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Posts: 2531

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Q: Have you degraded since coming to China or improved? In what ways?

I was wondering about it because I see so many foreigners come and go since living in China. 

 

I noticed a trend that in the first year, they go out, chase skirts (or pants for females maybe?), drink a little and try to experience China as much as they can. Then they either go back home, stay put  (where they are) or try a larger city in China. 

 

I have noticed that after the first year, many foreigners start to degrade in four areas dramatically:

 

1) Physically - their appearances drop rapidly, they either get super skinny or super fat and start to care a lot less about their personal hygiene, just a lot more sloppy than when they first arrived

 

2) Socially - many foreigners start to become "shut-ins" and only feel comfortable going to certain spots or places, a far cry from the lively person that touched down on Chinese soil a year or so ago

 

3) Mentally - a lot of foreigners get stressed out at the stares, the whispers and daily frustrations of China, a lot become mentally lazy and are at their sharpest when playing video games or chasing a skirt

 

4) Emotionally - seen many foreigners break down due to random reasons, manly China related... freaking out at someone who stared at them, going ballistic because someone got their order wrong a t a restaurant... 

 

So, in this four areas would you say about yourself? 

 

9 years 47 weeks ago in  Lifestyle - China

 
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Posts: 2531

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I will go first. 

 

1) Physically - good and bad, lost more hair, gained some belly fat but keeping in the gym hasn't led me too far from where I was. So this is a tradeoff. 

 

2) Socially - I do the poker nights and meet up for the gym but aside from that most foreigners just want to go clubbing, drink and pick up chicks... also not being an ESL teacher kind of puts me out of the loop. I hang with some Chinese people but not too often because quite honestly, they are fun to hang out with sometimes but we don't have too much in common. I would say degraded in this area overall. 

 

3) Mentally - I would say mentally I have improved just from viewing the world from a 180 turn. Certainly opened my mind up a lot about the world, society and Chinese culture. Improved for sure. 

 

4) Emotionally - Hmmm... I would have to say degraded. I was in the military and raised to be very polite. So coming to China to see stares, whispers, little children kicking dogs, mistake after mistake... can really drive me nuts. I would say overall degrade but looking into ways to smooth this over (travel usually helps). 

 

 

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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Physically, better always walking and distance doesn't seem far, 5 kms to my GFs apt, seems like nothing and I love watching. I walked over 20 kms one night in the heat, by the time I got home I was walking Chinese style. At home its 25 kms to a store, I never walk more than 1 or 2 kms with my dog and its a nice walk along a lake, still I rarely do it, never in the winter now. My knees are shot, but I love walking in China, miss my Collie, GF lost hers.

 

Socially. My best friends were people that I grew up with, but they were all crazy funny, some were manics like me. I moved from a city to a rural area years ago, worst mistake socially I could have made, getting a new a new date by noon is just a fond memory. China is better even though I can't speak much Chinese. I have some male Chinese friends , nice guys, not funny and they think I'm so crazy.

 

Mentally, more liberated

 

Emotionally. Often angry at the things I find rude, the line cutters, the gossiping, the stupid things I see, the insane things people believe in, the men that walk into me and I won't move any more, I give them the shoulder and make them bounce, then GF gives me shit for being rude. Why does no one understand that both should move? When I went home I simply said '' Goobye" to GF, I don't call or email. I have mixed feelings over this.

 

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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Physically: the same.

 

Socially: Some mind-set changed concerning certain groups. Since having kids, a "shut-in" since certain comments and actions would potentially drive me to acts that could get me into trouble. Many Chinese friends, but those are the ones who want something more out of life than just want 'something.'

 

Mentally: I've discovered that BS is king in China. Anyone who claims to be able to be, "faster than a speeding locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound..." are the ones everyone believes. When they find out that that person is not Superman, "face" dictates that they knew that all along. Stares and comments don't bother me in the least...after all, I can always go home and become something or someone better, these people (Chinese and foreigners) will always be the same - commenting on others and deriding others yet will never be willing to turn the spotlight on themselves.

 

Emotionally: being a Quebecois (but not pur laine), I believe in "live and let live" - your opinions, lifestyle and outlook have no impact on me unless you try to force them upon me. I've become far more patient whilst in China...ironically, the Chinese who are known for patience, have become less so.

 

I used to keep a count of foreigners that came and left in my former company. I stopped counting at 214 (we're talking in 7.5 years).

 

Bottom line, for me, you will not change China, but China will certainly change you (for better or worse). Each person gives and takes away what they perceive to be true, but that may not necessarily be the truth.

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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Physically a little better.  Since I walk everywhere, I have lost 30 pounds in the three years I have been here.  I started to lose my hair (slightly) as well.  I used to have long hair!  That is a combination of food and genetics in China teaming up to get me.

 

Socially- It is a push.  I have a small number of friends here as I did back home. I am a lot more patient as well.  I decided that I can't fight 5,000 years of civilization.  I just stand back and observe.

 

Mentally-  I am the same.  I lived in a small town in the USA with not so many friends as I do here.  The town in the USA had a lot of people who were aloof and unconcerned about those around them.  Ditto in the small town I am in now.

 

Emotionally- I've grown a little too sensitive.  Like people just focus on me because I am the foreign guy.  I have been trying to get away from the mentality.  The people here do a bunch of things to everybody.

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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My negative gradient has been pretty constant for the past 10 years.  I don't think it would make any difference where I was.

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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
Posts: 186

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When in Rome, live like Romans do.

Try to learn Chinese and embrace what china has to offer ......you will see new doors open up for you !!

There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.

 

Vyborg:

The reluctant Messiah speaking?

9 years 47 weeks ago
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9 years 47 weeks ago
 
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