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Q: How do you respond to "you use chopsticks so well!"
I know they think they're complimenting me, but I seriously want to smack them.
I usually say that Japanese food is very popular back home, which is true, had it not been for a severe sushi-fetish in my younger years, I would not have survived in China past the first week.
"Well, I've been living in Asia for 6 years, and plenty of travels in Asia before that, so yeah, can't say I'm a beginner"
'I knew how to use kwaizi 10 years before I came to China!'.
Then, I explain I watched movie, where actor (B. Willis) was eating with chopsticks. It was interesting (to me), he was eating with one hand only. We usually eat with both hands.
I tell them, I practiced with 3 pencils, and I could pick one pencil from the floor using the other two.
Once heavy on baoiju, I pick 3 peanuts (out of shell) with kwaizi, and lift them up above my (upper) head.
They all started screaming: 'awesome' …I can't remember, what's Chinese word for that. But yes, they all agree 'I'm the master'….
Well, if they are genuinely being nice, I just disregard it. Because they get a little excited when I use my left-hand.
If it is because they are mocking me... sort of like... "Look at the monkey using our tools!", which they some of them do... then I quickly switch hands (I am ambidextrous) and start eating. I ask them if they can use both hands like a foreigner (they don't know we all aren't ambidextrous but probably still better than them with our lefts as it is beaten out of them).
This usually results in them trying and looking like a fool. Then they are embarrassed the monkey has learned to use their tools better than them which makes me satisfied.
royceH:
Hey I can do that too. And I do sometimes because, well...like you said, the cheeky buggers like to mock us at times. Left not as proficient as right but not too bad. Way better than the locals who do seen to get embarrassed.
Mateusz:
Heh, guess I'm not alone. I can use either hand, and even learned how to eat with two hands simultaneously (I figured that if they were going to compliment my "Mad chopstick skillz", might as well make them skillful.
I've never thought to claim that all Westerners are trained to use both hands, and that I'm shocked they can only use their right hands, like Western children. Need to start doing that...
gouxiong:
Just out of curiosity - what makes you pleased by embarassing other people? Saying this I think it's of course great if you can use both hands to handle chopsticks - I've never tried that but certainly will as I find it a great way to improve your hands and fingers motoric.
Robk:
@gouxiong - Not just "other people", people who tried to embarrass or mock me. Knocking people's ego down a peg or two is sometimes the best lesson you can give a person.
You make it sound like I was out to get them. I simply countered and won. It is a good skill though, worth developing.
Depends, a quick "xie xie" or just say I'd die of hunger if couldn't use them, as a joke. I don't know, I've never had anyone tell me that as hidden mockery.
you use a fork and spoon very well, not to mention a knife which are so prevalent here
royceH:
Chinese ppl trying to use a knife and fork.... Hahahahahaha.....now that's a night's entertainment!
I can usually say (truthfully) that I've been using them longer than they have.... I first tried using chopsticks when I was about 18 (after a Kendo/Iaijutsu (Japanese) class, we went to a Chinese restaurant... I'm sure you all know about 'multi-culturalism)... now about 25 years later, I have to use them regularly.
I so far never found a trouble with other people praising me for something - even though it can be a trivial thing - so far I never spotted a bad intention and I find it a good start of eventual conversation.
I find generally Chinese people apporach as very positive (even though it can be partly just pretended) and I believe it's a right way how to deal with everyday issues.
As per my experience the Chinese life is full of small compliments and Chinese believe that everything should be handled in a positive way and thus achieving and maintaining harmony.
Once there was a middle aged lady waiting for me in the elevator (quite unsual thing in my city) and when I told her thank you in Chinese so she complimented me on my Chinese skills. When I replied her in Chinese so she was very surprised saying: Ah, you really can speak Chinese!
These compliments are frequent and usually are not important what concerns of the content - I find them more the matter of style how Chinese people approach life.
Robk:
Yes, and that is usually true. Chinese just say these things to try and keep a nice conversation flowing. It does get kind of annoying after the 10 000 time (literally).
However, there are some instances that do not fall in to that category. They give the compliment with a tone and a look on their faces (and for some reason they think you can't read it) that is obviously anything but a compliment.
Some compliments are automatic pleasantries (like you speak Chinese very well), while others are patronizing and do have a malicious undertone. These are usually men (around middle age) that see you as a threat and try to compliment you on things that you are not so good at to bring out your weaknesses to others in a sort of polite way.
Even I did it once with one Chinese guy that was being very loud and obnoxious. He was very rude and kept forcing everyone to drink. I noticed he was wearing a matching watch and shirt as his wife when she came. I said in Chinese, oh that is very cute you are wearing the same clothes. His wife smiled happily, the other guys sort of smirked and he (the arrogant guy) was not pleased. Does that make sense now?
I fully agree with gouxiong on this one. The people who are trying to mock you will not be the ones praising your "chopstick skills", even if that compliment sounds kind of ridiculous. As gouxiong says, there is no hidden mockery in it - well, unless it is a loud remark from a jerk in a restaurant trying to be cool in front of his other jerk friends... Anyway, most of the time there is no hidden intention behind those compliments and I agree that this is just how many Chinese people socialize with foreigners.
How about "Thanks, you should see what I can do with my genitals!" ?
How about "Thanks, you should see what I can do with my genitals!" ?
