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Q: Mother in Law Issues
The mother in-law's moved back in but this time without the father in-law, so i'm in a bed with my wife and two kids while she's in the spare room with the only other bed all to herself. My wife knows that she can't be separated from the baby and our other son won't be separated from her, which leaves me as the one taking up unnecessary space. So.......(jeez, I just had a bit of sick gulp up into my throat) the missus has suggested I share the bed in the spare room with my mother in-law, a woman in her sixties who's flirting with obesity, whom in the short time i've known her i've seen pick her nose, lean into a fart, slip a nipple, stand naked in the shower twice and squat on the crapper three times. A woman who hawks phlegm loud enough to drown out the noise of a jumbo jet and chews louder than a camel eating a bag of toffees. So............................does anybody have any advice for the best way to kill oneself in China?
invite your mother to stay and let them fight it out. 
Cross the street while blindfolded.
Or even better: drop some pills on that old sack of bones' congee in the morning. Let her die first. I don't think anybody will investigate further. 
Hulk:
That's premeditated murder. It's not done in self-defense, or to someone who harmed your family. As a serial killer, I don't find this funny. Have le downvote. 
Maaaate...... you, old cock, are fked!
Can you somehow press the rewind?
Can your wife appreciate the likely outcome of your current situation? If she can't....well....
Go to Hong Kong and say you are protecting Beijing. You have a week at most for it to work. The protests are losing steam these days.
invite your mother to stay and let them fight it out.
Go to the middle of a busy street and scream "free chicken feet!". You will get swarmed, trampled and die.
Piss off the government. Actually, that's the same for America, too.
Oh wait, I just read your post. Sounds like a free invitation to a creampie threesome. Perhaps your wife is hinting at something?
I had a really hard time typing this. 
I have a new name for Martian.
Henpecked Hou.
Hulk:
But how did you know my Indian name? You've shamed me this day, mArtiAn!
Depend on a local for something, anything. By the time its over, your head will have exploded.
.... Mr MaRtiAN, you are not just fishing after approval for sneaking in and spooning your MIL are you ? You will not get if from me though, I have far to much integrity (psssst, send me a box of beer and I might change my mind)
Geez thank for sharing your adventure. I couldn't stop laughing. Wait until she takes out the false teeth, pops out the glass eye, screws off the wooden leg, that'll scare you death.
Looks like admin didn't like my post title. Either that or I blacked out and changed it myself.
Serious answer: but some blankets/pillows on the floor, or go on taobao and buy one of those folding military style beds, these beds are more comfortable than they look.
