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Posts: 9631

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Q: What is wrong with crying?

Had to do a quick dash to get a soft ice as todays Ayi food was.... well, the dog didn't finish his share. (second time this week the dog doesn't eat what she cooks)

On the way, I see a mum with a toddler walking on the sidewalk. The little guy stumbles, smacks onto the sidewalk, no biggie, he got a small concrete rash on his left elbow from what I could see. Anyway, the mother picks him up and tells him, frantically, to now cry. Why, I mean, I would cry if I had fallen and lost my soft ice. 

Is crying considered bad (e.g. in a woodoo/TCM kind of way that you are loosing some qi or wearing out your triple energizer or some such evidence-less fiction) in Chinese culture. I've seen this several times, and in my world, the "normal" response would be to pick up the kid, say "oh, that is just a little bruise you will be fine" and then carry on. 

9 years 49 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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I think it's just over protectiveness, no? 

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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Chinese people simply don't know how to be human. (Brought to you by auto type)
I say it so many times. But crying is equal to losing your temper. But the funny thing is when a woman cries because her bf cheated on her she is told she has a temper. When a man beats his wife or gf because she did not walk far enough behind .... nothing.

Robk:

They can thank Confucius for this one. 

 

He taught them they should beat their kids and women. And that to be a true man you must be coveted by more than one woman... 

 

Take that and add in the fact that most rural families preferred boys and tossed out girls... you got a HUGE recipe for disaster.

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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It is inconvenient, and draws unwanted attention to the mother.  The baby should instantly stop crying and institute relevant measures to restore social harmony.

JacobJohn:

hahahahahah LOL

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Nothing. I cry all the time. I'm pretty emo. cool

Scandinavian:

it goes with being green

9 years 49 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

cool you have got me started now cool

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Lol after being around in here for a few weeks i discover that some of you have serious issues with China/chinese people and just looking to bash them regardless of how petty the problem is. Seems you have a lot of typo too due to your anti china erection.

 

 

MasqueX:

What does your comment have to do with the current discussion? If this forum doesn't suit your needs, there are about a trillion other forums online. ¿Entiende pendejo?

9 years 49 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

Did I make a typo, please correct me as I am only on this forum to better my English. 

9 years 49 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

I don't think it's so much about Bashing Chinese people, as trying to understand.

 

A typical western mind tries to understand what is happening and why. It's a cultural thing.  From a very young age, both our informal and formal education is based on questions..what, why, what happens if, and so on.

 

In my case, I know if I see someone doing something that seems strange, there is really no point in asking a Chinese friend why the person is doing what they are doing. They will give no answer.

 

Here is a good example. I asked many people why they keep their vegetables on the floor beside the bin. I could see no logical reason for it. But not a single Chinese person I asked could tell me why.

 

So I had to think about and try to figure it out myself. Then I asked " Do you keep the vegetables on the floor beside the bin because they are already dirty? And because the floor beside the bin is already dirty, that is where you put dirty things? No point in making the clean table dirty by putting dirty vegetables there. "

 

"Of course", was the answer I got.

 

This is probably why so many seemingly stupid questions are asked here. And it is noticable that not many questions appear to be answered by Chinese. 

 

 

9 years 49 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

@Scots. Another thing this typical westerner understands is that asking questions is the same as bashing. Don't question anything, leave the world static and just smile. 

 

@Scots. You should question why the floor next to the bin is dirty, in my home it isn't (unless the Ayi or mother in law are present, because they sure as heck don't care about the floor) My mother in law used to keep vegetables on a table in her bathroom. That means, stuff from the toilet, soaps etc all onto the vegetables. I know they are washed and cooked, I still found it .... well, careless really. I proved my point by jumping the great firewall and showed a youtube video of how stuff is thrown around when a toilet is flushed. 

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Few things in the world rival crying while listening to The Cure.. few things...

 

Anyways, I think Chinese just dislike having attention drawn to them. In their minds, people may think they are bad parents because their children actually make mistakes. Come on! Cry when you fall down??!! Get off your arse and study for the Gaokao! Now see, that's a barrel full-of-tears~ cool

mike168229:

The Cure, that Metallica song?

 

Doesn't make me cry.

 

You're doing it wrong.

 

(kidding)

9 years 49 weeks ago
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MasqueX:

'Charlotte Sometimes' is the song for crying your eyes out. Try it out!

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Well despite the typo ... I can't find anything wrong with things you have a hard time understanding, because of cultural differences those things are difficult to understand for us.

 

I think the most "logical" explanation is not to draw too much unwanted attention on yourself.

Chinese people in my opinion tend to try to hide in the masses, specially if something negative happens.

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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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I was also told as a child not to cry. Crying is for girls I was told. I think the mother would have been better off not fussing the child as this usually makes them cry as to get more attention. Act like the childs fall is nothing to worry about and the child learns that they don't need to react if they are not hurt.

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Attention seeking crying is one thing (@Lord_Hanson) and then there is more emotional crying.

 

i think it is acceptable to cry at the death/loss of a loved one - for both men and women: there is nothing wrong with showing such a raw emotion. Who can be unmoved by the death of someone close?

 

However, there are times when this can be manipulated/overused for propaganda: 'Crocodile tears', usually seen at the death of a 'Great Leader'

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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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In ancient Greece and Rome crying was seen as very manly, it showed you cared deeply about something.

expatlife26:

yeah I've heard the same thing from a lot of ancient cultures.

 

Gilgamesh, the ultimate badass character of his day wept at the death Enkidu, and the takeaway wasn't "Oh so in the end gilgamesh was just a pussy, fuck him"

9 years 49 weeks ago
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Robk:

I think when you have the name "Gilgamesh" you could wear hot pink, cry all the time and walk around with a limp wrist and women's clothing and everyone would be like... 

 

"Yeah but his name is GILLLLLGAAAAAA MEEESSSSSH!"

9 years 49 weeks ago
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Lord_hanson:

Robk, you made me spit my drink out.

9 years 49 weeks ago
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9 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Somebody once told me you shouldn't cry because it makes you unhappy. The reverse is also true, of course. Smile, and you'll 'be wonderful'.

 

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As how the old saying goes..'Cry and you cry alone..laugh & the world laughs with you' Think it kinda cuts across all cultures..

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Nothing wrong with crying in China as long as you hold a bucket under your tears so that the water can be used for something else later. 

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The first time I cryed today was when the MC was speaking to the MCG crowd about the rich life of the recently departed Tommy Hafey.

The second time was when Tommy's (and my) beloved Tigers got done by the lowly Demons.

 

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