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Q: Should we fight our mother in laws?
Or just let them win?
I have tried... I cant win.
I had a major rant yesterday because my MIL covered the extractor fan drip tray in clingfilm.
She does nothing to help her grandkids education.
Chinese grandmas are useless. Should we fight them?
6 years 14 weeks ago in Family & Kids - China
I've got a good relationship with mine but, I will put my foot down if there is something I do not agree with. I let a lot of things slide cos they just aren't big enough to worry about considering the amount of help she gives us with the kids. She does know that when I am not happy, it's for a reason. I have to say though, my wifes parents really are not your typical PRC in-laws. If they were, I would not have been married in the first place.
mike168229:
At the moment she does as we have a new baby and the help is invaluable.
The in-laws actually live in our smaller old flat about three k's away from us.
We have lived together in the past, when our first child was born but, after I did a stint in the UK working, the missus decided that it was not good for us to be in such close proximity.
I have a good relationship with my MIL. I have to opposite dealing with education then you have...she all about education. Everything they do revolves around learning and education. My son's not in school yet but she constantly teaching him.
Does she live with you? This could be the problem.we moved close enough to her parents that she don't have to stay there but can come over whenever she want and vice versa.... it's random when she comes over but I would say she spends 5 days out of the month with us. I know I hear a lot about bad MIL's...what saved me though is my wife's brother has 2 kids so she deals with them more since they both work...where my wife works at home. I got a bit lucky I guess....she is a very pleasant woman to be around.
I never knew what 'MILF' stands for on porn sites ....
icnif77:
Thanks! I was just messing with Scottish!
She took over his apartment, so best solution 
would be to rent new one-room apartment for 'MIL without any of F'. LOL
no flipping way would I live with my mother in law... one month...been there done that...love her still do..... not telling me how or when or why to run MY home.
stress is a serious killer.
get rid of her or get your own place.... ASAP
You can yap all you want about a child's well being, but if the homelife and the parenting are not happy ... the kid will learn it, a lot quicker than I am learning to type. Bottom line, get the hell out of a bad situation YOU GOTTA BE HAPPY!!!.....come back when you have got yourself in a good frame of mind. kid is not first you are FIRST you gotta be HAPPY!!!!! TO help the kid be happy... impossible to fake it..
biggj123:
I agree 100%...You can't live with her full time...no matter how much you like her it won't work... she can for a weekend or part of the month...but she has to go home lol....people need their privacy...and if you don't like your MIL...well...how could that ever work? Although she never told us how to live either...shes acutally quite reasonable. As long as everyone is happy and healthy...shes happy with that.
BHGAL:
if I was you.... I would leave today/tomorrow with a change of clothes and some BEST WISHES
biggj123:
Leave where??? Why would I do that? It's my house lol...im happy with my situation...maybe this was ment for Scot Alan?
BHGAL:
for sure meant for scots,,,,who I consider a personal friend..few years yapping here, qnd a couple beer.
I would never live in a house that I did not have some kind of "control" over ..commune shit, not for me....somebody has to go!!
My MIL has a sense of cleanliness her daughter hasn't inherited. I wish we could all live together all the time. Also because my 2 young boys are a handful.
Will it make you feel good or any better if you fight with her and win ?
On the other hand, if you let her win....finally you will be the winner, knowing in your heart that she won only because you let her win.
I've got a good relationship with mine but, I will put my foot down if there is something I do not agree with. I let a lot of things slide cos they just aren't big enough to worry about considering the amount of help she gives us with the kids. She does know that when I am not happy, it's for a reason. I have to say though, my wifes parents really are not your typical PRC in-laws. If they were, I would not have been married in the first place.
mike168229:
At the moment she does as we have a new baby and the help is invaluable.
The in-laws actually live in our smaller old flat about three k's away from us.
We have lived together in the past, when our first child was born but, after I did a stint in the UK working, the missus decided that it was not good for us to be in such close proximity.
As a warning to any foreigner planning to marry a Chinese national... be aware of the mother in law.
As a warning to any chinese national planning to marry a foreigner, be aware of your mum, and more specifically, that your family might 'dump' her on you.
I cant imagine what it must be like for foreign women who marry a Chinese 'son'. Mind blowing.
Note for all young uns thinking of marriage, the mum is part of the deal 
