The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 4495

Emperor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: Lost my temper today

And I will probably have contract terminated tomorrow. I just wanted all of you to know I finally did what we all feel like doing for so long, but are usually held back from doing by allowing our common sense to supersede our raw emotion. I was walking out the school gate today, the little gate where there is only room for one person or bicycle to pass through at a time, and I noticed from about 10 meters off there was a male standing in the gateway. I walk slowly (limp) and field of vision is wide-open so he seen me of that I am sure.  I reached gateway and barreled through pushing him aside. I then got in his face (never laid a hand on him) and backed him up into said gate. I then asked him several times if he had anything to say to me. He was profusely apologizing and saying 'sorry', 'sorry', so I kinda didn't push it toooooo much,,, but I had gotten in his face pretty darned strongly and was just waiting for him to pull some sh*t so I could take my anger out and punch his fkn lights out. He kept good sense and backed-off,,, well, he never challenged, so, backed-off is not the correct description of his behavior. He just kept backed-off and kept apologizing.  Security guard, a good guy, touched my shoulder and just told me to chill and such,,, so I did.  But anyway, u know china,,, this event will be all over school news in 30 minutes.  I'm the only laowei around or that most have ever seen.  Anyway, I'm guessing the guy standing in the gateway was a student's dad. So, he will probably whine to Principal. And there must have been a dozen people milling around who seen the incident.  But you know what,, fk 'em.   Again the guy is just lucky not a lot worse happened to him.  25 years ago I was not rational. It was throw-down for most anything.

Not really a question, but don't a lot of you feel like knocking the guys standing in doorways, top of escalator, trying to enter elevator before u exit.  Don't you guys feel like whipping some ass over that? Well, I know I do and I'm glad I fkd with him, and I'm also glad he had the good sense not to stand up to me.

anyway, I expect termination and deportation to occur soon.  Just thought I'd relate this little tale of the Wild, Wild East ~

6 years 48 weeks ago in  Arts & Entertainment - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 1095

Shifu

8
10
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

I was once called a White monkey by my neighbor,  I jokingly replied with Yellow monkey, within the next few days everyone in the community knew about the incident, what I said, not why I said it, and I was labeled a racist Foreigner who hates China and should GTFO.

 

Did I care what people were thinking of me? Not at all. Though for several weeks I was waiting for someone around my community to jump me over in a nationalist thrust because I am the 'racist laowai' so I can break both their arms and legs. Nothing happened.

 

However, I did get a visit from the community manager because I was "being disrespectful of China", so obviously my neighbor complained to them after I hurt his glass heart. They were on my doorstep accusing me without any audio of video proof to back their claims, I first tried to calmly explain to them in Chinese what happened but they wouldn't hear anything.

 

So I just told them to come back to me when they have proof and closed the door in their face. That was years ago, I never heard from them again.

 

This incident and others I have read have convinced me that most Chinese are crying babies who don't deserve any respect given to grown ups but should be treated for what they are, immature children.

Viki87:

O, yes

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Answers (17)
Comments (19)
Posts: 1072

Shifu

3
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I someone is blocking me i just stop and stare at them - and i don't move until they unblock either the lift or escalator.

it seems to frighten the crap out of them.

 

i have been told by mates that i have a 'death stare' look (which amuses them) whenever i am out walking on the street. It seems to discourage people from blocking me.

 

but i can't understand anyone who blocks areas or places where people are supposed to move through.

why?

WHY ?

WHY ????

icnif77:

Me too. I stand like 'stone-d'. I do it to the kids too ... for fun! Little rascals, they just push me away .....LOL

In my Wally, they stop at the exit of the escalator and lit the fag with the tape rolling ..... I 'invented' 'eject' button on the top of escalators ....in China. Out of necessity ... LOLOL

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

It frightens them because they think you are psycho. The thousand yards stare and having a grin for no reason seems to give them this impression too. I have noticed that Chinese go to great lengths in order to avoid me when I have a grin or when I stare into the void. So I just do this when I want to be left alone now.

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

Emperor

1
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

Mate it can build for only so long before there is a release point.
And language barriers don't help.
Unfortunately the boat your in is pretty full of people like us.
On the funny side if and when you are summoned to the office you can pretend your Chinese and put the blame solely on the guy in the gateway.

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5321

Emperor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I think everyone has been there man. I've snapped a few times and over reacted then spent the next few days wondering when it was going to come back to bite me. Mostly I didn't really regret what I'd done although I know I should have just turned the other cheek, but there was one time I do wish I could go back and not do the same.

 

As far as I know nothing ever happened other than some locals probably having their beliefs that all foreigners are barbarians confirmed.

 

I'd say I was lucky.

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2855

Emperor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

So...  The guy was standing in the gate, minding his own business, when you bumped into him, got aggressive, and got in his face. 

 

You're bragging about acting like an aggressive asshole...  Ok. 

 

I cannot not say that this has happened to me in the 4 years I've been living in PRC. 

diverdude1:

yeah, I must admit that he didn't really do anything that bad, and I was in a bad mood from something else, and I just happened to snap and take it out on him.

 bragging about it?  I don't think so.  I also intend to ask the security guard to apologize to him for me if he see's him again.

That perhaps is my biggest problem in the ML, they have strange a** behavior, but no malice in it, or very little and very rarely anyway.  At least where I grew up you knew if someone was fkn with u.

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

He's not bragging, and although I've never reacted with anger when some guy simply was standing in the way I understand hi reaction. He clearly sees himself as overreacting. I don't see what you saw Spider

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5156

Emperor

0
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
3

What gets to me is harassing behavior (taking photos, pointing , laughing, rude staring). I know what you mean, which is exactly why I vent when they harass me (taking photos) to prevent a big eruption. 

 

I fully understand your situation, parents , students, teachers here have gotten it from me. I always wonder who is the one 'connected' and will get me fired. 

RandomGuy:

Don't get angry, do the same to them, they hate it because as an outsider you are expected to put up with it but they are not.

 

The elevator is my most favorite moment in China, I have got it all, pointing/staring at me, talking/laughing in my face, etc... so I just do the same to them.

 

Just the other day there was this short 30-ish man living in my building and who obviously acts socially aggressive because of his napoleon complex. He was with a woman who I suppose is his wife but still for some reason felt the need to prove himself to her.

 

So of course, the presence of a laowai who assumedly doesn't speak the language was a golden opportunity for him. While we were all waiting for the elevator, he started slanting me for no reason and pointing out my flaws out loud, most likely trying to raise himself up and put me down.

 

He was like "look at his arms, so hairy" then giggled like a little girl, the woman didn't really care nor react to his stupidity but he kept doing it. While in the elevator almost reaching my floor, I turned to him and said "look at his penis, so small" (看他的阴茎,很小) that's when the woman burst out in a laugh that was clearly one of approval, to which I said "she knows too" (她也知道). Then I went onto my way.

 

Perhaps next time he will think twice before picking on someone out of insecurity smiley

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

"Just the other day there was this short 30-ish man living in my building and who obviously acts socially aggressive because of his napoleon complex. He was with a woman who I suppose is his wife but still for some reason felt the need to prove himself to her."

 

Fuck yeah, when they're with a girl or you're with a girl it brings out the worst in them. So fucking insecure. 

It's best I never learn Chinese because I'd end up in a fight

 

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

I know right. It's almost like they feel threatened by our very presence. Their masculinity compromised, their manhood dwarfed. So they need to act socially overly aggressive or try to put us down in order to compensate for it. I don't know how they do, it must be exhausting to be like that all the time.

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2231

Shifu

2
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
6

'Don't you guys feel like whipping some ass over that? '

 

1 billion is a nice round number. Off this planet, body and warped soul if any, sealed, to the sun, non-stop.

 

No worries about getting fired, this all depends on how replaceable you are and the effort it takes to find another good teacher.

 

It is a good idea to talk to the guard and ask him to relay your apologies to the guy should the opportunity arise, or do it personally the next time you see him.  A clean conscience is not something money can buy. 

 

Worst case scenario, you say byebye to this shithole, what's so big about the loss? If that happens I say it is a blessing in disguise. So motte it be. smiley

icnif77:

 You should strengthen first two knuckles ...  on your fists for 1-B-punches.

 

I suggest a million push-ups a day by bending with your fists (not open palm!) on the first two knuckles only .... Just try  and don't cry .... .

 

This 'recipe' is straight out from Okinawa ... ''Uechi-Ryu"-Jap-fanaticism' MA ... I had to do it .... at my 13-teen-th.

Okinawans have so strong palm (top of the fingers), some of them can take the heart out of the alive bull ... it's nothing special, you just need to exercise a-('parking')-lot! 

 

There are not too many things in the world, which can bend you .... after ...

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

8
10
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

I was once called a White monkey by my neighbor,  I jokingly replied with Yellow monkey, within the next few days everyone in the community knew about the incident, what I said, not why I said it, and I was labeled a racist Foreigner who hates China and should GTFO.

 

Did I care what people were thinking of me? Not at all. Though for several weeks I was waiting for someone around my community to jump me over in a nationalist thrust because I am the 'racist laowai' so I can break both their arms and legs. Nothing happened.

 

However, I did get a visit from the community manager because I was "being disrespectful of China", so obviously my neighbor complained to them after I hurt his glass heart. They were on my doorstep accusing me without any audio of video proof to back their claims, I first tried to calmly explain to them in Chinese what happened but they wouldn't hear anything.

 

So I just told them to come back to me when they have proof and closed the door in their face. That was years ago, I never heard from them again.

 

This incident and others I have read have convinced me that most Chinese are crying babies who don't deserve any respect given to grown ups but should be treated for what they are, immature children.

Viki87:

O, yes

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1059

Shifu

2
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

I have never been in a fight while in China Iam a non violent person,But China has turned me into something Iam not,I feel like punching people.

 

 

RandomGuy:

Same here, China has changed me in the way I interact with its people and for the worse. When I first came here, I remember being so easy to approach and friendly to the local Chinese. I could start a conversation with anyone. Then, years of my friendliness being met with mockery of the one-not-like-us and hearing the same sh*t over and over has resulted in my subconscious mind surrounding myself with an aura of hostility as to be left alone. There is something truly wrong with the way Mainlanders see and treat non-Chinese. It's either worship or hatred, but it never is a normal as in indifference to your race. What matters to them isn't who you are but what you are. Your race defines the way they treat you and this is just wrong, doesn't matter if good or bad treatment. Basically, to the Mainlanders, if you are a Foreigner they can not treat you the same way as they treat their Chinese friends, doesn't matter how many years you have known each other, you are not one-of-us and therefore they can not behave with you in the same way they behave with other Chinese. It's even worse when it comes to random people. The simple fact that you look different means you are met with suspicion and no respect whatsoever is given to you. Bring in the stares that are not friendly but suspicious ones, your image, your privacy, your very self do not belong to you anymore. You are here to be used to their profit or you are not welcome here, this be clear. And it only is with the local Chinese, I am perfectly normal in my interactions with other Foreigners be they White or Black or else, including other Asians and overseas Chinese. I personally don't know any long-term staying Foreigner who has a positive idea of the way Chinese people treat them. The longer you stay, and the more you understand the language,, the more obvious it becomes that racism permeates this society from top to bottom, in every interactions and in every thoughts. The only Foreigners I know and who love it here are either illiterate in Chinese or have been here for less than 3 or 4 years. So I know the problem here isn't me,.

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

philbravery:

Here's a thought. Why don't you just pick up di erdude on your Ebike . You can chill to loud rock music and flip everyone off as you travel. Fit a couple of stubbie coolers and problem solved

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RachelDiD:

China made me super angry and bitter. People like you and I are strong enough to take direct hits, but China and Chinese culture just kind of casually chip you down. 

 

 

6 years 47 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 272

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Don't think about the apocalypse too soon. Remember that as a foreigner your WILL BE be given so much leeway in these matters. Who is to say that the "dad", as you described him, might think that that is the way you do things back home. Or maybe that you were just having a bad day. Or this was another chance to show the school 5,000 years of civilization campared to your centuries or decades of the same thing.

You might have some one ask you if something is wrong. Other than you killing someone or getting a student pregnant you will be ok me thinks.

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7715

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

The ONLY chance you have of being fired is if this guy really is a big hotshot with lots of guanxi... so much so that he demands you be fired, and they have zero choice about it, AND you are actually replaceable easily.

 

Even if he's a hotshot, if you're good business for them, then they'd rather just grovel a bit, maybe cut your pay a little, or some other crap to show that you've been punished for your impudence....

 

But, since the guy was all "sorry sorry", that's unlikely to happen.

 

As for me, I say something... smokers in the airport... I point to no-smoking sign and say "nage shenme yisi?"... Usually, I get ignored (deliberately), but occasionally I get the "sorry" and they put it out.

 

Friday on the bus... old lady got on, got jostled around a bit... I gave up my seat, and gave shit to the other guy behind me who didn't (FTR, she was still moving back through the bus, and I thought she was headed for one of the other seats that I knew were empty). Other passengers smiled... :D  Even though my Chinese sucks, many do understand what's going on when you're telling someone off for bad behaviour...

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 347

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

From what I read in your post, I don't find it a basis to be fired. Bad days anyone has and may have. Try not to show too much as though it is the end of the world when you return to school today. Act as though nothing happened. Don't give them the chance to make it a precedent which would give the chance to to your colleagues or the staff of the school for a case to fire you when less expected.

Should that parent afterall complain and you be compelled to give explanations, do be as much as neutral as though it would be too much ado for nothing. That would make it clear that you are in the control of the situation, that you didn't intend to harm anyone, that no one did after all. Actually, from the perspective of what really happened and what would be told, you will realize that story may be quite far from the truth. Don't answer to what actually didn't happened if you are accused of it. Keep it low profile and be as evasive in your answers so they don't make a case around your answers. Fewer words, less chance to catch you. 

 

I am positive you will get well out of this. Lesson apprehended, you will know what to do next. I read your story and took my time to reply you. I don't do it much anylonger on this website. But it caught my attention in the way you feel sorry and needed to share it with us. I also understand how rage seizes one in China, and how mostly madness it becomes, irrational, so much inspired by the circumstances of living in China. 

 

I will not enter into what China culture means to me, but I do understand your anger and what got into you afterwards. 

 

Dude, I am sure you will be just fine and wish you to be prudent more and more. Let us know of the outcome. 

 

 

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 87

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Best thing I find when they stare at you, just go up behind them (but do it in a way that you dont know you know they are staring and just stand behind them close enough so when they look around they cant see, your that close

 

it drives um barmy

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

3
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

Well, looks like you all were right.  Not fired.   Funny thing is the incident didn't even come up in conversation.  I'm not going to let that kind of thing happen again, doesn't help anything and I'm the only one that winds up sitting around worrying about the possible negative ramifications.

Thanks for the tips, comments, advice to all of you. wink

Shining_brow:

Dude - keep on getting in their face! :)

 

You should remember - the guy actually lost face for being a cockwomble for blocking an entrance!

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Dracon44:

So far so good.  But just don't be surprised if this incident comes up if and when you want to renew your contract.  If you don't want to renew, then "no harm, no foul" If you do and they don't it might become an issue.

 

And yeah I agree with the more calm attitude in this post.  Nothing bad happened to you so far...but what if the guy you bumped into had been studying martlal arts for the last decade in the hopes of something like this happening?

 

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2531

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

While that guy is being a moron... you should just handle it like Chinese. 

 

When you get close to him just shout "Qing rang yi xia!" or "Please let me pass!"

 

And most move quickly. We all want to get angry and fling them out of the way cause many Chinese people constantly move about like lost cattle. The zig zag when they walk and stop without warning in busy traffic areas... but quickly shout that and they immediately move to the side. 

Shining_brow:

Wyat would be the appropriate insult to go with it?... "250"??

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 347

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I'm glad for you, dude, that it went well, after all and that you're at your school still teaching. As of some observations made so far, it is very likely, unfortunately, that the back stabbing be true, as it is in many situations, when people know of what one did but they don't say anything about it. Of course they know, but keep it as if it didn't happen. Show yourself in the best you are, not to prove anything at all. Don't put yourself on the verge to proving anything about how good you are. Just be yourself as you did so far and because you know a weakness getting into you and that you already might lose temper, be prudent. Anticipate and know yourself, this way you will avoid provocations that are abundant in China. 

 

China shows the character of yourself and it makes you lose face more often than you think or expect. But the real building is knowing your own weaknesses and learn to have them under your control. Don't justify yourself to anyone, not even to yourself. Then to find ways to have your own issues under control. Lesson learnt, learn further to build up patience. In China is about patience and patience beyond. That will add value to your character on a dailly basis. 

 

I am glad for you. Keep it as though it did not happen and know for yourself that it actually did. 

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 347

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I'm glad for you, dude, that it went well, after all and that you're at your school still teaching. As of some observations made so far, it is very likely, unfortunately, that the back stabbing be true, as it is in many situations, when people know of what one did but they don't say anything about it. Of course they know, but keep it as if it didn't happen. Show yourself in the best you are, not to prove anything at all. Don't put yourself on the verge to proving anything about how good you are. Just be yourself as you did so far and because you know a weakness getting into you and that you already might lose temper, be prudent. Anticipate and know yourself, this way you will avoid provocations that are abundant in China. 

 

China shows the character of yourself and it makes you lose face more often than you think or expect. But the real building is knowing your own weaknesses and learn to have them under your control. Don't justify yourself to anyone, not even to yourself. Then to find ways to have your own issues under control. Lesson learnt, learn further to build up patience. In China is about patience and patience beyond. That will add value to your character on a dailly basis. 

 

I am glad for you. Keep it as though it did not happen and know for yourself that it actually did. 

Report Abuse
6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77