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Q: It's necessary to feel appreicate and say thank you?
I have a question.
When you paid your money in a resturant,the waitress handed you food and gave you good service. Is it necessary to feel appreciate and say thank you?
I had a converation with 2 guys and 1 girl in wechat group. And I told them I don't think it's necessary as they offered because I paid. Without all those money,they won't give a damn fuck on me.
But then alll those people started to against me in the group and called me bad name and told I treat waitress poorly. I never insulted the waitress,how come I treat them poorly? lol
I think a thank you in service area is more like a stragedy for them to get clients. You don't have to feel appreciate with the money you spend on buying their service.
You agree?
If you want to be polite, you say "please" and "thank you."
If you want to be a rude peasant, then you do not say "please" and "thank you."
Actually I can see your point . however For me I always Say thank you and when paying i put the money in their hand not down on the counter.
For me and most westerns it is just good manners.
do you thank someone when they give directions or advice?
do your customers thank you when they are happy with your service. ?
you whent to New York did you thank anybody or do they think you were just another badly behaved Chinese tourist.
you need to use some of the advice people are giving you
good luck
Viki87:
My rule is I don't thank for what I paid. Because that's what they should offer. But I should thank for things ppl helpped me when I did not pay them to help me. Those are real help.
Viki87:
My client thanked me for good service. But I told him its what I should do for him because he's a client. lol I wanna gain profits from my client. Of couese I should offer good service and he dudn't have to thsnk me.
Shining_brow:
In Chinese culture, money is seen AS a form of gratitude. In our culture, it isn't - it's symbolic of gratitude, but doesn't replace it.
So, basically, the place of money in our culture is different... we are more separated from it (emotionally, socially).
If you want to be polite, you say "please" and "thank you."
If you want to be a rude peasant, then you do not say "please" and "thank you."
Viki - you're ina Chinese culture... Actually, you're in a Mainland Chinese culture, where showing respect to a person for doing something for you when you are seen as the 'superior' (they need to serve you, you don't need to go to their restaurant) would be considered silly (which is what you're saying).
However, we come from a place where who the person IS is more important than what the person DOES. Saying "thank you" and other politenesses is indicating their being as a person... not as a thing.
Yes, it's true that staff are trained to say 'thank you', etc... but that doesn't actually mean they are less of a human being for it.
It's not even good manners. It's basic human decency to say please and thank you. Just because you paid money doesn't make it alright to behave like your father is a pig farmer and your mother a whore.
What goes around comes around Vicky. That waitress you are rude to today might be your boss tomorrow. Or a famous movie star. She might even marry an American millionaire.
I wonder. When she is "above you", do you think she would be kind enough to give you a tissue to wipe the egg off your face 
Treat others as you expect to be treated. You will be a happier person for it
RandomGuy:
This! Friend of mine is now the owner of one of the largest training center in Shenzhen with over 10000 students, when I met him 9 years ago he was teaching at another training center. People used to treat him like dirt, the same people now kiss his ass hoping to get a slice of that training center pie. I get 5% doing virtually nothing, he tells me "Random, you are a real friend", I always treated him with respect even when he earned 2k per month as a fresh graduate.
@ Vicky,
I'm not going to repeat what others have said but will give you an example. I'm always polite with people I meet and that includes restaurants & bars where I pay for a service. Tonight I walked into a bar near to me to get a late dinner & a beer. On walking into the bar I was immediately greeted by the staff, who know me by name, and given a good table. I was served quickly, efficiently & with smiles by the staff.
Now think ink how you get treated at places you visit regularly.....
I know why I get treated nicely by the staff at this bar.....because I treat them with respect.
That Q is outrageous! Here's my A:
No, it isn't necessary ....! meeee-meeee-mee-me ..... 
Soon, I'll have an extra jacket...'stop feedin' the s-tool!'
I took half day to think about it because my German friend inpired me and he told it's human instinct to feel happy when the waitress hearing my "thank you" even they are paid to serve me. I will say thank you to them for lighting a waitress's day to show respect no matter I view their service as a real help or not.
But it doesn't really mean I will appreciate all their service,it still depends on the situation though. I think it's just polite to say"thank you". Hopefully it will make their serving day less boring.
The Vicky problem is solved. Desperate for a western husband, but dismisses western values. Turning your nose up at other people you consider inferior is a massive turn off to western people. Westerners might have disagreements, but we respect our differences.
No wonder you can't get past the drunken fumble first date stage.
Politeness costs nothing and makes the world a far more pleasant place to live in.
Shining_brow:
No no no no no....being polite costs 'face'... it should be illegal to do anything that loses face!!
