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Q: Does your Chinese Wife or Girlfriend Have a Bad Temper?

I'm married to a Chinese woman who has many good traits and strong points but she just has this terrible temper.  She doesn't show off this temper that much in public (unless she believes her husband or kids have done something wrong) but at home it is common place. The Chinese people I have talked to say it is common behavior for women especially those with kids but when I ask how they deal with it, normally I just get "stay silent".  Do you have this experience? What do you do? 

3 years 13 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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bad temper, jealous behaviour and paranoid that I will cheat on her. I have heard these traits are common for Chinese women but lets think why. China is a stressful environment where they are constantly having to worry about face. I am sure there is a lot of pressure from their parents too. I am not suprised that they lose it sometimes. As for worrying people will cheat them, who doesn't know at least one guy with a mistress? It is almost seen as an achievement having a mistress. When my partner plays up I just brush it off and ignore it. I find addressing the situation just makes it worse. I also find if they are being moody good sex gets then in a good mood again.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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I grew up around strong, stubborn women so my fiancee's temper dosen't seem out of the ordinary. She does seem more relaxed and easy going than the Chinese wifes/gf of others though.

 

I mean yeah, she get angry and upset sometimes, as do I, but we are usually quick to patch up things, forgive, move on and forget.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Yes, but not as bad as my Western ex-wife  We have decent chats from time to town during which we talk about things that annoys her and me.  I have also told her that to lose her temper in public is a no-no and will make us both lose face.  She generally admires my restraint when she gets angry.

 

Otherwise I just tell her "wo ting bu dong" and wait till she calms down.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Look at my avatar and picture the other half

Now I must go before she see's me at the computer and not doing the dishes or I will have to sleep outside again 

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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As I mentioned before, my wife's nickname is "xiao huo shan" or little volcano... need I say more about that? 

 

It is common place with Chinese women, Chinese people in general are extremely repressed. You would be mad too if you spent an entire life of problems that you don't solve well (Chinese are not problem solvers or preventers), guilt trips from your parents (get married, give me a kid, give me money) and tons of school with little reward. 

 

Best thing to do is leave them alone. Chinese are so emotional that when they get angry... you can't talk to them... the tiny ounce of logic they may have had goes out the window. 

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Not at all, so it seems like I'm the lucky one.

But by hell I'll tell ya....I was bloody due for some!

 

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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  There's a scene in 'As Good As It Gets' where Jack Nicholson is asked by some soppy receptionist, "How do you write women so well?" to which he replies, "I think of a man, and I take away reason, and accountability."

  Now I didn't understand that line in the least until I got married. Now I do. So.............does my wife have a bad temper? Does it matter? What it is is what it is. The real question is, do I have an unlimited amount of patience?

  Yeh.................I guess I have to.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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First Chinese girl I dated had a bad temper. She was a lunatic.

 

Second one I dated did not have a bad temper. She was an insufferable lunatic, sociopath, etc.

 

Third one... my wife. I married her. She doesn't have a bad temper, and she isn't a lunatic, sociopath or anything of the sort.

 

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Otherwise, sky diving may not be for you.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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My girlfriend has a short temper, when she wants something she wants it now, but it's not necessarily a bad thing if you know what I mean.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Everytime I read a family topic, I can't help but think you guys really are willingly accepting a lot of BS.

I don't accept bad temper for no reason and I don't answer to that. Neither would I even bother to reply to any of the classic cheating-on-me paranoia, not even as a joke.

On a side note, I also accept zero in-laws interference concerning any topic, and the use of comfort toys such as phones or tablets are limited to emergencies during quality time.

Sounds extreme? It's not, because I never actually had to enforce any of this, I just made sure I was marrying someone I wouldn't need to reeducate.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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  Not really, if anything, she is rather patient but can do the difference between things worth being patient, and things not worth it. My wife knows very little about West cultural norms and mindset, and I'm a brutally honest & rational person with a rather Latin temper. So sometime, we are tired by work, and we argue a bit over what is mostly cultural differences.

 

Example : asking me to not do this and that based on chinese folk medecine, when elementary biology shows it does not make sense. Washing things two time in the washing machine when one time is enough. Me ranting about politics without diplomacy.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Don't all girls have a temper? lol

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Women are temperamental. Half temper. Half mental.

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3 years 13 weeks ago
 
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Chinese girls are like birds, before marriage relation is different. But after marriage things totally get change. Everything's in the husband's  hand. If, we want to solve a problem We can but if we husbands don't then things get bit serious. Later on, then we put all of the blame on wife's head that it's her bad temper. So, for the smooth life, what I prefer is the earlier prevention. We shouldn't let those things happen which can cause probs in future.

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3 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Almost daily, there is no way to correct it. I fought back, I stayed calm, I discussed, no way, always same. I feel that pbrown22 have very similar relationship.

 It is like an psychical terrorism. 

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3 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Common folk

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I want beautiful Chinese wife! You no want your wife, I marry her. Have a nice day!! Smile :) Smile

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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