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I cant do high balconies. Cos I want to go over.

I reckon I spend out 8% of my time thinking of ways to top myself. I cant walk up stairs without thinking about it.

I live on the 11th floor. I insisted both balconies were caged in. I hate standing on open belconies, because the desire to jump is overwhelming.

Is that a disorder?

I wont do it of course, cos I have family to care for.

I can trace this back 20 years. Second divorce, jobless and homles, age 29.

Totally on my own. No backup. Sleeping in a shed. Start again, or give up.

It is an immensly profound moment when you know you have nothing. And nobody. Only yourself. No soft shoulder. My suicidal thoughts started there.

But I done it. Got a job, done lots of temp stuff, slept on benches etc.

Now I am here. And the despiration of that time never leaves me.

Another Chronic mental illness I suffer from... empathy.

I was lucky, because I had skills to sell in the job market.

Does anyone else think suicidal thoughts every day?

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1 week 4 days ago
 
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It's time to get professional help.indecision

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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I cant do high balconies. Cos I want to go over.

I reckon I spend out 8% of my time thinking of ways to top myself. I cant walk up stairs without thinking about it.

I live on the 11th floor. I insisted both balconies were caged in. I hate standing on open belconies, because the desire to jump is overwhelming.

Is that a disorder?

I wont do it of course, cos I have family to care for.

I can trace this back 20 years. Second divorce, jobless and homles, age 29.

Totally on my own. No backup. Sleeping in a shed. Start again, or give up.

It is an immensly profound moment when you know you have nothing. And nobody. Only yourself. No soft shoulder. My suicidal thoughts started there.

But I done it. Got a job, done lots of temp stuff, slept on benches etc.

Now I am here. And the despiration of that time never leaves me.

Another Chronic mental illness I suffer from... empathy.

I was lucky, because I had skills to sell in the job market.

Does anyone else think suicidal thoughts every day?

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1 week 4 days ago
 
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Put it this way.

I have woken up a few times where I cant face work. I see the window, and I just want it to end.

Missed a day at work last year. Had to do a report why. I said depression. Boss said have you seen a doctor. I said fuck no.. if I go to doctor my visa will be cancelled.

I got a verbal warning for unauthorised day off.

Verbal warning means no bonus. No bonus means less self esteem. As the HR manager said... if you dont get a.bonus... you need leave.

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1 week 4 days ago
 
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I am not mentaly ill. I am not allowed to be. Its all in my head.

I might have a chemical imbalance in my head. Maybe not enough potassiam, or sodium. But I cant go to the doctor to ask.

I might have mental illness issues.. dont know.. never will know. A simple tablet could cure the disease I dont know I have. But I wont go to a Chinese doctor to ask. Do that... no WP

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1 week 4 days ago
 
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But I know one thing.. I have never met a sane long term foreigner in China. You are all fucking nutters... same as me Smile

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1 week 4 days ago
 
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I tend towards Schizoid, but I probably don't have a fullblown disorder. Just another awkward, dismissive-avoidant INTJ 5w6. True Schizoid people have extreme difficulties forming relationships, and forget about having a family. I have a wife and 2 kids, I can get by in interpersonal relationships. I just don't have much interest or motivation to maintain most relationships at (for most people) acceptable levels.

Psychologists evaluate you by how well you function socially. I might possibly be diagnosed as a high-functioning Schizoid Personality Disorder, perhaps a 'secret Schizoid', which if true, would mean I mask symptoms with rehearsed sociability.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I should be worried or proud of my personality. Schizoids are among the people with lowest 'life success' scores, measured by happiness and good relationships. But OTOH, if you look at the list of historic figures presumed to be (almost) Schizoid, it's quite impressive: Einstein, Tesla, Marx, Nietzsche, Darwin, Newton, the list goes on and on... Enough to get to my head and have me putting on airs of delusional grandeur. The truth is, the vast majority of people like me aren't as highly capable as history's geniuses, and we risk ending up on the fringes of society.

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maybe all of them while Im here in China,people might look at me and think Im crazy.

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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: If he did contact the embassy they would tell him to engage a lawyer.
A:If he did contact the embassy they would tell him to engage a lawyer. They at least might be able to point him towards a somewhat decent lawyer, I don't think they'd be of much help aside from that though. I doubt the lawyer would be able to do much other than help negotiate the compensation he will need to pay.   -- Stiggs