The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 127

Governor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: What is the best, realistic response if someone spits on your shoes?

This has happened to me twice. Both times I was by myself. Once on my shoes and once on a shopping bag I was carrying. I was too shocked to do anything before the person was gone. It's fun to fantasize how  Chuck Norris would handle the situation...I'm  wondering about more realistic responses that would not get me beat up or arrested, while letting the person know I think he's disgusting and hopefully making him lose face.

 

8 years 34 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 3269

Emperor

5
5
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Unfortunately, this is a premeditated, cowardly and opportunistic act. It takes all our restraint not to react instinctively to such a situation.

It helps to remember that the cards are stacked against you in this situation. The lifelong, professional coward is preoccupied with strength and weakness due to an unbalanced personality. He has enough experience to gauge a situation as sufficiently safe for him and unsafe for you, to engage in such a blatant provocation.

He is probably with friends, under camera surveillance, and commits the act in such a way that it can be excused as an accident. If you react as you are predicted to, he will win the confrontation and you will get dragged away. If you don't, he gets a petty victory, making you appear weak.

It takes the greatest of effort to walk away from a deliberate and unjust provocation, but that's the best thing to do. Risking your safety will be both fruitless and far too great an acknowledgement of an unworthy individual. You lose face but walk away with personal dignity. You ARE the bigger person if you can manage it.

Let's say you do manage to stop him, wipe his mucus off on his own clothes, and get away unobstructed. You just made an enemy who is out for vengeance. Will you walk the same street comfortably again? Treat him as a passing storm, and he will probably ignore the unresponsive object. If he doesn't, and somehow thinks he can pick on you repeatedly, then get the police involved straight away. Tell them it's the same individual who has harassed you again, and insist they write a report about the matter. Use the same surveillance cameras as proof that you did not react in any way. Even if he's some corrupt official's son, this game will quickly bore him. You prove time after time that your patience is beating his every provocation.

All this is easier said than done, of course. But this is the best way.

coineineagh:

On a sidenote, a good long look at them after their offense works wonders. If you can observe them without a hint of anger or fear, you become a mirror for their conscience. You might get an apology at this point, which would be a bit disappointing. They may mock you to further challenge you, but keep your composure and move on with dignity. Your silence spoke volumes about them; more than fluent Chinese even. Their simple minds might even be concerned you will retaliate (despite making no threat whatsoever), and it will trouble them greatly. This is how I plan to deal with bullies if my kids are harassed in the future. That, and asking to see their dad.

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Answers (12)
Comments (5)
Posts: 7178

Emperor

0
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
3

Forgive them, for they know not what they do Smile

nzteacher80:

Thanks Uncle Jesus.

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3269

Emperor

5
5
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Unfortunately, this is a premeditated, cowardly and opportunistic act. It takes all our restraint not to react instinctively to such a situation.

It helps to remember that the cards are stacked against you in this situation. The lifelong, professional coward is preoccupied with strength and weakness due to an unbalanced personality. He has enough experience to gauge a situation as sufficiently safe for him and unsafe for you, to engage in such a blatant provocation.

He is probably with friends, under camera surveillance, and commits the act in such a way that it can be excused as an accident. If you react as you are predicted to, he will win the confrontation and you will get dragged away. If you don't, he gets a petty victory, making you appear weak.

It takes the greatest of effort to walk away from a deliberate and unjust provocation, but that's the best thing to do. Risking your safety will be both fruitless and far too great an acknowledgement of an unworthy individual. You lose face but walk away with personal dignity. You ARE the bigger person if you can manage it.

Let's say you do manage to stop him, wipe his mucus off on his own clothes, and get away unobstructed. You just made an enemy who is out for vengeance. Will you walk the same street comfortably again? Treat him as a passing storm, and he will probably ignore the unresponsive object. If he doesn't, and somehow thinks he can pick on you repeatedly, then get the police involved straight away. Tell them it's the same individual who has harassed you again, and insist they write a report about the matter. Use the same surveillance cameras as proof that you did not react in any way. Even if he's some corrupt official's son, this game will quickly bore him. You prove time after time that your patience is beating his every provocation.

All this is easier said than done, of course. But this is the best way.

coineineagh:

On a sidenote, a good long look at them after their offense works wonders. If you can observe them without a hint of anger or fear, you become a mirror for their conscience. You might get an apology at this point, which would be a bit disappointing. They may mock you to further challenge you, but keep your composure and move on with dignity. Your silence spoke volumes about them; more than fluent Chinese even. Their simple minds might even be concerned you will retaliate (despite making no threat whatsoever), and it will trouble them greatly. This is how I plan to deal with bullies if my kids are harassed in the future. That, and asking to see their dad.

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

2
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You are female, yes?  Very difficult to answer from the female perspective. I guess you would just verbally chastize him/her/it at the time of occurence and that's it. Not worth getting into trouble over. You will, perchance, be exposed to loads of obnoxious behavior over the course of your lifetime.  The important thing is to remember to come out on top.

China/East Asia is full of human-animals. Careful be how you interact.

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Never happened to me, I guess the fact that I am a male, tall and muscular scares them away even though I am not the confrontational type.

 

It might also depend on where you live, laowais are better accepted in some provinces than others and big cities are not always the friendliest places.

 

You are a female right? Then I see absolutely no reason for them to do this. Chinese men usually see foreign girls as attractive even though they don't dare approaching you.

 

I guess if it happened to me I would shame them verbally in Chinese. If they insist then fists will fly.

 

You need to woman up, stand your ground and appear determinated, just like Chinese women. If you appear weak and lost the frustrated Chinese men will take advantage of it, because abusing females is more common than you would think in this country. It is actually part of their traditions to treat women like shit whenever they can. That doesn't justify it, but Chinese are having a hard time entering the 21st century.

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 224

Governor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Call him an animal or a camel in Chinese . Or ask him if he is an animal, etc. I've had people  run away if I asked them that. It was not on my shoes but close to it.  The most nong place I ever went was the agricultural exhibition center in Beijing for a local and foreign food show. People truly behaved like animals. Spitting, pushing, walking in a very strange way. All I can say is they have A LOT of site to do before the Olympic Games.  

diverdude1:

u mean the way they zig-zag when they walk?  I agree, so odd!  You will wait a long time to see a Luke walk in a straight line!

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Garbo:

Exactly, the way they zigzag and can't walk in a straight line.

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 921

Shifu

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

There's Karma Daphne. What goes around comes around. You'll eventually find a similar kind of animal doing animal things on a safer ground.

And then.......... Ezekiel 25:17:

"I will execute great vengeance on them with wrathful rebukes. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon them.”

 

devil

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 61

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I really agree with what coineineagh has stated as sometimes it is just better to walk away and believe me people do get what they deserve. People may have spat on you but something even more vile and disgusting will land on them.

A few years ago I had a situation in my apartment complex where there was this one young female security guard who would give me dirty looks every day and murmur things under her breath and I would not say a thing. I’ll never forget the humiliation but one evening I was coming home from work and a group of 15 guards had finished their shift, they were male between 18-25 and the female guard was blocking the gate, I walked in and all of a sudden they all started shouting cr*p in English and Chinese clearly mocking me and the female guard was the ring leader. I went through this drama for about a year, the apartment management did nothing and it was only when they were in a group they would say stuff, on their own they would not even dare look at me.

For a few days I didn’t see the evil guard and found out that she had been fired because she didn’t let some important building/business manager in as she was asleep in the office, justice served. Needless to say I never had any trouble after that as the males started to be nicer and I couldn’t help but think that after 12 months of you shouting stuff and I never reacted can you not see that I will not retaliate???

Good news is now there are fantastic older guards where I live who are super nice and sometimes even manage to give me a salute when I go to work.

RandomGuy:

Their frustration and envy of the laowai is being expressed through anger.

 

Being a security guard is one of the lowest paying job around in China, heck even the street cleaners make more money than them because they sell whatever they find out here (iron, copper, ...).

 

Low class ugly Chinese losers will always pick on successful, good looking foreigners, because they feel threatened by our presence. They can't compete with our awesomeness and are completely wiped out of the competition when all the opposite gender representatives around are looking with envy or desire at the handsome/pretty foreigner.

 

Typical situation, I walk into a mall, the girls around start staring at me, completely ignoring their male friends or boyfriend. I can hear then saying "shuai" or "langzai". And they keep staring, come closer, trying to get me to notice them. Never wonder the local dudes hate foreign men..

8 years 34 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 224

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Their behavior is one of envy . We can leave any time we want and they can't . Sane thing with going to many countries . So let them act like idiots . You can call them on it and laugh when they say tried to get a visa a country but couldn't . 

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4421

Emperor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Hope my wife is near by to keep me calm and she has a way to relax me by f**king me so hard when ever Chinese piss me off. Because lets start from the top, ok he spit on your shoe, you get pissed, you yell and he only looks at you like huh, than you start to fight until blood fals and than the police come, you go to the police station, the police make you both say sorry at the same time standing by the spitting mans side not by your side. Thus your passport might get a record both people leave with a fine or no fine.

 

So if your married teach your wife to have whats called "Pissed off F**k night" If something in China pisses you off have your wife do all the work and work so hard to relax you. Hey it works.. What are wives for?

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 127

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Yes, I'm a woman. It's hard to know for sure if it's intentional. You know how oblivious to other people they are. They want to do something- in this case get rid of mucus- and they want to do it NOW. They can't even wait 10 seconds to look around to make sure no one will get hit by their spit.

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 21

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

if it happens me with me I ask him to apologize if he refused I clean my clothes using his clothes.

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1718

Emperor

2
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Spit on theirs.

Report Abuse
8 years 34 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77