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Q: Is it normal to have sex to test before start dating each other?
Question 1:Some European guys told me they won't start dating with a girl without having sex with her first to see if the sex match.Is that true in Europe?
Question 2:Another European guy told me that they will date first then have sex latter.But he told me no man will commit to the woman he is dating without having sex to know if each other would match.Is this true?A German guy told me if a man said he would commit to a serious relationship when the sex is not good is a liar.
Guys,now I think the first question is pointless,lets answer the second question.
the view about sex is different with different cultures, girls, countries and people. sex depends on your mood and ability of doing it properly and correctly. you do not know whether the girl you are dating is a pro in bed or not and what kind of sex a boy or girl likes, every men and women has their own style to pursue and indulge in it.
everyone do sex with whoever they are dating whether its one-night-stand or long-term relationship. but by saying this that they will not continue to date if her sex is not good seem an excuse for me to get rid off the girl fast and easily. new trick to dump and lurch fast
Question:
were either you or the guys drunk?
if you actually believed them, you are more naive than a day old kitten.
They probably said that to you because they thought you would believe them and came across as easy .
Your apparent desperation to hook up with a foreign guy will lead to bad decisions if you don't hold back and take your time getting to know a guy first - over weeks/months, not hours.
sorrel:
if you were in a bar, either you or the guys were drunk, or both.
meeting guys in a bar is not a good idea
OMG. If you aren't Victoria, you too would make excellent friends. Probably just that loser with more time on his hands than good again though.
It is not true. That's pointless... these guys don't know how to please a woman, so they're looking for someone who's very easy to please without any effort. That's why they're still alone, lol.
Another European guy told me that they will date first then have sex latter.But he told me no man will start the commited relationship without having sex to know if each other would match.Is this true?
sorrel:
Can you answer these questions?
Where did you meet these guys?
Did you meet them in a bar?
if so, you are going to the wrong place to meet good guys - from any country.
any guy who talks about sex soon after meeting you is probably only looking for a one-night-stand.
Think about how you present yourself to them - you are probably coming across as desperate, (you sounded a bit desperate in one of your previous posts), so they probably think you are easy.
Bravelife:
Answer the second question.We are not drunk and we did not meet in a bar.One guy said no man will committed to a woman if the sex is not good ,if a man said yes,usually he is a liar.My European friend also told me the same.So guess the second might be true?
Spiderboenz:
I was in a committed relationship for over 2 years with a woman who was physically incapable of sex, so no, that is not true.
sm90:
Sorrel - why do you say bars are the wrong place to meet people? Surely you go to bars, as most people do. And I would assume that you believe yourself to be a nice person, as do I.
Therefore, nice people do go to bars?
Spiderboenz:
sm, in a bar, people drink alcohol. They become drunk, which leads to impaired judgement, which leads to bad decisions.
sm90:
I get you, but you can't say that meeting people in bars is a bad idea on the whole. Not everyone in a bar is drunk making bad decisions, and there is no need to judge someone for meeting someone in a bar.
maggiegirly:
sex is part of a healthy relationship but if that relationship is centered on lust more than love,it probably won't last long.cause there's more things to concerned about .like common interests,life value and etc
There's no rush ,get to know each other first and see how it goes.
xinyuren:
I vowed to only observe this train wreck, but I can't watch someone possible lead anyone down the wrong way. She has enough problems so...
@sm90: Yes, she can meet people at bars. She can also meet people at morgues. She can meet people as they come into or exit message parlors. She can people meet at a middle school, for that matter. This is not in question. The question is, what are the chances of her meeting a suitable partner in these places? What are the chances of her having a meaningful conversation in these places and is it worth her time to go there fishing? There is no judgment against anyone for going to a bar. There is a suitable time and place for everything. Trying to find a relationship in a bar is not a high percentage gamble. Bars are places for getting drunk, one night hookups and generally having a good time. I think Vicky is looking for more than that.
sm90:
That does seem to be the question though. Also, how can you compare meeting people in bars to morgues?! There is so much judgement in that. Either way, I think the question has been answers by other users by now.
Goodness! And you have doubts? Whoever told you that just wanted to get laid. If you can't get along chatting do you think you still want to be tested? Don't be naive, tell them to go jump! Cheap thrill!
Your joking, Right!
Question 1: *NO*, there's no "test drive" in Europe. Only an insecure loser desperate for sex would use this kind of bully arguments.
Question 2: Depends on the people involved, there's no rules. I know people who committed to each other after a casual sex period, and some who were committed to each other from day 1 and had sex later.
I would say, don't see sex as something to offer to get something in exchange. Take it as a moment to enjoy, like a good drink or a good meal, not as a token. You can skip a good meal if it's too much trouble, same goes with sex. You don't have to eat that specific meal if it does not sound good to you, same goes with sex.
Bravelife:
hahhaha...I would rather to marry someone who is good at sex if possible.But can make compromise if the personality is match.
This has got to be one of the lamest pick up lines I have ever heard albeit cloaked in a cultural context. "Everybody does it in Europe so you should too."
You'd have to be a moron to fall for this.
She still makes the boys and girls jump up and down over her dumb questions.
Don't feed the trolls
She is not going to thank you in any way.
xinyuren:
I wouldn't be so sure. Noticed how quickly she came back? Almost like a puppy who comes back to the owner after it's been punished? She's got problems, no doubt. But she wants to improve herself and she keeps trying. She might just learn something. Either way, it's fun to watch. Win/Win!
The dating IS the testdrive. and sex during dating, well, that is a nice option isn't it.
Don't do anything you are not comfortable with "just because someone else is doing it" A guy shouldn't pressure you to cross your personal boundaries.
Almost:
Cultures are extremely diverse in Europe and Asia. What applies in Europe does not apply in China from my experience here. Although I must say it is extremely easy to hook up with sex partners equally in Italy and China with partners that are curious about foreign lovers.
I must say, this board's attitude has changed (for the better, IMO) since this question was last asked. Could it be maturity? How many of us have gotten married within the last 2 or 3 years? Or perhaps it's due to the usual turnover. All I can say is bravo. Last time this topic was broached here, I was a little sickened by some of the answers. It takes a village to raise a child. I'm glad the adults came out today to answer this question for our echinacities child. I want to be entertained, but also want to do no harm.
About sex, Vicky. Stick to your guns. If you and a guy can't agree about sex (meaning he won't wait until you're ready) then that's the best indication that you need to drop him and move on. Scandi said it best. Dating is the testdrive, not necessarily sex. And sex before dating??? That's another way of saying "one night sex".
Hulk's thread got 'carbonized'
, just after I wrote lengthy and thoughtful reply there. Here we go:
Women and men are not thoroughly equal, because of our physiological differences.
After
long 'analysis', I came to the conclusion......:
"Women and men will be thoroughly equal, when 7 women will (be able to) pee in a cup in the middle of the room (in the same time), same as 7 men can (do it)"
You be trolling
icnif77:
'kiss my aura, Dora'
'ummmh, it's real Angora'
'would you like some more-aa?'
'right here on the floor-aa...'
'you wanna......'
'Dinah-Moe-Humm' by honorable F. Zappa
Just live the life you want to and don't seek ways justifying it through others.
Guys,I met a damn handsome German purchasing manager in the business meeting.Hahaha...I kept looking at him but he is going to fly to the Germany tonight:( :( :(
Forget about it...
Bravelife:
Ted,he told me nothing except business.lol It is a professional business meeting with GMS in,what could I expect?The German just in China for several days.Better shut up and regard him as client.
It's such a shame that such a potentially great mind is being held back by the belief that open legs bring great wealth and happiness.
Oh wait..... it seems to work for western female role models 
.
Ah well, so long as there are stupid rich men who fall for it...........
My post got reported and deleted, but this one didn't.
Nice.
icnif77:
I was guessing, it was 'carbonized' because of my 'equality study'. But, it doesn't look it was me, 'cause my repeat here is standing.
You look in the mirror Hulk!
Spiderboenz:
@Scots large enough, and they pop like a melon hit with a hammer. m
I think the guy was just being honest with you. Most men I know won't date endlessly without getting sex, especially if they are paying for the dates. I personally have a 3 date rule. If a woman is not putting out by the third date, I'm moving on because I feel they are either not interested, or they are scamming me for free dinners and attention. Sex is an important part of life, and life is too short to go without it.
Bravelife:
To ted,those average men chased me mainly because I am good-looking.So why not me go for a handsome white man?Everybody likes beaitiful thing.
Harpo:
I'm not Ted. And why does the guy have to be white? You are a racist creamsicle.
Even animals smell and do all sorts of "dating" stuff before having sex and trying to produce offspring. It's all by instinct, not a much contemplated pleasure. Humans, on the other hand, get seriously sickened by their own "minds" full of useless thoughts that are no better than used condos lying around a porn movie stand.
But life can't and shouldn't be a porn movie. That's why we have a thing called brothel.
Sex is ONLY ONE important part of a meaningful relationship. Choosing a partner is like buying a laptop. You want big memory and nice display? Okay, but what about exterior design and ventilation? Wait...you also need speed AND you have a tight budget...when you add all up, I'm not sure at all you can find a perfect model in the market - perfect for you. People are tricker. A laptop can't choose another buyer, but a man/woman can. Sex is just one of the parameters you take into consideration. Imagine you have two options, A and B, both are interested in you. A is a handsome guy with a great personality, compatible with you in almost all areas known to you, but, unfortunately, he has a sexual dysfunction that won't go away, whereas B is a handsome guy who is 100% compatible with you sexually but you two can barely have a conversation for 5 minutes without fighting. You may have a third option, a short and not good looking guy who has all the benefits of A and B. What would you choose? Wait...whoever you choose...does he really think along the same lines?
Brothels help, really, to solve all this complexity for simple people.
Bravelife:
I had A type ex and B type ex in the past.And got the third type of men chasing me. I know it is quite hard to choose,but if I will have to make a choice eventually,I would make a compromise to reduce my sex with A, but with him for his good-looking and good personaluty.B is very hard to deal with.I can not live with the third option.
TedDBayer:
@flyingfart, animals do have sex for pleasure, I'm glad you approve of bothels.
@Bravelife, thats very noble of you 
, A and B will not please you but C will and that is very shallow. What will you do in a few years when you loose your looks and A,B,C will not notice you
Bravelife:
To teddy:Good-looking man usually look good even when they get older,I will get old with him.So I am not worried,I am sure I will still look good as well if I do some sports.
sorrel:
@flyingheart, be sure to tell your bf you are ok with brothels - i'm sure he will be delighted.
Personally, i'd have nothing to do with a guy who has been either to a brothel or a prostitute: there are too many opportunities for STD's and a lack of respect for women.
Also, you can't categorize anyone into a box: people are more complex than that, and are individuals.
To say you will only 'chase' foreign guys could possibly cut you off from the most fulfilling relationship you will ever had, just because you looked at superficial things like race first.
Outward appearance changes sooner that character traits.
If you are attracted only to superficial qualities, you will ultimately be unhappy.
As was commented in a previous answer, while the superficial qualities such as appearance (you can include ethnic background) might attract someone at the start, guys stay with girls and vice versa when characters and personalities match.
TedDBayer:
@ Brave,, men all look the same in the dark, better to have one that pleases you.
@ sorrel, just because a man uses a hooker, does not mean he doesn't like or respect her, they're not all crack hos, mostly nice women. If you ask them why, many will say they like sex and many will do it only seldom for extra money. There is a huge culture difference. Some working girls are even married.
I have girl friend interviews every Saturday. Just line up in the hall and wait your turn. Winner gets a one week contract to be my girl friend for the week, but you are allowed to reapply for next week.
