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Posts: 37

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Q: How long before he accept to meet parents?

BF wants my inside pants, so i said ok after he meets my parents. But he say he not ready. I'm not ready for sex with him, he's not ready for meet parents, but i have to give up? How long it take for Westerner to accept meet family?

12 years 33 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 36

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at least he is honest. do you like he or not? or you just boring. maybe he is boring in china..
you do not want to give up.. and maybe you never know what the hell does he want? you just want to make sure. he is serious or just have fun..
you will be unhappy with he, if you always think about it.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 36

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If a person really loves you. you know it..

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1084

Shifu

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He's not ready to marry you. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Meet your parents?!?!!? Haven't you been "together for a week?"

This isn't about westerners or cultural differences... What's wrong with you?

Would you REALLY take ANY guy to meet your parents after a week? Chinese or western?

You're either the greatest judge of character in the entire history of the human race or a naive idiot.

Three guesses which way I'm leaning...

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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2 weeks and you want to tell your parents you are getting married? have you had boy friends before or is this the first? The guy has told you weither you listen or not that he does not want to marry you. You don't really know this man, only what he looks like, it takes along time to get to know someone. People are not like dogs, dogs you can know in 5 minutes, people no way. .If I were you I would wait until you were married to have sex,,really. Then you will know the time is right, you will have your husband and the order of the universe will be restored,,, geest?

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 37

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what i wrong? he wants something, i want smthing too! i want parent approval, but he cant understand but want me to undrstand his need of sex. do u see no equality? and u go say i'm wrong, what if he wrong?

JackieChan:

use the back door

11 years 42 weeks ago
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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 164

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There's no right or wrong here. it's not about equality. It's about a need and want. If he does not want to meet your parent....he's clearly not ready for a serious commitment.

You question asks, when is a right time to take him to meet my parents?
In a western world, when two people in steady relationship, one would take him home for Christmas, Thanksgiving and parent's anniversary. Wink

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 97

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Vehru,

It really sounds like you and your boyfriend are trying to trick and trap each other. The real question would be: why are you so impatient he meet your parents? What will they think?

So soon in the relationship, what are you trying to do, scare the living daylights out of him?

It's normal for a guy to want in your pants, and if you're not ready, just tell him.

Your relationship doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Maybe you should ask yourself what you're looking for with this guy. Are you with him just because he's a foreigner? Sad

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Why are you chasing a foreigner? Foreigners are always going to have sex before meeting parents and getting married. Cultural difference. You can't force your culture on him. If you want to stick to your values, get away from this guy.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7

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You need parents approval? how old are you?

And dont tell me it is a cultural thing.... because it is clearly a case of you not being mature enough to have an adult relationship.

AgentC:

It IS a cultural thing and it's NOT immature to think about it.

 

Any long term relationship involves the parents unless you plan on running away to another country and not seeing the family again. She wants to both keep this man but does not want to lose her parent's respect, it is normal and rational.

 

If it gives some perspective I dated a non-Chinese girl and my parents found out and didn't approve. I still dated her anyway, but the lack of approval chipped away at our relationship until it broke. In other words lack of parental contributed to the failure of the relationship.

 

Now, girls want to feel secure before committing, she doesn't want a broken relationship, she wants it to workout. So you can't call her immature for wanting things to work out. In the end the answer is to know the consequences and make the choice one can live with it. You know yourself best afterall.

11 years 36 weeks ago
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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 226

Shifu

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Vehru.

My advice to you would be to sit down and have an honest conversation with your boyfriend, because your relationship isn't going to go anywhere if you keep lying and trying to trick each other. May as well burn the bridges now before you both end up making a mistake.

As previously said, foreigners almost always have sex before meeting the family or getting married, so the stunt you think you can pull, you can't.

Tell your Austrian stud he needs to go chasing tail elsewhere.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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My mom will pass out if I bring a foreign bf home.
I will let him meet my parents after we get married.

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Why would your parents 'pass out'?

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Parental approval?

You want to know if it's ok with your parents to have sex with a foreign guy... I can already guarantee their answer will be no, and you know it too, so why bother?

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12 years 33 weeks ago
 
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wenna7 , i have Sept 10 free, if you want to get married,, then speed up your inheritance

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 335

Shifu

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wenna's parents would pass out because she's so damn ugly that if she brought anyone home, be it man, woman or beast, her parents would be so surprised they'd cack their pants there and then, then swoon in disbelief.

Vehruoglan - you are an idiot and I hope whoever you are screwing around with breaks your heart into a million tiny pieces and it never gets put back together again. It's the least you deserve for being such a naive 'sha bi'.

Do everyone a favour and wait ten more years before you date another guy. Better still, start dating girls...

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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Ludovico, u know me so well!!!!!! U might be my soul mate!!!!

They don't like foreigners, they want me to marry a Chinese~ Not racist, but there is culture shock, gap a lot troubles. And they r so worried that I might to with one to his country, so they will not be able to see me that often, it's common and understandable.

hiddenjelly:

My wifes father had the same thoughts, once i met him and gained his confidence he was happy to let me marry his daughter!

11 years 20 weeks ago
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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1006

Shifu

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wenna7 I don't think you need to worry about foreigners wanting to marry you... I don't think you need to worry about ANYONE wanting to marry you... You're a text book CHINESE girl Narcissistic type! I'll give you a thumbs up though just because even the looser at the special Olympics get the thumbs up and I'm sure your parents were always at the finish line waiting for you and giving you the thumbs up!

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 37

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Njord, have u seen wenna in real? how can u judge her, you no know her! Wenna is nice and understand her country more than u, but you dont want understand. Its all about you you you, u think no culture shock because u think ur more important than Chinese girl but no, love is with men AND women, but u dont want adapt and think only for whats good for u and not her

Parent aproval is very important for traditionnal Chinese, why cant u understand?

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12 years 32 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1989

Peasant

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If I understand correctly, you will sleep with your guy the day he meets your parents...

Oh, he'll have to wait? Sounds like you're trying to trick him...

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 11

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you already have a man, vehruoglan. you should be happy as it is. I'm looking for a mate, it's been a long time, all the men i meet talks to me about motorboating or offering me a pearl necklace, they even try and talk about USA even though I'm latina, they talk about Cleaveland and steamer buns, but so far i got nothing....

take what you can get and be happy with that you have, girl!

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
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LeepauSution,
I don't think you fully understand what he means when he says he wants to give you a pearl necklace or motorboating Laughing out loud ....do some homework, and as for the steamers, I think if you do some additional research, you will find he is talking about a Cleveland Steamer...which is something you most definitely want to understand before you engage in......GL....too funny!

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 11

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likmysak... thank you for the warning. i checked and omg! and here i thought Chinese men were all talk trying to show off their money but alas! all they wanted is to engage is weird sexual behaviors... this is depressing really :(

Is there any prince charming still alive and not yet corrupted?

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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I'm gonna meet the parents the first week, (probably) take them out to dinner, bring them gifts, then if things aren't going well I'll just slip out and leave before the desert and bill comes.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3318

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"Parental approval???!"

"Mom, this is Jim, can I have sex with him?"

As if.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
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