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Posts: 194

Shifu

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Q: Have any of you managed to stay on good terms with your Chinese ex?

I've heard too many horror stories of stalkers and people just generally going a little crazy after the break-up. Please someone tell me that there is such a thing as an amicable break up here!

10 years 28 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Working on it, I call her little sister now. I'm easing out slowly, but it's easier because I'm not there. I soon will be.

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10 years 28 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

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Nope. No way!! No why.

 

I had to block them both. The first one ended up finding out where I moved to in China, and hopped on a train to "see me" after I got married. She actually stalked me and followed me around on the train. She was gone 3-4 years ago, but she still keeps bugging me. She left me, so it's not like I'm this huge dbag (though I am, lol).

 

Second ex keeps trying to visit my QQ space several times a month... both of these girls were cast aside years ago. They've been stalking me ever since. Second one has been stalking my Facebook, in addition to my Qzone... I just found out last week.

 

Turns out they've been using new accounts to "track" my progress. I'm wondering if I should keep their fake profiles and QQ numbers so they can see how happy I am without them, but that seems a bit petty and feels like I'm stooping to their level, lol.

 

There's no such thing as an amicable break up in China. They never forget.

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10 years 28 weeks ago
 
Posts: 36

Governor

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I managed to stay with one ex on a good terms and I am not enthusiastic about having ex around at the first place. Ex is ex for a reason. But this girl was gentle, heart warming, treated me good all the way along, and when I was to leave China, I knew it would break her heart. So we talked a lot even when dating, I was honest with her and told her, I can’t stay and she shouldn’t expect long term relationship because I had to go back at that time.

 

When I left, I thought it would be fair of me to help her go through this hard break up, as she was never in serious relationship before, we dated almost a year. We used skype, emails and occasional calls and now when I got back to China, I gave her a call, she is getting married in winter and I am happy for her. We talk once every 2 months or so, remained good friends and we both kept each other in good memories. Wish this could have happened with others, but break ups suck and it takes emotionally mature person to handle things well. Even then, most of the times just doesn’t work out.

Hulk:

Nice. Guess I was wrong then.

10 years 28 weeks ago
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10 years 28 weeks ago
 
Posts: 46

Governor

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The first thing you need to understand...  The crap about the traditional, virtuous Chinese woman is a complete farce.  They lie, cheat and are unfaithful just like the women everywhere.  The difference is that money is everything to them.  So, if you have enough money, you can keep them.  If you take good care of them (and their family) it is possible to have a faithful one.  Never believe they are doing it out of love.  That concept is foreign to them.  Having said that...  I am friends with a couple Chinese ex-girlfriends.  There are others I have chosen not to remain friends with.  If they lie and cheat, and scam you, they will always be able to explain why it was your fault.  Foreigner are acceptable targets for deceit in this culture.  Always be aware of that!!

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10 years 27 weeks ago
 
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