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Q: I am so sick with Chinese money culture!
My nephew is only 5 years and half, and my parents and my sisters are spoiling him. Tonight is the Spring Festival eve and it's the time to give this little guy hongbao due to the Chinese money culture. I feel sick of it for giving out hongbao as I think it will make the child become greedy and I already bought him gifts. But if I don't give out hongbao, I am sure my fami
ly will be so unhappy about me and might start complaining about me from time to time. So I gave out 500rmb to this little guy as hongbao. Then 10 minutes after he got hongbao from me, he came to show me all his hongbao from me and my parents and my two sisters, it's 3500rmb in total. I am shocked, is it necessary? Seriously?
I used to tell my parents it's a bad thing to give the child money, they got mad at me. And my Chinese friend also don't agree with my value. Obviously that I am not someone from their world. I can't choose my family but maybe I shouldn't be friends with Chinese.
The little guy told me that he wouldn't like me if I don't give him money. Obviously the child has become greedy. I feel sad about the bad family education and I can't do anything about it.
Did you gift hongbao to your Chinese nephews or niece? Did you allow your own child to take hongbao from your Chinese relatives?
What, is that to say all this communism malarkey is China isn't real then? My oh my, there was me all along thinking it was a kind of utopia based on shared wealth and prosperity. I am so shocked hearing things about greed and selfishness in Chinese society. I guess this sand that my head has been in is affecting my perceptions. Oh well. 
October1st:
you are having the positive mind and I agree. To Give and Receive is the essence of our human life. If you disagree with this blessing culture, think of another way to celebrate it. The key is that you have fun, you are willing, and you bring the fun and good wishes to others.
To become greedy with this Hongbao culture is another topic. I celebrated the CNY in Thailand this year. It was great to think about other people and enjoyed the holiday together. When I came back, the city looks so cold and cheerless. Maybe, the families are smoldering inside and counting the Hongbao numbers :D:D:D
Kaiwen:
I was thinking more sarcasm attack than positive thinking, to be honest.
What, is that to say all this communism malarkey is China isn't real then? My oh my, there was me all along thinking it was a kind of utopia based on shared wealth and prosperity. I am so shocked hearing things about greed and selfishness in Chinese society. I guess this sand that my head has been in is affecting my perceptions. Oh well.
October1st:
you are having the positive mind and I agree. To Give and Receive is the essence of our human life. If you disagree with this blessing culture, think of another way to celebrate it. The key is that you have fun, you are willing, and you bring the fun and good wishes to others.
To become greedy with this Hongbao culture is another topic. I celebrated the CNY in Thailand this year. It was great to think about other people and enjoyed the holiday together. When I came back, the city looks so cold and cheerless. Maybe, the families are smoldering inside and counting the Hongbao numbers :D:D:D
Kaiwen:
I was thinking more sarcasm attack than positive thinking, to be honest.
next year buy 500 rmb of stock in china mobil or china unicom, so it grows in value for his college education, tell him you love him and want him to be able to afford college and not waste the money on a house for a useless gf or a computer game. in other words, lie to the spoiled little piece of crap.
Viki87:
Then my whole family will annoy me a lot and complain about me.
Thats why I threw 500rmb to get myself out of those shits. I already gave up this child.
Everytime I was trying to educate him, his mom(my sister) and my parents and my little sister are all mad at me and they think I am being mean and not treat the child well. This child is gotta rotten. He's a clever child but sadly grow up in a shallow family.
My Dad gave the child beer to drink, but not much, still I don't think it's good.
The child want real sword to play and my family gave him.
My mom always taught the child to spit to people who criticized him while joking with him. Now the child would spit on me while getting mad at me. It's the most thing I hate in this child.
The family would criticize me for not buying enough good snacks or gifts to the child. I am so sick of it.
And I spent a lot of money buying business books wrote by Trump, my sister throught that I am crazy for spending so much money on buying expensive books.
I try to not communicate with them for child education, otherwise they will start against me. They are my family, I can't choose. They love me but just shallow in mind.
cub:
@viki, avoid your family like the PLAGUE then, and save yourself some grief ok? Sounds like the BS your family shovel at u they are not worth the aggravation! Why torture yourself?
philbravery:
Cub ...i understand what you are saying and don't disagree with you. However who else does she have ? The poor girl is a foreigner in a Chinese body and family as fucked up as a family can be ...they are her family. Ive given Vicki a lot of shit over the years but it doesn't mean i don't hope she gets the life she is looking for
retiredinchina:
i bought stock in realty income "o", stock symbol "o" for my stepdaughters when they were young and it paid for college 15 years later. i doubt you have good options like this in china though.
cub:
@phil, i know, i know ok? i can forgive a person or people 1 time or maybe 2 times if they have wronged me by words or actions like in vikies case her family but there is a limit of abuse i wont tollerate. i deserve better and i know nobodys perfect but it becomes a bad habit to keep going back to getting dumped on and abused by family even if it means being alone ok?
What does that have anything to do with Chinese culture?
It's just YOUR shitty family Viki.
Suck it up coz my family never asks money from me and they have no expectations either.
I don't care if you hate your family, but if you think all Chinese is as shitty as you are, then I have a problem.
Englteachted:
You know absolutely nothing about Chinese culture. And spending money to buy fake money for the dead and then burning it is just her family?
SpongeBob:
I can't really speak for all the Chinese,It is true that some people burn fake money for the dead.But I'm sure it's not just a Chinese thing. People everywhere would do all sort of ceremonies to remember the dead and I'm sure a lot of them are absurd. How about buying flowers for the dead in the western countries? But dead people don't have expectations,So I say it's different because Vicky were talking about people who are alive having all the expectations of her giving the money and I think that's a totally different issue.
Robk:
Nope, this is very common.
During my Spring Festival I saw kids with stacks fatter than pimps back in LA.
It is out of control.
I have a half Chinese son and we were here for the Spring Festival. I think my son got like 5000RMB and about 500 Australian dollars worth of gold.
My baby is 1 year old... Can't you just get him a book or something.
My wifes parents seemed to be unhappy with his hongbao too... Since they gave the other kids more..
Viki87:
If you ain't happy about the money gift, why you allow your son to take the 5000rmb hongbao? 5000rmb can be a Chinese one month salary.
Ollyren:
I said my wifes parents didn't seem happy not me. Also, have you tried refusing gifts? Doesn't work
Viki87:
My mom just gifted me 2000rmb. I decide to put back secrectly when the day I go back to Shanghai.
If you don't want to take the money. I am sure there's always the way. If my parents give my child money as gift. I'd walk to my mom and told her I appreciate the monry but I have my way to educate my child and I don't think gift money is healthy for my child education and please tell your money back and respect my way of educating.
You are not the only one who is sick with PRC's money cult, plenty worldwide can see that crystal clear, and equally if not more disgusted. This includes Peter Navarro, Donald Trump's key China advisor. Your view ---- education is the answer, is also the same as the author of Psychopaths have perverted capitalism article, a new thread I started just now.
Your solution looks like this ---- "I am disgusted. I give up. Give the kid what he / his parents (generally speaking, society) wants, RMB 500". I bet plenty are like you. Unfortunately, that means perpetuating and nurturing the growth of this psychopathic, spiritual-less, money cult, infinitely.
cub:
yes, ''the love of money is the root of all evil'' The amazing thing is that all the wealth and money u make cheat or own wont do u any good after u die being u cant take it with u after death!
earthizen:
This is the meaning of dust to dust, earth to earth, nothing physical you can carry on board your final flight; they are earth's property. There is something non-physical you take with you whether you like it or not though, memories, karma. There is more to the sow and ye shalt reap saying. That book is the remnants, bits and pieces of what are left, as are many other books. Some called this a game, a sick game.
Viki87, next time I think you can do as you think you are correct, if it was not wrong. :-) If you have to give it out, dwindle down the number of RMB hahaha... I saw someone going to bank cashier changing for 200 pieces of RMB1...and I know that was definitely going for packing up Hongbaos...
Not just about the money culture. My relative just bothers me non-stop. You are old, you should go find a bf. Then I said I have bf(I lied), then said you should go get married soon.
I think they are not polite.
And told me that I am getting fat(I think that's really a rude remark as we aren't even close, and my ex-bf from the US didn't even think I am fat, of course I am fat compared to skinny Chinese girls, but I don't want to be skinny like my old sister). My old sister criticized me for wrapping my scarf on my head that I don't look like Han people(What's her problem to judge me around? Why being a non Han people is not nice?)
And my family kept annoying me and saying my ass is too big and too ugly. Every year they said this and I hate they are being so annoying. And many guys like round bubble ass even though some didn't. Then my annoying family just don't leave me alone and see me in an open minded way. They kept saying no people think my round bubble ass is nice, that's so close minded to think that way when they don't think something is pretty). The most annoying thing is my old sister even laughed at my bubble ass. What's her life issue? I personally don't find brown man attractive, but I am sure there are many women find brown men so sexy. Even I can hold a more open minded view, why can they so close minded and judgemental?
I think I have told in an old post that my mom feels humiliated for taking me out unless I don't wear tight dress. Because she told my bubble round ass is ugly. The way she thinks made me sick.
I told my parents that my throat has infection(I have coughed for 6 monthes, and doctor told me to have food limitation)that I can't eat seafood and pepper and ginger, They put ginger and seafood in pretty much every dish they cook, why is that so hard to communicate that I can't eat ginger and seafood?
I feel I am from a diffrent planet.
SpongeBob:
Viki87:
Miko, it's you showed me girls with foreign husband and asking me if they are pretty.
You never said sorry, you are the type of people never apologize.
SpongeBob:
Ok, it's your state of mind that really matters. No matter where you are, if you are not happy with yourself, you just won't be happy even if you marry to a white man.
Viki, I feel bad for you. You are the one of the Chinese that has a huge identity crisis. One half of you thinks you are Chinese and should follow Chinese tradition. The other half is open-minded and wants to explore and learn new ideals. These two parts of you fight most likely non-stop and cause you a lot of grief.
Your family are pretty much traditional Chinese that follow the social norms. They don't think for themselves and seem to enjoy bullying others (ALSO a social normalcy) .
The only solution is to chose and really embrace one side of your personality and try to remove yourself from the other. I highly suggest the open-minded side for a happier and more fulfilling life. You should get out of China for a while and if I were you, I would stay away from your family for a long-time.
The money thing is common in China... it is wrong but they think it is normal and gains them face. Spoiled children will ruin this society and other societies abroad as they are doing now.
Viki87:
I just visit my family 4 times in a year. You are so right about me, I have two sides of me fighting inside of me.
They are annoying, but they are still family, I can't stop seeing them for a long time, I love them.
Many of my closer Chinese friends are like Viki. They gravitate towards Westerners because they have woken up to the reality of Chinese "society" and anti-culture. Yet most of them still express a latent anti-foreign sentiment which seeps through in their conversations with me. They are truly stuck between two worlds and i can see no escape for them.
Viki87:
Lol I know the type of Chinese. But you aren't really read me well.
"Yet most of them still express a latent anti-foreign sentiment which seeps through in their conversations with me." That's nothing have to do with me.
I'd just put it in the bank and be thankful he has a family who loves him.
