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Q: Ways to Stay Sane when Treated Unfairly in China
any suggestions?
The best thing to do is to take all the negative energy and use it for something positive.
Exercise or socialize and tell other foreigners your amusing stories (just don't complain and whine too much). Going to the gym is a great way to release your anger and also to focus on better things for your health.
ID01:
thanks. i really should move my butt and exercise now. spring is the best time of the year, EXERCISES!!!
Eorthisio:
Agree with Robk, the gym is what keeps me sane, I evacuate all my anger there, I think about those bad China days when lifting or working on the machines, it gives me strength. I think I would be throwing fists around if I didn't have the gym.
BTW there will be Chinese at the gym too, most won't even notice you but some cock suckers might talk about the laowai, giggle and so on, earphones are your best friends.
Robk:
@Eorthisio - I agree. Bring your mobile phone or whatever... not just because of the whispers but also because if you lose focus while doing exercises it could be dangerous...
Last but not least... the music in those places is usually not a good choice for motivation. Usually Chinese love songs or really old Western Pop music.
I lift pretty heavy so when I get stares and whispers, I think well they best be miring cause how do you talk someone down that is lifting 5-10x what you do?
Strawberry66:
Oh,ID01,you better move your E cup breastes as well and do excercise.
Keep in mind that self-denial justify their behavior, Chinese live in their own sea of lies. I rather be treated unfairly by ignorant people than become one of them.
If you want some examples of Chinese self-denial:
-Chinese bodies are different (to justify any medical nonsense).
-FTs are losers (from unqualified folks who got their job through guanxi).
-Foreigner has too big muscles (from effeminate men, or men with beer bellies).
-Big breasts are ugly (from women with the body of a 12yo girl).
There are countless examples.
Robk:
Haha... I love it. I can't have/do it so I should put it down to raise myself up.
Insecurity certainly is the ugly cousin of jealousy.
Sometimes you just have to vent and become obnoxious. But, not always. Sometimes, you just have to tell yourself TIC and move on in life. Pick your battles.
Personally, I have found that studying the culture and traditions of China has helped me. Once I understand why they do the things they do, the easier it is for me to walk away from idiot behavior. That is not always the case. But, it does help in many situations. Some foreigners try very hard to learn the language. Others just don't give a rat's ass about anything. I have tried to find a happy medium in my life here.
I know a foreigner here that speaks excellent Chinese. And, they think they know all things Chinese, despite not living here for more than a few months. I smile inwardly at how much they get it wrong and how much I get it right when we are together. I usually just say to them that I agree to disagree with their opinion of Chinese situations. Don't get me wrong. Their ability to speak fluent Chinese has many advantages over my system. I envy their ability. But, to get through my personal life here in China, I think I do pretty well with what I have learned and from my experiences.
I get upset many times. But, I have learned when to walk away and when to fight. TIC goes a long way in my life here. I think I say it nearly every day to myself. My personal Tai Chi method I guess.
ID01:
Tai Chi method works in china, however, it's one of the things i hate about china too. wasting too much time on 'don't want to be the bad one and pretended to be nice for the fake face and guanxi', is just something too chinese even for not so sophisticated chinese.
I vent. I rant & rave. Fk 'em. My reasoning is that bottling things up inside u is bad for your health, and they need to hear whatever it is I'm telling them anyway, cuz sooooooooo many for soooooooooo long have gotten into that 'letting anything slide' mentality. blows my mind! I read/heard many times that the average Wang has been shat upon so often in life that they just accept it as the norm. Well, I'm here to say Fk that noise! If I don't like sth, I am way verbal about it. Life is too short for those kind of regrets. Besides I am kinda aggressive by nature, as I guess a lot of Western males are.
*but never towards girls and Seniors (my own rule).
The best thing to do is to take all the negative energy and use it for something positive.
Exercise or socialize and tell other foreigners your amusing stories (just don't complain and whine too much). Going to the gym is a great way to release your anger and also to focus on better things for your health.
ID01:
thanks. i really should move my butt and exercise now. spring is the best time of the year, EXERCISES!!!
Eorthisio:
Agree with Robk, the gym is what keeps me sane, I evacuate all my anger there, I think about those bad China days when lifting or working on the machines, it gives me strength. I think I would be throwing fists around if I didn't have the gym.
BTW there will be Chinese at the gym too, most won't even notice you but some cock suckers might talk about the laowai, giggle and so on, earphones are your best friends.
Robk:
@Eorthisio - I agree. Bring your mobile phone or whatever... not just because of the whispers but also because if you lose focus while doing exercises it could be dangerous...
Last but not least... the music in those places is usually not a good choice for motivation. Usually Chinese love songs or really old Western Pop music.
I lift pretty heavy so when I get stares and whispers, I think well they best be miring cause how do you talk someone down that is lifting 5-10x what you do?
Strawberry66:
Oh,ID01,you better move your E cup breastes as well and do excercise.
Well, I'm leaving soon. So, I thank my lucky stars that I don't have to deal with screwovers here much longer. I am so grateful to have my nationality...I know a lot of bright young Chinese people who want to go abroad. It must be like a prison sentence...being in a country like this, and finding it so hard to leave.
If people are being stupid, I usually humor it up to be an engaging story for my friends.
gouxiong:
Apparently it is/was like a prison for you.
Then really the best way is to leave as soon as possible. Some people simply have a trouble to live in certain environment. There is a difference between spending a holiday and really living in the country so different from majority of the contributor's home countries.
Nothing wrong with that.
Wrong part begins when a person starts blaming the simple fact that he/she does not like local environment (or in some cases even own inability to adapt to foreign environment) onto the environment.
There were guys here stating that despite of their active approach to socialize they failed and they blamed their Chinese colleagues - these same guys also posted here that their own Chinese wives (who probably love them) were advising them that they think the problem is them and not the Chinese. But these guys still believed their way was good and the Chinese are stupid. To such people there is no help - just leave as soon as possible because why to suffer in the environment you do not understand.
I can't believe people continue to fed trolls then complain.
xunliang:
Really? Look how fat Vicky is from all the feeding. Nothing surprises me on here anymore.
ID01 is trolling either on the forum and on wechat. She is a Chinese girl,my friend's friend met her.
ID01:
are you talking about yourself baby? Dissociative Disoder is no fun. i am so fed up talking to another me and arguing to myself day and night. why don't we go and see a doctor and be one again?
Chinese guys like girls with no breast no ass. These girls` body look like 12 year old boy back in USA.
coineineagh:
"It's all good." - as long as it's over 18. unless you claim it isn't, which Chinese men do. My favourite Richard Pryor joke, is him doing a girly voice and squeaking: "I got the pussaayy, and it's GOOOOD." Girls know it, and if any girl here tonight believes they have a *bad* pussy, I'd like to meet with you after the show to offer a 2nd opinion!
