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Q: I wonder why all the guys I dated never gifted me roses?
I really like roses, but all the guys I dated gifted me roses. All the time, I have to buy roses by myself. That's sad.
They would buy me food, clothes.,etc. but never a rose.
Is the younger generation less romantic? Or romantic in a different way?
I know roses used to be a big thing... perhaps it's just not as meaningful anymore...???
Blondie_:
no, most adult women i know, myself included, don't expect, need, or in some cases want flowers from their significant other.
women who expect such gifts is probably stuck in the Disney idea or 'romance' sold to them if their movie diet dosn't involve reflection and thought and consideration.
by the time we reach adolescence we realize that 'romance' is a contrived way of selling crap to the lazy and superficial (see Valentines day)
thoughtful gestures from your significant other are always welcome - who doesn't like flowers?, but they are more impactful and 'romantic' if they involve something that is more personal
i can't remember my dad ever buying my mom flowers, but it is obvious to see they care a lot for each other thought small thoughtful gestures and behaviors.
Shining_brow:
I totally agree... I found, one of the most 'romantic'' things I could do was to cook.
RandomGuy:
Romanticism is part of these traditional values that strong and independent women seem to reject nowadays because it objectifies them and makes them appear weak. Equality is what they asked for and they got it. You are either modern or traditional to the end, no cherry picking. What's to be romantic about a woman who has had so many casual encounters she lost count.
I don't know about everyone and all countries, but in the US giving a girl red roses used to be a big deal. Not quite up there with proposing marriage, but darn near. A guy only gave red roses to the lady that he was really in love with and wanted things to be pretty darn serious between them.
Why some guys never gifted you with them, who knows? Maybe they think it was too big a step, or maybe they just don't know anything about giving flowers? Did they do other romantic things for you? I guess you said they took you out for dinner and some bought you other types of gifts.
Viki87:
What are you talking about? I am just saying my ex are Americans. You don't comment logically.
BHGAL:
my father in law told me it was a stupid waste of money, to buy and give her flowers
Viki87:
Can't always consider everything a waste of money.
Roses die after a week or two. But I still like to spend 15rmb to buy a rose to put in my room. I Iove red rose, it's the color of passion, love and romance. Everyday when I get back to home from work, it gives me a relief.
Now I finally got a single apartment, I may buy more flowers.
retiredinchina:
waste of money, there is a wholesale flower market in every city in China, not the little retail shops, they sell a pack of 20 not by the dozen for 3 rmb each, so i buy a pack of 20 for 60 rmb, if it is around a holiday like mothers day, they charge 5 rmb each, not a lot of money,
Also, you never give roses on mothers day or valentines day, it appears you are doing it out of duty with the hope of getting laid, rather give them when there in no reason at all and get laid every day.
Life is good if you use the top head to think and not the bottom one.
retiredinchina:
if you want every lady at your office treating you like a king, go to the wholesale market around the chinese valentines day in late july or august, the date changes every year with the lunar calendar, and buy a single rose for every lady in the office, even the old cleaning lady, and you will never have a problem at the office again. A great investment for 3 rmb a piece, not to mention pissing off all of their boyfriends and husbands when they yell at them for not buying them a rose and they had to get one from the laowei.
I gave roses..I'm American..I was treated worse than chinese boys
Viki87:
Like giving out roses on first or second date? How did you get treated badly?
Hehehe, I treated my American boyfriend nice, he bought me meal, I gifted him snacks.
I believe in relationship, you can't just take without giving. He's been disappearing for many days now. Oh well, but at least I treated him well even if it doesn't work out.
seansarto:
I'd be dating them..things would be going along nicely..it would seem like we looked forward to hearing and seeing each other every chance we'd get...we'd have intimacy..I'd buy gifts (they rarely did)...I'd meet her parents...I'd tell her I was interested in a long-term commitment...then she'd disappear..stop communicating with me and act like she scorned me...and never give a reason nor would I have given her one..or just blatantly lie..I'd usually find then that she had a chinese boy she was nurturing on the side all along..This happened more than once with almost comical accuracy.
It was always orchestrated to give the chinese boy the impression that she gave up something that was valuable for their sakes because we all know the perception of foreign men that is cultivated...big ego boost for the chinese boy...humiliation for the foreign man....in other words my relationships as an American with Chinese women resembled the Paris Climate Change Treaty...plenty of concessions from the Americans and none from the chineseViki87:
Fruit tea and vegetable roll, ordered online then delivered to him. He was very happy to receive the snacks surpringly.
If the second date has roses than he is in love.
Viki87:
Hehehe, now I don't expect roses from my date anymore. Giving out roses seem like a big thing for most American.
Is the younger generation less romantic? Or romantic in a different way?
I know roses used to be a big thing... perhaps it's just not as meaningful anymore...???
Blondie_:
no, most adult women i know, myself included, don't expect, need, or in some cases want flowers from their significant other.
women who expect such gifts is probably stuck in the Disney idea or 'romance' sold to them if their movie diet dosn't involve reflection and thought and consideration.
by the time we reach adolescence we realize that 'romance' is a contrived way of selling crap to the lazy and superficial (see Valentines day)
thoughtful gestures from your significant other are always welcome - who doesn't like flowers?, but they are more impactful and 'romantic' if they involve something that is more personal
i can't remember my dad ever buying my mom flowers, but it is obvious to see they care a lot for each other thought small thoughtful gestures and behaviors.
Shining_brow:
I totally agree... I found, one of the most 'romantic'' things I could do was to cook.
RandomGuy:
Romanticism is part of these traditional values that strong and independent women seem to reject nowadays because it objectifies them and makes them appear weak. Equality is what they asked for and they got it. You are either modern or traditional to the end, no cherry picking. What's to be romantic about a woman who has had so many casual encounters she lost count.
I 'know' why no roses ... but, I won't say it ....! 
My mom's up today .... 
I have to contain myself! 
i find most Chinese girls and women never evolve beyond the Disney definition of 'romantic' where life is all 'happy endings' (no pun intended), flowers and songs (and loads of superficial gifts).
the late Mr B didn't need to give me flowers, chocolates or other such crap, and he knew it.
it is the small personal gestures that are the most 'romantic' (ugh - terrible word) that show a caring knowledge of the other, and they more often than not don't involve money but time and thought.
the most romantic thing he did was arrive home with fresh ginger one winter when i had flu after having spent hours doing food shopping, in shitty weather, for us both, and making dinner for me.
if you are a woman, or man, that requires the constant reassurance of gifts such as flowers from your special someone, then there is little trust in the relationship or it is just superficial.
you like roses?
then buy them yourself already and don't be so cheap to expect a three-week 'boyfriend' to do it.
Viki87:
You sound superficial and naive.
It's nothing wrong for a man to gift rose to the lady likes roses for showing affection.
Blondie_:
viki viki viki
PLEASE tell me how i am superficial when i don't like or need gifts from my significant other - and my significant other knows that.
I suggest you invest in a dictionary, read what i wrote and re-write my words using your own to show you understood.
you are just hilarious!
Hotwater:
Blondie...you're wasting your time with Vicky...she has no idea what those words mean!
Shining_brow:
Pot calling the crockery black!
@Blondie - I think it comes down to the word you used in your second paragraph - 'need'. I don't want to be with a woman who only 'needs' flowers (chocolates, etc) to understand my affection/love for her.
Just like I don't want to 'need' to be with her... but 'want' to. (I am very independent).
As you said (mostly) - if the person is happy with just roses and chocolates, then she's pretty shallow (or easily pleased - which may be the same thing!). I'd more expect intelligent conversation, both people who can cook, etc etc.
But - roses and chocolates are also nice as a surprise, and for no reason at all! (but, it's the surprise that makes it special, not the actual gift).
The most precious gift you give in a relationship is your time and trust in another person..it is life and is too precious to be wasted and is your responsibility to invest
diverdude1:
yes, time and the offer to Bump uglies with the One-Eyed Trouser Snake ~
when i presented my wife flowers, she just ask me how much it was and tell me not do waste money for this crap
iWolf:
lol...the first time i bought my now wife flowers she beat me with them for wasting money. Clearly a keeper.
Viki87:
Why your wife always concern about money? I don't, to me life isn't just about money.
I decorate my apartment with flowers, I buy flowers every month.
And I put rose oil in my bedroom, it smells good. I have pictures displayed in my room.
Those things brought happiness to me, so they are dear, not craps.
I buy red wine to display in my apartment too, now my house look so cool. .
still at it Vicki ? roses would be for a long time, very deep love affair
Oh
Iphone X is the new red rose 
As a matter of interest viki, would you go for 8 or X?
I think its a bit of a marketing blunder. Think back to the Iphone 5 and 5c.
Hotwater:
Most Chinese will wait till next year to buy the iPhone Xi dada...
Viki87:
I do not care about phone that much. A cheap phone is enough to make calls, send messages and tale pictures and I can put Chinese and foreign sim card in.
Rose presents classy, romantic, I want rose.icnif77:
Did you know it's cheaper to fly from Delhi to HK and purchase i-X than stay in India and get it there?
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-09-13/iphone-x-so-expensive-india-you-can-fly-hong-kong-buy-it-come-back-and-save-money
