foreigners tend to be more independent, open and resilient to authority. Some teachers are the opposite and treat the child with far too much attention. Always wanted to hold their hand or giving them far more attention than the other students... creating jealousy and envy.
My American buddy told me that his son's teacher decided to have the children sing a song with the lyrics... "Yellow skin is the best... Chinese are the best!" I thought he was joking but he wasn't... his son does have tanned skin but has visually obvious Caucasian features or non-Han features anyway. He said his son did not want to sing the song and was punished for doing so... Why the idiot teacher picked that song, he believes was a poke at him and his son... and follows the former mentioned type of teacher (possibly racist?).
NOT TO MENTION, this is a private school and not a public school, so you would assume pulling dumb crap like this would be monitored... you would be wrong.
I bring this up because this is one issue that scares the hell out of me if I have children in China. Sure, it is my choice to stay in China currently because of my wife but I don't want my kid traumatized because he is the only lao wai in the class.
So is your child currently in a Chinese class? How do locals treat your child? Any good or bad experiences?
8 years 49 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
I don't have children yet but I won't send them to school in China, that's for sure.
laowaigentleman:
Nor me. I can assure you of that. They learn about Mao and Lei Feng in preschool. Just learning about Washington sounds fucked up to me...
Mine is due to start kintergarten this year.
She is already being singled out by the teachers... or at least her daddy is. "Oh look, this child was fathered by an ATM machine"
ScotsAlan:
I can sort of see their point.
Chinese Government schools are massively underfunded. As a westerner, I am assuming the teachers want the haung bao so they can go to Bali on holiday. But maybe they want the money to improve the school.
The school is good. Maybe they need the money to keep it that way.
My Chinese MIL is looking at it differently of course. She has put a lot of money into that school via introductions of people willing to pay. If we have to pay she will lose face. But being a Chinese MIL, she is a bit dumb
She should include me in the bargain. A free native speaker to do lessons.
My point is... it's a face off. But nobody will tell me what is going on.
I have no problem with contributing cash to the school to improve the environment. But the Chinese on Chinese battle, the face v face fight, tosses all reason into the ether.
Face is beyond stupid.
I don't have children yet but I won't send them to school in China, that's for sure.
laowaigentleman:
Nor me. I can assure you of that. They learn about Mao and Lei Feng in preschool. Just learning about Washington sounds fucked up to me...
Yes. We have a small school in the county (closing it next month, fortunately), and my wife teaches local kids. Owen is given what Mainlanders probably see as "well-meaning curiosity", but for him it feels like a mob of 6-12 year olds surrounding a 2-year-old and chanting his name continually. Owen gets annoyed and tries to slap the kids to make them go away, and it's frightening when those 8-year-olds think they are justified to respond in kind with a stronger, more coordinated slap. No boundaries whatsoever.
The parents can be worse: They don't just get in his face; they'll pick him up despite him clearly not wanting it, he'll scream loudly and they still hold onto him with an overeager smile.
That said, the majority of parents are responsible enough, and even help keep an eye on him. It's just the rude minority gets away with too much, without consequences. If only people spoke up about bad behaviour.
ScotsAlan:
Ha ha Coin.
My daughter is 3, and she does the screaming thing. The older local boys are terrified.
No need to be a tiger parent when you have a tiger kid, and you have twins. Bloody hell, they will be terrors.
A friend of mine who has a daughter told me she gets left out a lot at school. She was very quiet and introvert which probably stemmed from that.
my boy is almost 2 years old,I really think when he goes to kindergarten he will be able to handle himself.I dont think he will have any problems.
My friend has a mixed race child and yeah his kid gets singled out, either treated as being more special or treated like dirt by other jealous and envious teachers or parents.
My son is a govt run kindergarten, and things are fine. the kids are often happy to see our Marek coming to school, calling him with smile and run together into classroom. Teacher is sometimes angry, because he is not like others, have our mind. worst for him is sleeping after lunch. I had the same problems, just could not sleep in a daytime in my kid time. he is hyperactive and while everyone is sleeping, he try to talk to them or playing anything he find in his bad and talk with himself. teacher can not accept that he is sometimes disturbing other kids from napping.
So, what have you parents done to rectify or improve your kid's situation?
