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Posts: 11

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Q: How do you know if you are burning out and just losing it in China?

I have been in china for 4 years. I have (and probably still have) anxiety disorders, OCD and depression. I am also very alturistic and have a very vivid imagination (think this could be a problem too). I thought I was ok but they just seem to be getting worse (especially the OCD) and I just feel on edge and ready to go crazy. I have also been making some bad judgements at work (usually bad jokes). The key issue is there is a stigma of having this stuff in Australia (why I resent Australia now) and in China (why I am starting to resent China). I have money, a classic car in Australia, 2 university degrees (doing number 3 now) but I am still not happy and I dont feel like I wil be happy anywhere. To make it worse, I am hesitating at finding a gf (I havent had one of them in a long time) because I feel that they will think I am weird. Girls I have met for dating have confirmed this.Any help you guys could give me would be great.    

11 years 21 weeks ago in  Health & Safety - China

 
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Posts: 2409

Emperor

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Okay...  Don't take this the wrong way, but in this case, I think the problem is more you than China.  If you have these issues, then you need to seek professional help to get them under control.  Otherwise, you won't be happy anywhere on the planet.

 

Granted, China can certainly enhance the power these conditions have over your life, but you still need to seek out professional help.  Or, as I said, you won't be happy anywhere on the planet.

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 186

Governor

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There's nothing wrong with OCD when it makes you a neat freak. Chinese girls LOVE neat freaks.  Now why are you depressed? Do you have a good reason for it? If could also be your diet, so be sure  to eat more saturated fats, as that will help you (but don't go overboard).

 

Find a girlfriend. For most people, life is extremely painful when you're lonely, and that could be WHY you're so depressed. I've met girls that said I was nucking futs, a complete and total whackjob, etc. And to be fair, I am -- just in a good way (it makes them laugh). Now if you're crazy in a bad way... that's different.

 

Now, as for the bad jokes, and judging by your post... please don't take this the wrong way... it honestly sounds like you're socially retarded. I've been there before, so I know what it's like. Heck, I still behave socially awkward sometimes, though I usually do it to make people laugh. You need more social interaction, and you need to learn from your failures and build on them. "Shit, I said/did something really stupid and everyone thought I was a damn idiot. I better not do that again..."

 

Just don't dwell on your failures. That will drive you crazy.

 

As for feeling like you're about to go crazy... yeah, China can do that to you. It sounds like you need a ladyfriend to keep you occupied, BUT... if, however, you think you're going to become a danger to yourself and others, you should go home and find some help. Screw the stigma; it's much worse to get help for this stuff in China than in Australia. Do you want to get repeatedly electrocuted and/or permanently deported?

 

Mental problems are stigmatized in America too... but at least we Americans get proper help. I assume you can get that in Australia too...

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
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in all seriousness you should leave china, for your own mental health. 

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1084

Shifu

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It seems you have came to China to escape your problems, but there is no running away. Your baggage will follow you.

 

It doesn't matter where you are in the world, if you have mental problems you need to face them!

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
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It seems to me that  you have chronic depression. This is why you cannot find happiness anywhere in spite of your accomplishments. This in turn, may even make you feel MORE guilty for having so many wonderful things (classic car, degrees, etc) and yet be unable to be happy.

Like said above, you really need to seek professional help. Someone who can help you find out why you feel the way you do.  Sometimes medication may be necessary until your brain "learns" to feel happy again while you find out what it is that keeps holding you back.

Good luck and All the best to you!

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2604

Shifu

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Well for starters everything that you mentioned indicates a burnout. If you created some type of depression and you say you have anxiety disorders without having ever been diagnosed than that's saying a lot. 

 

Try to go to a hospital get some psychiatric help maybe they can help you out. Maybe it's just the climate you could be homesick it could be a number of things. Just keep your head up and breath even though I understand the pollution can be making you feel groggy! Just relax go to the mountains do something spiritual for yourself. 

诸葛亮:

I look at this fool perpetrating like he understands China. Going to a hospital to get psychiatric help in China... as a foreigner... are you shitting me? I know this fool ain't serious.

11 years 21 weeks ago
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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5

Governor

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a chinese guy trolling, cant u see?

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4397

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  I can't help you mate, all I can say is i've been through the mill with psychological problems. In the end I decided, fuck it, what's so special about me that I should be happy and smiling like a Cheshire cat all the bleeding time? I don't mean to sound negative but this whole big search for happiness thing is kind of like a dog chasing its tail. And it's kind of indulgent. My guess is that Bob Marley was right, we're all in the same boat, rocking on the same rocks. I met someone in this country who'd suffered the worst punishment of anyone i'd ever met and it stretched out through her whole childhood. And she just keeps soldiering on with a smile on her face, 'cause there ain't no therapy groups here. If you think heading home and seeing a shrink is the way to go, then do it. But there's many many who don't have that option, who are doing juuuuust fine. You just gotta play the game and get on with it sometimes.

  The best of luck to you.

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3318

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Yiwei, I am also an OCD sufferer. I had great success overcoming it with cognitive therapy and medication. Would you like to talk? If so, PM me your email or skype or something. 

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11 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1

General

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It reminds me of how I seriously disliked the goings on here, been here for 4 years too, but then I'd meet trailer trash whom never seemed to have issues with 'China'.

If you come from a good home, you will struggle with some of the stuff here. No doubt about that ( for all the foreigners that don't know the difference - well their backgrounds must really suck ).

And for all the foreigners living in plush apartments in Shanghai living a western lifestyle- they don't have a clue about China - so you can disregard their comments already.

China is the most corrupt place on the planet, it permeates everything. That's the worst problem. 1. Deny it ( like most foreigners who gel their hair pretending they're so cool they didn't notice, pfffft ). or 2. Be rest assured, you are not alone.

My heart goes out you buddy.

Chin up. Soldier on. 

Xpat.John:

Wait...  If you come from a good background, you will have a hard time in China.  Unless that good background allows you to live a nice life in China, then you don't have a clue about the 'real' China.

 

But if you come from a good background and live a 'normal' life in China, you will know all and have a terrible time in China.

 

Sorry, I know you are new to this board, but that makes no sense at all.

11 years 20 weeks ago
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11 years 20 weeks ago
 
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