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anonymous
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Q: Should girls ask guys out? Pls share the experience and comments.

Should girls take the first move to ask a guy to hang out?

What is a decent way to ask so?

 

How I be passively active to ask a guy out?

 

Please share some good experience.

I'm also curious about your thoughts and comments!

 

Thanks!

 

9 years 44 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Comments (6)
Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Don't ask him out anonymously.

Yes it is. My GF had originally asked me out, to go to church and then for a beer later. If she hadn't I would've had a short conversation with her and kept walking. She's not the prettiest woman I met in China, doesn't wear micro miniskirts, but she is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen, bad moods and all.

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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

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I know that, growing up as an awkward teenager who was too chicken-shit to ask girls out, I would've LOVED it if girls asked me out on a date. I'm more confident now, but I wasn't then.

 

If a guy isn't confident, then you should definitely not feel afraid to ask him out. He'll probably trip over himself. I know I would have, haha.

 

You want to know how to ask them out "passively"? What do you mean by that? Without saying anything? Just throwing funny signals at them? Women used to throw a bunch of weird signals at me that I was too retarded to understand. The girls who were interested in me were too shy to come right out and ask me.

 

So just come right out and say what you mean. Tell him you want to go out with him. It's that simple...

DrMonkey:

Couldn't have said it better. What would be obvious signals for a young woman, to the young uneducated man, it's just completely invisible ^^

9 years 44 weeks ago
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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1263

Shifu

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Vicky?

amjed:

Brilliant ..... I can't stop laughing !!

9 years 44 weeks ago
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lilichristian:

Not everyone asks questions here is Vicky. Know you guys have fever on her. I'm noy her though.

9 years 44 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

You just outted yourself, lilichristian!

9 years 44 weeks ago
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RiriRiri:

Vicky is actively active on these matters.

 

For those who've seen Wayne's World, remember the ex-girlfriend

9 years 44 weeks ago
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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 92

Governor

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probably girls should do that sometimes...but i never did that hahaha

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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Hi lilichristian,

 

you will have to excuse posters for mistaking your questions for others if you post anonymously

 

Anyway, to answer your question:

Yes, if you like a guy there is nothing wrong in asking him to hang out.

It doesn't have to lead to anything serious if you want to keep it as a friendship, but you probably need to make it clear that you want to spend time with him.

 

it could be just saying something as simple as:

"Hey, I'm thinking of going to the park tomorrow for a couple of hours, would you like to join me?" You could include other friends in the invitation or none - up to you.

This does not mean "I want to marry you and have your babies" to a guy. If he thinks that, he is an idiot, 

 

good luck 

iWolf:

Ms Sorrel, a well said response as usual.

 

However, Pro-tip #1 says; Most guys who, for what ever reason, won't ask a girl out, ARE idiots or become idiots when a girl shows interest in them. Logical and reasonable thinking go out the door in a nanosecond.

9 years 44 weeks ago
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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
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step 1 "Hey ! Would you like to go out <date & time> for <purpose> ? It'll be great, we will have a good time !". To be said casually, with a light smile but not too much. Actually, it's up to you and what you wish ^^
step 2 Be 5 minutes late, not more

step 3 Profit

And that's it, really. If it going out to enjoy the company, it's fine. If it to get to know each other and see if there's truly some chemistry going on with him, it's fine too. If the guy misunderstand it, his loss, not yours Smile

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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
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I wouldn't mind a Chinese woman asking me out (I'd have to buy a bigger hat after my head swells) if I were not already married.

It shows that you are progressive and assertive - but the reception to that all depends on what they guy wants from a prospective date.

 

If you already know that you have some interests in common, then you can find an event or place that he would not normally know about and then ask him if he's like to go.

 

An example from my past: when I first arrived in China, one of my co-workers asked me if I've been to T-Square, Forbidden City, etc. I hadn't, so she offered to be my tour guide for a weekend. We ended up having a great time and it could have lead to much more if she wasn't already dating a married guy from Singapore (mental note: I hate you Louis!).

 

Go for it, at worst, he'll say 'no' outright or at least be extremely flattered.

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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 124

Governor

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Should girls take the first move to ask a guy to hang out?

Sure, why not. Just don't be too pushy or creepy and you need to understand if he isn't interested on you and move on.

 

What is a decent way to ask so?

Find out about things he like then take him to that place, like coffee shop. If you're taking him to a bar get a decent place, not the famous place where guys pick up girls.

 

How I be passively active to ask a guy out?

I think passive and active contradict each other. But i'll assume you mean like secretly or giving signals, won't work most of the time. Most men are horrible at detecting those stuff, including me of course.

 

Please share some good experience.

I'm also curious about your thoughts and comments!

Don't think too much about old "normal tradition" where women can't ask men out, women are men are equal right? it shouldn't be a problem for this kind of stuff. I chickened out once when I was a kid I didn't dare to ask a girl out then I regret it, so now I just don't give a crap, when I find a girl attractive I just ask her out, if she says yes its awesome if she says no I respect her decision and leave her alone.

 

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9 years 44 weeks ago
 
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