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Posts: 5

Governor

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Q: Is normal that I hate Chinese??

First of all I say that I am not native speaker. I have been working in China for a period of time and I am starting to hate these people. I think China is really dirty, the streets smell really bad, people are very rude, details like going to Mc Donads and seeing people throwing food don ,t clean the table when they finish eating. 

 

I also have the feeling that people are trying to cheat me everywhere take advantage of me, it,s really difficult to make friends if you don,t give to the other person some benefit. People are really shelfish, they do everything for money, I think in this country people have a problem with with ethic and values, they don,t care about the other people just about themselves and their iphone and ipad. Sometimes I am afraid that no one is going to help me if i don,t have money because i cannot give any benefit to the other person

 

I don,t know, I am the only one who has this feeling here?, do you also have the same feeling?. Should I change or what?

 

 

Thank you and have a nice day!!!

11 years 34 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 3025

Emperor

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At this stage, for you it will be either change and learn to tolerate others' style of living, or begin to pack your bags.  I would not live at any place I do not feel happy and relaxed.

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
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As Happy said. To that I'll just add that in every society, there are many levels, just as there are multitudes of personalities and world-views. Of course, not all Chinese are like what you described, but, depending on how long (or short) you have been here, it would seem like that at first blush. What you see is just the surface veneer.

 

Get to know someone, and they are generally friendly and caring, just like anyone else in any other country. But yes, all in all, the public behavior is different than how you might have been raised, and it does seem callous, indifferent, rude, and self-serving.

 

However, and it does need to be stated, you are the odd man out here, not them. After awhile you'll learn to ignore the bad, and operate according to "how things are." If you can't and things really, really start to aggravate you on a regular basis, then China may not be the place.

 

Ultimately, you have to make a decision, but remember, Delta is ready when you are.

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
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As HappyExPat says, learn to tolerate more or find another location.

 

China is all about family and true friends, anyone else who isn't one of those is not important.

 

However, they have only experienced capitalism for the last 30 years or so, and prior to that they all remember total abject poverty, that is their most recent memory, forget the ancient history, they read about that, most have experienced the poverty. It has been suggested as they are so near to that experience i.e. true starvation level poverty, their natural empathy and altruism have been suppressed into a survival mode, it is hoped that this will change as the memories of poverty recede.

 

It is also a bad idea to over generalise, there are exceptions to every rule including that one I have over-generalised about above.

 

 But, ultimately the bottom line is the China isn't going to change to suit you so......

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
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China really is an 'adapt or die' kind of place.  It forces you, sometimes brutally, to change yourself and your way of thinking if you want to live here for an extended period.  And sometimes those changes are in a completely opposite way to the way we were raised.  We have all been there and experienced the feelings you have now.  The term we use is BCD (Bad China Day).

 

On the good side, if you are able to find a way to release your bad emotions (without committing any felonies) then eventually China will teach you a level of patience and stress control that you never thought yourself capable of.

 

Good luck my friend.  China isn't for everyone so there is no shame in leaving it in your rearview window.

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 796

Shifu

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i am Chinese,do you think i am that bad?Do you hate me because i am Chinese?Come on,baby,i am lovely!

mattsm84:

Maybe he hates you because you're so lovely. Scary thought. But don't let the haters get you down.

11 years 34 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

Dont worry Chenhan, even those of us who do on occasion complain about China, most of us here love it here. And , a country is only as great as its people. If not for the people, then, the country is just dirt and water.

我 喜欢 中国 和 zhon中国人!

I would not have been here for six years if I did not like China!

11 years 34 weeks ago
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mArtiAn:

  Yeh, it's good to have a regular Chinese visitor to this site, don't take the negative comments to heart, it's mostly just people venting their frustrations. I used to say some pretty mean things about China when I first got here too.

11 years 33 weeks ago
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Createach:

Yesterday my GF told me about the "Come on,Baby" chinese use....quiet creepy the way they use this word and today this dude proves it....also got some twisty meanings according to my sources "GF".

11 years 33 weeks ago
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chenhan:

Actually,i think most of your comments on China are the truth .It's normal to complain if the country has problems, and it does have many.As Pogger said,if complaints are enough,then the change comes.If fact,there are also numerous complaints about the country and the government on net vented by Chinese,if you can read Chinese,you will see them,but maybe many Chinese will not talk about these problems with their foreign friends.This is the way they were taught when they were at school.Lots of  Chinese need to be more open-minded to criticism.

11 years 33 weeks ago
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Franck3:

It is if you are a moron. In every country and I have lived in five. There are good and bad people in any country. I have lived in the US for 53 years and all my close friends are Chinese? I lived in southern China for over a year and found them to be charming people.

11 years 4 weeks ago
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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 497

Shifu

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maybe it is for You time to go? at list for vacation from China?

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1989

Peasant

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no offence bro but i think you need some fresh air to clear your mind

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1420

Shifu

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It's normal. It's called culture shock and it happens to most expats at one point or another. For a lot of people its the lack of what we would think of as a social contract, and that's what it seems to be for you. My suggestion is to try to find spot that you can retreat to when it all gets to be too much. It can be a expat hang out, such as a local expat bar, your apartment or even a space within your own mind. As time goes by you'll adjust and find that you need it less and less. Then maybe even not at all. Once that happens you may even want to invite a small number of Chinese into that space, whatever it is, and at that point you'll have people that you know you'll be able to depend upon. At least that's what I've done.  

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
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You must find an outlet to simply vent. I get together with a few buddies and we let it all out over a few cold beers. It works great for me and actually it is the one thing that I can always count on when I'm about ready to throw someone off the bridge. Exchanging these seemingly crazy experiences with like minded people is a great way to take the edge off, so to speak. I hope you have this avenue in your neck of the woods.

If not, then let it out here.  The doctors are aways in!! wink

GuilinRaf:

The Doctors are always in, and ignore the grumps that say "If you hate China leave" since they do not know that complaining about something is not the same as hating something. When enough people complain about something, change comes.

11 years 34 weeks ago
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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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I think this is a troll post. Based on the number of people I saw in a day vs those that want Apple products, actually only met one, my GF who has my locked iphone 4, and uses it as a camera.

As for dirty cities, at least in China it gets swept up every morning. I'll pick on the US for this, garbage in the streets oh yeah, litter sure, dumping garbage absolutely.

Rude people are every where, maybe in China the rudeness come in different forms.

In China I just expect that they will cheat me, but sometimes I let my guard down, if I get taken it's for a small annoying amount.

You need a way to deal with Bad China Days, for me it was to do something I like, go cruising on my scooter while listening to tunes and drinking beer and staring at babes. It helps if it's not raining. Actually what I did was drive out of the city as far as I dared in the country side before I had to worry about battery power.

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11 years 34 weeks ago
 
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  Moving to or living in China for any considerable period of time is a challenge, there's no doubt about it, you have moved outside of your comfort zone, and if your comfort zone is anywhere in the west, you might have well have moved to Mars. It's easy to fall into feelings of negativity and when that happens it colours the world around you, and never in a flattering light. I think mattsm84 gave some good advice in suggesting you find a place to make your own comfort zone, it's amazing how much different the world looks after spending some time there.

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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
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I'd talk you through this, but I wouldn't get anything out of it.

 

But seriously. One thing people forget when they move to another country is that there's jerks at home. And, in China, there are alot more people crammed into it. So, you'll see such behaviour more. 

When I started getting like that I just remembered instances of Chinese people being nice to me...and realized it's actually just as common as them being jerks, but when someone is a jerk you notice it more cause you get upset. 

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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1201

Shifu

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It's not normal..................It's totally normal

giadrosich:

Lol, but not very practical!

11 years 33 weeks ago
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Createach:

what you want me to do?!!!....Grab a stick and start hitting them?!!!....having second thoughts though............that might work

11 years 33 weeks ago
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giadrosich:

Naw. Just be cool and wear dark sunglasses. That'll drive people crazy enough!

11 years 33 weeks ago
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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2381

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Time to move on, my friend.

 

It's normal, if you're living as an expat, to dislike the place you live, occasionally. But if you genuinely dislike a place and it's culture and even the people, then find somewhere else to live that you will enjoy more. Life's short.

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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 461

Shifu

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Don't worry, I had the same feeling when I was living in China. Moreover, being married with a Chinese woman was not the easiest part as I could never stop seeing Chinese around and especially all the bad aspects (culture, traditions, etc) that go with it.

 

We went back to Europe for living, life is tough, but at least I don't Chinese all around me all the time and I can finally appreciate my wife as being my wife and Chinese.

 

Sure, China and Chinese is really a matter of "Love or Hate"....hardly there is the middle stand. Before coming to China, I used to like coping with some Chinese, while in China, I used to hate most part of Chinese, and now back to Europe, I prefer to avoid too much contact with Chinese people as they really let a bad experience during my time here.....the only Chinese guy I appreciated during my time in China was a very old guy collecting our empty bottles....always nice....always saying "ni hao" when I meet him in the street...always very polite with my child....quite poor but really hard working and kind. Over 5 years in China, I met only one of that kind.....

 

By experience, I also know that I needed to go back home at least every 5-6 months, one more month in China was already a nightmare for me. So my advise, either find a job where you have to travel a lot as a business representative or go back home.

 

 

 

 

Xpat.John:

I understand how you feel.  I find it ironic that now that I am moving back to the US, the only two people I know in my new city are both Chinese.  :)

11 years 33 weeks ago
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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5

Governor

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A history of refinement?, what are you talking about??, are you living in China???. Europeans have more refinement history than Chinese, no way.

 

It doesn,t make any sense

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11 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 195

Governor

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I just saw this post. I think it,s very normal!!, but China girls are keai!! very sweet, I cannot hate them. Anyways I think it,s normal to hate china and chinese

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11 years 4 weeks ago
 
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