Good grief I'll have to rack my brains for that one, countless things ninja, countless. One off the top of my head is being escorted into a KTV room by a friend, and upon walking in there were two Chinese guys dressed in tight nurses outfits standing up posing for photos with a giant inflatable syringe positioned in a certain area (use your imagination). I even got invited to join in the photo.

My first working day in China I was coerced into being Santa with mArtiAn who was then a coworker. He walked up one side of this convention hall and I did the other. We were supposed to give out candies and little presents, make our way to the stage and hand out one big present (a cuddly toy) to some prize winner. There were about 3 - 4 hundred 15 - 25 year olds there.

Well I never expected to get mugged!

100 young adults attacked me on sight and grabbed my 'goodie bag' to start helping themselves, pulling at the cuddly toy to take that as well. After a couple of minutes of this I literally hulked them all off me threw a large handful of candies in the opposite direction and ran for the stage!

Only in China would you mug Santa!

I think I've mentioned it before in a thread about staring in China. The funniest thing that I have seen happened in a remote town in Yunnan last year. I was walking along the road and a woman on a bicycle saw me. She spent so much time looking at me and not the road in front that she collided with some bins full of rotting vegetable matter. She then got up, shook off some of smelly organic matter then walked a bit closer for another stare.

Getting charged 1200 RMB for tea,and a game of marbles in Beijing,8 years ago while waiting for my wife to be ,to turn up,live and learn

  Don't know about 'ever' but this afternoon one of my students, a girl called Sally, didn't turn up, so I called to find out where she was. Another of my students (they're all about 10 years old) is her cousin and he said in Chinese "You're calling my mother's number aren't you?" which was true; I have the same number for both him and his cousin. Then he tried to finish up in English but got 'cousin' and 'aunt' mixed up and said "My mum is Sally's c*nt."

  I found that kind of funny.

Off the top of my head, we had moved in to a new apartment. It was fairly small, but had a great sectional couch. So, the wifey's sister came over and I went to work. They somehow decided they didn't like the sectional. So, they ordered two more couches off the itnernet THEN called the landlord to take the old couch. He said he couldn't as he had no where to put a spare couch. 

So I came home and my apartment was literally ALL couches. You couldn't even walk. 

Went to what I thought was a stripping party..but I misunderstood the Chinese.

I heard girls taking off their clothes..while it was really boys dressed in girl's clothes.

I went to a Drag Queen competition and ended up being a judge with a friend at a gay bar.

My friend got drunk on vodka and made out with one of the dudes dressed in drag..other friend got a video..

Funny strange and funny haha.

does funny strange count, or only funny haha ?

first time I was in the orient, Taipei, mid 1980's, I was wandering around oogling all the odd sights I had never seen before...  well, as you can imagine I was a bit distracted. I wandered into, then right out, of a sidewalk bar. At the door sitting on a barstool was a full-grown orangutan. well, I passed by too close to him and he reached out and took me by the upper-arm, pulled me over to him, very gently, but you could feel his incredible power. I'm not exaggerating when I say he could easily have pulled my arm off.... literally. He then began to feel me basically all over with his lips... they feel with their lips u know..  As you can imagine the assembled crowd was getting a major kick out of this and laffing their asses off. So, after about 30 seconds, the lao ban could tell I was waaaaay nervous, he spoke a command to the ape whom upon hearing said command released my arm, got down from his stool, walked over to his cage, got in and shut the door behind him !   that's an incident I'll never forget....

I was in Hubei, on a bus, and got a sudden rumble in my tummy, followed by monstrous gas. Having had diarrhea for a week, I knew what this was. I had no choice but to let out a horrid fart, and crapped myself.

I could feel the diarrhea soaking in my pants. I ended up taking the bus all around the city, and then taking it back to the hotel. I spent the entire time clenching my butt to prevent more diarrhea fluids from leaking onto my seat.

When it was finally my turn to get off the bus, I quickly ran from the back row, onto the outside of the bus, clenching my ass the whole way. I was thinking to myself, "THEY KNOW," and just wanting to get out of there ASAP.

I got back to the hotel to clean up the horrible mess, and... uh... what? Nothing. Okay, so what was the odd, wet feeling in my pants? Sweat. Yeah, lots of sweat, plus some water from the shower. I was losing a lot of weight, and sweating like crazy. Anyway, I went to the toilet and unleashed Hiroshitma.

You had to be there. My ex-girlfriend was laughing at me.

During my first week in China, one of my wife's relatives, who was a low ranking military office invited us out to dinner with some other friends.  He ended up taking us out to a "military only" restaurant.

When the restaurant staff saw me, they thought I must be important since I was the only foreigner to ever step foot in the place.  So they upgraded our group to an ultra-VIP room that was normally reserved for senior officers.

In any case, as we walked across the restaurant everything went pretty much silent.  I asked my wife's relative if it was okay for me to be here and he simply replied, "I don't know, I never asked anyone."

So we were led to our room and proceeded to have a very nice dinner.  About 3/4's of the way through dinner a high ranking officer arrived followed by a small group of other officers.  They all wanted to know who I was and wanted me to share a drink with them.  

Of course, I drank with them all and made sure I dropped my host's name as much as possible.  That started a long line of officers coming into our room just to share a drink with the foreigner who my host called "a special consultant".

According to my host, a couple of the people I drank with were in the top 5 level for the entire province and at least one senior level from the glorious leaders personal military.

I didn't really care because I was pleasantly plastered by the end of the night.  And from what I heard days later, my host suddenly received a promotion a couple of days later.  I don't know if the two are related, but it sure was fun.