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Governor

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Q: Seem like many chinese really like to ask others to treat them meals?

I am just sick of it. Like my freinds, my colleagues.

 

Why would I have to buy you a meal? I feel annoyed.

 

 

1 week 6 days ago in  General  - China

 
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General

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Why do you ask non-Chinese to explain Chinese culture to you Viki?

You are a 30 (+) year old Chinese woman.

Surely you understand how Chinese people think and act more than any of the non-Chinese posters on this forum as you have lived in China all of your life.

 

or is your lack of understanding of your own culture and 'traditions' on par with you inability to understand and empathise with work colleagues and other people in general?

Could this inability to connect with others be the real reason your relationships fail and you can't seem to deal with basic relationship problems?

 

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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Posts: 13229

Emperor

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Cosmo Kramer: Hey, Jerry, is it all right if I put some stuff in your fridge? 'Cause mine's full.

 
Jerry: Yeah, sure. You don't even have a fridge, do you?

 
Cosmo Kramer:Well, not here.

[he goes to the hallway and returns with a giant bag of chicken feed


Jerry: Kramer, wait a minute. What the hell is that?

 
Cosmo Kramer: [forcing the bag into the fridge] Well, it's chicken feed.

 
Jerry: I sense something is afoot. 

 

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1 week 6 days ago
 
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Emperor

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Most of us have probably not noticed that,,, because I don't think Chinese will ask a foreigner,,, cuz they would lose 'face'.  I can barely even get colleagues to take a simple gift,,, bag of oranges or whatever,,, it seems they are nervous to accept anything from the dreaded white man!

 

But in your case, it sounds like they are just moochin' mooches.  Tell them you will bring them back the 'doggy bag'.  that should shut them up.

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1 week 6 days ago
 
Posts: 2721

Shifu

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I don't like it when people invite me out to eat when I barely know them. Like student's parents.

 

It's tedious, awkward and I never feel comfortable with being railroaded into a fake friendship that means I now owe them something, usually special attention for their little emperor.

 

 

 

 

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1 week 6 days ago
 
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Governor

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This is a common abuse tactic low lives use on those they envy and hate.

 

Food is not their prime interest, they are not hungry, it is extorting you and snatching something off you that gives these sadists their pleasure.  Expose their darkness right in their face. Call them out. If you don't they will keep doing it because it is what gives them pleasure. They are evil, in short. China is filled to the brim with these low lives, this we all know.

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1 week 6 days ago
 
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It's a southern thing, northerners are far better than southerners (still mainlanders but better)

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1 week 6 days ago
 
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Shifu

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I feel like it should be us asking you - the Chinese person who presumably understands the culture much more than we do Vicki. I know guanxi and dinners etc are a big part of Chinese culture but so often they just seem like a sneaky trap to me, even when they're well intentioned.

 

I was watching Trump's visit to China just now and it really made me think of a time I was invited to dinner by the parents of a student.

 

It was awful. I didn't speak much Chinese and every time I tried to everyone would either laugh at me or assume that because I could parrot a few phrases I was fluent in Chinese and I'd be asked things I had no way of understanding or answering.

 

There were people there I'd never seen before, other family members I assume and one was filming me literally the whole time with a video camera, the others were just staring at me.People at other tables were staring and taking pictures too. Yeah that was really comfortable...

 

Every time a new dish was brought out people would shovel some into my bowl while I was thinking WTF is that? I don't want to eat that, but the whole table would stop and stare at me while I tried to get a few mouthfuls of whatever it was down my throat without gagging. I couldn't even wash it down with a swig of beer because then the whole table had to drink together which was even more awkward for me. Then someone would give me more from the dish while I tried to say noooooo more!

 

Someone forced their 6 year old kid to talk to the white monkey because he probably had a weekly English lesson at his public school so he would ask what's my name again and again while the adults there all watched, filmed and had him do it again. He couldn't understand any English at all and any conversation was impossible but it didn't stop them from expecting an English performance from us even with all the awkward silences and blank looks from both of us. It's hard to pretend to be impressed by someone's English ability when he can only scream the same question at you then run away sniggering.

 

Then there was the baijiu toasting ( I can't stand baijiu, not even the smell of it) and speeches and limp clammy handshakes from really intense dudes who wouldn't let go of my hand.

People would keep trying to give me a cigarette even though I kept saying I don't smoke, really thanks but I don't smoke...I really don't want to have 'just one'... the only English speaker at the table was saying that the guys wanted to smoke to show they liked me and I should accept to show I 'liked' them too even though by now I was starting to downright hate people. When I eventually caved in and had 'just one' everyone was happy because I presumably liked them too even though they seemed determined to make me puke.

 

I know their intentions were mostly genuine, everyone was being friendly and hospitable in their own way but it really felt like I was put on display for their own reasons and people were oblivious to the fact that it was all just making me feel super uncomfortable. Or maybe they just didn't care as long as they got their video to show off and everyone in the restaurant saw them entertaining the laowai. Either way I spent the evening praying for a massive earthquake or fire or something to end it and telling myself I'd never put myself in that situation again.

 

 

 

 

 

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1 week 5 days ago
 
Posts: 537

General

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Why do you ask non-Chinese to explain Chinese culture to you Viki?

You are a 30 (+) year old Chinese woman.

Surely you understand how Chinese people think and act more than any of the non-Chinese posters on this forum as you have lived in China all of your life.

 

or is your lack of understanding of your own culture and 'traditions' on par with you inability to understand and empathise with work colleagues and other people in general?

Could this inability to connect with others be the real reason your relationships fail and you can't seem to deal with basic relationship problems?

 

Report Abuse
1 week 5 days ago
 
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