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Posts: 115

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Q: Question for people with kids

If you're raising them in China, will you stay here for the forseeable future? If so, would you send them to university in your country? Will they be eligible if they haven't lived there their whole life? 

 

 

9 years 16 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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I fought hard to get my wife and daughter out of China before she was born, after one crazy bullshit thing after another happened. There's no way I'm going to allow any of my children to be born or raised in China.

 

Maybe you can justify it for one reason or another, but I honestly see no reason to do it. Yeah, the American government is corrupt as hell, but we can at least have the right to defend ourselves, the the right to bear arms without having to go to the Guanxi Black Markets in Southern China, and we have clean air, good education, and pretty much everything else.

 

China is the only country I've ever heard of where the complete insane and impossible can happen every single day. Where things that would almost never happen in America were a daily occurrence. Too much unbelievable bullshit happened there, and nobody would even believe it. I don't care if anyone does or not, we're out, and we're staying out. My wife doesn't even want to return.

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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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I can give you an answer based on my case and my beliefs, and as it applies to the USA. I have no idea if it applies to you or not, that will be your choice.

I have a 12 years old daughter with a Chinese national mother. She holds a US passport and a Chinese one too. From kinder to middle school she has studied in China. But on summer vacations she travels to USA to be with my family and practice her English among other reasons.

She will definitively attend a USA college to study whatever she decides, entrance in Chinese colleges is too problematic for my taste. If she decides to attend a State college in USA, she must graduate from a High School in that State to qualify for resident tuition (much lower), otherwise tuition will be much higher with an "out of State" fee that must be paid. If she goes to a private college, the explanation above will not be requiired.

So, to accomplish this, she will have to do at least the last year of High School in the USA also.

The above are the current plans for her and her college education.

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9 years 16 weeks ago
 
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No kids yet, but we are working hard on it, and we are planning accordingly. I would really like that my kids study mostly in France, due to the way French education system works. I think it's good (okay, we suck at foreign languages) and incredibly cheap, but you have to go through the whole thing to benefit from it.

 

My kids will have until 18 years old to take the French nationality. That would allow them to access university, at a cost f about 300 EUR/year (30% of a minimum wage). There's an examination to be accepted, but it's not  exactly challenging. The selection happens *during* the studies : every 6 months, at least in science, you got some seriously hard-core examination, where not amount of rote learning or cramming can save you : you got it or you don't. That;s a rather Spartan approach to studies. You can be a late blooming student and pick whatever you topic you feel like doing, it's fine. But once, you will have to work a lot by yourself. My own experience of Chinese education system (as a teacher in a public university) makes me think that my kids would be very ill prepared for French universities, as the strategies for success are widely different.

 

There are others options : public engineering schools or public vocational schools. Engineering schools in France are as cheap as universities, but they are *very* elitists. It's hard to get in, you have to be a top student in high-school. You can't do that if you were not in a French high-school, unless you're an elite student. Then you go through 2 brutal years, to finally access an engineering school, based on your score. Top students will go to schools like Polytechnique, for example, which kicks major ass and will free you of any worries about your future.

Public vocational schools are far more accessible, even from someone who have been through the Chinese education system. But the job market you land in is far more competitive, you will have to go through many job interviews with far less attractive incomes.

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9 years 16 weeks ago
 
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Stay here I hope.

 

I reckon it's not just the schools job to educate. It's up the the family as well.  At the very least it's our job as parents to teach our kid to want to learn, and then supplement the work the school does.

 

University?  It's up to our daughter to decide if she wants to do that.  If our daughter grows up to be a happy street cleaner I will be happy. So long as she is happy. That's the main thing .  Too many unhappy people about.

 

Me and her family  will help her all we can. A tiger parent I will not be wink.

 

 

coineineagh:

a daughter? best of luck. it's probably easier than raising a son, and she'll do fine if she chooses to remain passive and dependent. i'd be scared of the constant temptation of complacency, but other expats i spoke with think i'm overreacting. i truly hope you can make her understand what real achievements and success in life are.

9 years 15 weeks ago
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9 years 16 weeks ago
 
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we'll be moving to europe this year, probably in the next few months. china has been a cautionary tale of how to educate and raise children the wrong way. i intend to take the lessons to heart. my kids will have their first schoolday in the netherlands, or perhaps germany. i'm sure they will experience their fair share of bullying, cruelty and bad childish behaviour, but there will be adults present who will actively discipline them, not passively observe transgressions. their curiosity and intellectual development will be encouraged with a balanced approach. no cowering in a group, cheating and disrupting lessons will not be the norm, and they will take responsibility for their own success and failures. the family (we) will be there for them, but they should have the confidence to not always rely on us. it will be impossible to achieve this with chinese peers and authority figures constantly undermining and contradicting civility.

royceH:

Bravo, Sir!

9 years 15 weeks ago
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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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I have 2 sons, one in primary school here and one in kindergarten.  I think at this age Chinese schools are acceptable for them.  They learning Chinese at a young age is good for them and they get in the habit of studying and being responsible as well as respect for authority as the teacher here as great power.  There are obvious shortcomings of course but we as parents have to make up for them so they get a balanced education.  However, I definitely don't plan on letting them stay in the Chinese system forever as middle school and high school are too much about tests and too stressful for young people.  Therefore, we plan on moving back with them at some point. 

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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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I have married a Chinese woman and her daughter is now my daughter, making a grand tally of five.

She has Australian Residency and will be attending university there in about 12 months.

Between now and then she'll be completing year 11 in China and kicking some serious English language arse.  We hope an IELTS score of 7 or 7.5 will be enough to allow her to be in with local students.

She's got a lot of work to do.

The reward will be that when she graduates she'll have learnt a lot, and have a degree that's worth something.  Sadly for so many students in China, that isn't the case.

 

 

 

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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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I fought hard to get my wife and daughter out of China before she was born, after one crazy bullshit thing after another happened. There's no way I'm going to allow any of my children to be born or raised in China.

 

Maybe you can justify it for one reason or another, but I honestly see no reason to do it. Yeah, the American government is corrupt as hell, but we can at least have the right to defend ourselves, the the right to bear arms without having to go to the Guanxi Black Markets in Southern China, and we have clean air, good education, and pretty much everything else.

 

China is the only country I've ever heard of where the complete insane and impossible can happen every single day. Where things that would almost never happen in America were a daily occurrence. Too much unbelievable bullshit happened there, and nobody would even believe it. I don't care if anyone does or not, we're out, and we're staying out. My wife doesn't even want to return.

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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Putting children in the Chinese "education" system for someone who has the means for any alternative should be a crime.

Even Chinese themselves know better, which should ring some bells. And by the way, this is not only because of the formal education, which is already bad enough, but also because of the equally important environment and social education. What's the use of spending time and energy to teach values to your kid if he or she is going to interact all day long with brainless noisy ragdolls (aka The Rising Middle Class Progeny) that will eventually negate anything you'd ever do.

 

My wife's pregnant ATM, and when the time comes it's either going to be international school through the official channels or we'll head back home. Nothing else to be considered.

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9 years 15 weeks ago
 
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My son is barely turning one, but I would only consider sending him to a international Montessori school here in China.  My plan is to send him to school back home, but we'll see. As for the residence requirements, it depends on where you're from.  In the US, you have to be listed as a dependent on tax returns (could be a guardian) to meet residence requirements in college. I think they require 2 years in California, at least.  In the EU, you have to be registered to an address like hukou style

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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My son attended high school in China (at an international school). He is in his sophomore year in college back in the U.S. He wanted to attend college in China, but I convinced him it to see it my way. As far as attending college in the U.S. I own a home in the U.S. that we lived in before I came to China. This allowed me to get him in with "In State" tuition rate.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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