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Posts: 4397

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Q: How different is the concept of personal space here to that back home?

  I remember when I used to go clubbing i'd notice guys dancing in such a way that their crotches were practically pressed up against the girls leg, and i'm talking about guys and girls who were clearly strangers. Back home that would be very much a no-no and I imagine the girls I knew would swiftly bridge the remainder of that gap with their knee if a guy was to presume such intimate proximity. Then of course there are road users: again, back home a person instinctively knows what distance is ok between themself and a fellow road user. I ride a bike and i'm constantly surprised at how close people get to me in their cars or on their bikes. It's like there are a whole different set of rules regarding personal space. Is it because so much of China is overcrowded that the limits of personal space are so much smaller? What are your thoughts? And PS: on a more personal note regarding my last question and the amount of misunderstanding it drew, I would like it to be known, for the record, that I absolutely, and definitively, have NO intention of EVER cheating on my wife. EVER. Well.........unless Halle Berry turns up at my door buck-naked and pleading to be covered in honey and have wild cherries eaten out of her butt. But otherwise NEVER!

11 years 2 days ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 9631

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It's VERY different. For example, as soon as you mention something is different (you are not saying it is bad as such) someone steals away your personal space to do so and tells you to get out. 

The other day on the bus, I am sitting down, (seat facing sideways toward th center isle) There is a guy standing in front of me, facing me, his crotch is constantly riding against my knee. This goes on and on and in an attempt to get myself out of my discomfort zone, if do a weird sneeze which makes my knee jump in a way that caused him some discomfort. 30 seconds later, he is humping me again. 

Now, that is all well on a crowded bus, however, this bus was half full. The guy could have taken a step back, there would have been plenty of space and he would still have had an overheard handle to hold onto when the bus driver makes the bus jump around like a lowrider by randomly pushing the pedals. 

mArtiAn:

  It's not a criticism as such, just an observation. Also i'd have told that guy to get his balls off my knee.

11 years 2 days ago
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GuilinRaf:

Froterism is a big problem in Japan....

11 years 1 day ago
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11 years 2 days ago
 
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personal space ? in Middle Kingdom ?  huh ?

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11 years 2 days ago
 
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Governor

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My understanding of the Chinese's understanding of personal space:

 

1.) On the road, anything goes as long as you don't hit anyone. (not that this doesn't happen.)

 

2.) Everywhere else, my theory is that personal space just isn't a concept the way it is in other places. Back home, we grew up learning specific ways to be polite, such as holding the door open for the next person, covering your mouth when you cough, not crowding other people, etc. In China, you're supposed to take off your shoes when you go to someone's house, offer to pay for everybody's meal, etc. I didn't grow up in China, so I don't know, but I don't think personal space is on their "polite list" so to speak. So crowding you on the bus, in line, in the elevator, what have you, isn't necessary polite or impolite, it's just not on their radar.

 

My theory, anyway.

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11 years 2 days ago
 
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As you said, the rules are different here. There is no actual personal space combined with a disregard for the presence and essence of those around you.

Halle already stopped by my place inquiring about honey so I'm afraid you need a new fantasy for the time being.

angel

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11 years 2 days ago
 
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Very different here. Personal space is not the same here as in the States or Puerto Rico.

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11 years 1 day ago
 
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It is like miles and miles far apart

The space you receive here maybe only for a year or so..

The space I get back home it's like forever and never alone

I get my space as I like it personal or otherwise

I like it when I'm reading a book or when I'm playing a game

Space is important it's the thing we cherish the most.

If you get cramped you'll soon be that person with too

little to share because there will be nothing left for you to 

give since there is no slack or space that is or will ever be there. 

mArtiAn:

  So where is back home for you Silva? Just asking because folks seem to think you're Chinese and pretending not to be. That doesn't bother me personally, it's a free.....well, it doesn't bother me; but people don't like to feel they're being had. Where are you actually from?

11 years 1 day ago
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Scandinavian:

it's been a while since the last which hunt on this site. bring out the wu-maos

11 years 1 day ago
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99Silva:

"witch" not which...lol and did you say you were a native speaker? Please tell me you didn't! broken heart

11 years 1 day ago
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Scandinavian:

I say a lot of things. I have never claimed to be a native speaker. (or typer if you will)

11 years 1 day ago
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11 years 1 day ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
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Shifu

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Damn good question because it's an issue that kind of bugs me  here. Bill8899 covers it basically saying that people here don't have an essence or can we say awareness of other people around them. We are taught to practise the basics of politeness such as holding open doors, moving to one side as you approach another person or group coming in the opposite direction, moving your arse out of the way in a supermarket aisle to allow someone to pass. As a result of what we would label outright rudeness back home we stoop to the same levels here in China when standing in a queue and not allowing others to jump in front of you, not holding doors open, hitting the "Close Doors" button on an elevator when you can see people making a beeline to get on board, dishing out a hip and shoulder to other shoppers in the supermarket who just will not move aside as you try to pass and let's hope we revert to basic politeness when we get back home because our adoption of the Chinese way is going to get us into a fight back home in some cases. And speaking of supermarkets I find it hard to get over the complete disregard shown to customers by staff who may be filling shelves or sweeping the floor and it's that non-awareness that adds to the frustration of other matters of personal space.

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11 years 1 day ago
 
Posts: 197

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My understanding of the concept of personal space in Chinese culture is that it is essentially just a lot shorter on account of Chinese culture developing in a very crowded country. So while it does exist it exists on a very different level from in the west.

 

Following with their traditional culture, many or most, see not reason to change when it comes to personal space. Foreigners will then simply need to either get used to the personal space or actively stay a bit further from the Chinese.

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10 years 50 weeks ago
 
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