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Q: How do other house-wives deal with having to ask for money?
This question is for the other wives out there who followed their hubbies here. Things have changed a lot for me since I've arrived. Suddenly, I find myself without a job here, and having to ask my husband for money. I take care of everything in the house, kids and I may try to find a job in the future (though that's not an option at the moment). Having always been financially independent, it's taken some used to having to ask for money. He's sometimes surprised at how often I ask for some, but probably doesn't realize things aren't as cheap as he expected here in Shanghai.
We've found a way around this, but it did create tensions at first. How have other couples dealt with this?
12 years 2 weeks ago in Money & Banking - China
I'm not a housewife, but househusband (maybe the situation is a bit different), but nonetheless let me share what we do.
Usually, we have a common bank account that my wife uses to put money in from time to time. With the bank card, I only buy things related to our daily life (food,...) or things for our child's entertainment (museum, park,).
If she needs to buy things for her or I need to buy things for myself, then we have our own bank account. I also often use my savings to keep up with the daily life here and to pay for the little extra for myself (cheese).
Back home, I was like you working and having my own financial independence, while here I lost both of them. Just have a speech with your husband and list (not all the complaints 
) but the average prices of daily commodities so that he can have a general idea about the prices. Don't forget, a man will never know the price of a bottle of milk, except if he needs to buy one by himself.
Cheers
Jíliú.hé:
my dad was a house husband to every time i take a hot shower my body turns red with healed scars. dads let you learn for your self.
Why would you not just have a joint bank account? You are married but the fact that you don't have one suggests some trust issues to me. Both people can see the statements and so the only debate should be about finding some common ground on spending/saving habits.
my dad would horse trade and work during the summers or when i was at school, a lot of house wives and dads have little things they do on the side to earn money and stay sane. find a hobby you like that you can make money doing. if the money is just for little thing you want for your self then a fun hobby should make you enough money. PS if your husband complains about it, or that he might have to do some of the house work, then tell him to give you your own bank account or to stop complaining about you wanting money.
I came here with my husband and I am not currently working. I did find it quite difficult to adapt. Asking for money wasn't an issue because my husband just gives me his bank card so I can withdraw whatever cash I need. He trusts me to spend it wisely!
The hardest thing for me is that I miss my independence and the challenge of my career. However, I believe that marriage is a life long partnership. Although he is the one working at the moment, in the past I worked while he went to college and in the future I will go back to work, so it all evens out in the end.
The most important thing is to keep talking. I think the experience of living in China can be quite different for a woman than a man. I have learnt that I can't expect my husband to guess how I am feeling, I do actually have to tell him!
