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Q: How's a foreign girl supposed to find a non-sleazy boyfriend in China?
Say what you will, but for us foreign ladeez, finding a good, reliable guy is next to impossible. It's easy to land a one night stand or fling (especially with sleazy foreign guys you meet at clubs) but most of them aren't reliable or even interested in something serious.There's also a lot of interest by Chinese men (usually in a kind of perverted way) but again, they just want you to be their mistress or arm candy to show off to friends. What's a lonely girl to do here?
11 years 33 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Post your real picture and see who asks you out.
Lolitta2:
And this comes from a man who chooses a cat as his profile picture. Nice!
TedDBayer:
My original pic was me, then my dog, then the Mad Max Maniac, now the real TedDBayer,,long ago I always used the name Cisco, which was my biggest cat, but he died. Why don't you like cats?
I really feel for the foreign ladies here in China. Many western men look down upon them for a variety of reasons, most of which seem to exist only in their minds. Many Chinese men are intimidated by them (from "stories" they have heard or seen in the movies, etc.) In addition, many are approached by men who treat them as "rentable night partners" or infer that they are lose or desperate.
Foreign women here really have it rough!
It isn't next to impossible. You aren't looking hard enough. There are nice foreign guys out there.
!!!!!!
i am serious about this..........the chances are not that good.so i suggest leaving the country.........i am totally serious.......no jokes...........good luck
Not all the people will think in that way. I have heard romantic love stories about foreign girl and chinese guy. At the end, they have a happy marriage. Lolitta, just do not give up.
You will find the one
My chinese girlfriend has a friend who is a guy that is looking for a foreign girlfriend.
Alas, I'm afraid he's really looking for is "face" rather than having a serious long-term relationship. I think the reality is that a lot of Chinese men expect their wives to do all the laundry, house cleaning and cooking. I spent my whole life in the USA and I never met a girl who would do all that without complaint. Ironically, I came to China and my Chinese girlfriend runs a business so I end up doing all the laundry, house cleaning and bringing home take-out (da bao) food.
I agree that you foreign women have it very difficult to find a decent mate here, but keep in mind that nothing is impossible. Good luck, be careful, and take good care of yourselves..
well it really depends where you look, my advice is dont look for a guy in the night club, chinese people may think going to a night club is just a fun thing to do with friends, but a lot of westerners have other things in mind when going to a club,and im sure you can find a lot of decent chinese guys around( the younger lot i mean) they will tend to have things in common with you and are more open minded and willing to learn something new.
im sure you can find decent western guys, dont give up and i dont advise you leave the country just to find a guy, your just looking in the wrong places, make some new friends, who know you might end up liking one of them. not everything has to be upfront and direct
I guess that "I'm so much better than all the men I meet" attitude doesn't work in China, eh?
I feel sorry for alot of the foreign women here, but not the snotty ones who suddenly get no attention because men here aren't willing to put up with their attitude and arrogance.
It's nice to watch them squirm.
This response is so not going to make me popular but honestly, for the little time I've been here I've found that most people's relationship problems don't start out in China. People treat you how to teach them to treat you... I would say be patient and dont settle for less just because you're lonely, if you've always had a good moral compass then do the same things here and you'll get the same results
"sleazy foreign guys you meet at clubs"
"foreign guys you meet at clubs"
"guys you meet at clubs"
"meet at clubs"
"CLUBS"
There's your problem.
MissA:
I agree - but, in fairness to the OP, she says finding sleazy guys at clubs is something that's easy (not a shock to many women), not something that she's interested in.
Good luck! 
It is possible, just look in the right places
I guess this is the typical case of the incomplete information case involved in a relationship. and it might be better to know someone from the internet,on which you can talk to him without too much interpersonal contact. and as time passes by,you will know if he is the one.
l want see you `
mArtiAn:
Haha, there you go Lolitta, this guy doesn't sound sleazy at all!
A woman's work is never done. Maybe they're just lazy (JOKE!). But finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack and the hardest job for any woman. At the end of the day you're gonna be stuck with someone who's trying his best, at best. Westerners marry later and later in life, but cheat less. Chinese guys marry earlier, and (possibly) cheat more.
My advice: become a lesbian.
The same way they find a non-sleazy boyfriend anywhere. Franck3
maybe better off chatting with old friends from your home country and bring them here to teach and when you get a good one, dont let him out of your sight when he gets here.
MissA:
Ha. That's pretty much me - I taught in Asia, moved to the UK and then brought my British boyfriend to China to teach. He hated China life, so it backfired pretty epically.
As for the "don't let him out of your sight", well, he's definitely a good one and the Chinese girls chased the poor boy mercilessly, but he had no interest whatsoever. It annoyed the crap out of me at first, after a few months I'd just sit back and laugh....
ambivalentmace:
smart lady miss a , to bad im already in the holy deadlock situation, good luck
Go to places that you will unlikely meet sleazy people. Ever try going to church or some place quiet like a library? Whatever you do don't try to get picked up by a drunkard that only cares about himself and his alcohol. Find someone with real values that takes life serious. First think about a place that is as far away as the bar scene as possible and then and only then will you find yourself heading toward the right direction in life.
I've lived here for 5 years and yes, Chinese guys only want to show off in front of their friends: Look I got a car, a flat and a foreign girlfriend. I'm cool.
Bastards.
mattsm84:
The first time I read that I thought you said a flat foreign girl friend. But then I realized that that kinda misses the point of having a foreign girlfriend in the first place.
I met my boyfriend of 2 years online, which I never would have tried if I hadn't been bored to death in a small city. Try the QQ personals, lots of nice guys who speak English. I found mine on something like "Asia friend finder"...he was the only guy in the area with an English profile and he turned out to be amazing! You could also join Couchsurfing and go to the community events, maybe you can meet some nice people there who can point you in the right direction! Just keep in mind that a lot of nice Chinese men are under pressure to get married!
My Chinese friends were like "please consider to get a Shanghainese guy, they are obedient, loyal, kind, good boy, good husband...etc". And yes, they are! Come to Shanghai please, the Shanghainese guys will treat you like a queen!
Nessquick:
As I know , Shanghainese mens need to do every house work, except caring of baby, on beside of money making. yeah, they are kind of perfect husbands... 
Look for a nerdy Chinese guy that doesn't have many, if any friends. Look for that guy that society seems to have forgotten. He likely doesn't care about the same things most other Chinese care about.
Try this: Meet your boyfriend in a library instead of a bar.
