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Posts: 3

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Q: What's the motive in marriage of western culture?

I am very curious why western guy want to get marry, because in China a man and a woman  sometimes may get marry for a settle-down or parents ask them to get marry. I wonder if there is any different motive in marriage between Chinese and western culture?

10 years 25 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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If you go back in time, maybe a couple of 100 years. I would think you will find it very similar what motivates marriages. It's the union of two families to create connections, stability etc. In China marriage is in large motivated by the need for ensuring the families financial future. 

 

The west, is of course also in large Christian. The bible says there shall be no hanky panky prior to nuptials, and it goes on to say that marriage is an agreement between husband and wife and God, so if you break the agreement you go to hell... Or at least that is the gist of it. 

 

In the modern western world. The motivation for marriage is the romantic idea that love is eternal, I think it is still about stability in peoples lives, but the political tapestry behind it has completely vanished. The motivation is the desire of the the two people rather than the needs and wishes of the surroundings.

 

The modern mix of romance and religion results in a church wedding. The less romantic, but more practical people will opt for a civil wedding. 

miacheung:

So the marriage is depend on love? What about their family? Shouldn't they ask for their parents' agreement?

10 years 25 weeks ago
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dom87:

in western countries we usually dont care about our parents opinion. yes its nice to have the parents on the boat but if they disagree most people just dont give a shit.

 

men and women are usually financial independent so no one cares about money

10 years 25 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

dom78, not disagreeing, but I would not say "we don't care about our parents opinion" we do, but it is not the deciding factor. I also think that parents in the west 'let go' of their children when they are grown up (about 18 years old) at this time a person is expected to be able to take care of him/herself, make life decisions on his/her own etc. not that calling mum and asking for advice is not possible. 

 

 

to OP. My parents did not know I was getting married until the day after we were actually married. in most (probably all) western countries, when you are of legal age (18 in most) you are allowed to do what you want, there is no hukou or anything stopping you from getting married without informing anyone but the person performing the wedding ceremony.

10 years 25 weeks ago
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pbrown22:

Just wanted to clarify that there is nothing written in the Bible that says you'd go to hell if you did divorce so do get your facts straight before posting that kind of stuff. 

10 years 25 weeks ago
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Scandinavian:

@pbrown. Maybe you want to re-read your bible. 

 

1. Divorce is considered adultery if any party re-engage in a physical relationship (Luke 16:18  and other places)

2. Adultery is a sin, we know what happens to sinners. It's one of the 10 commandments.

 

There is likely several places where the good book disagrees with itself.  

10 years 25 weeks ago
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10 years 25 weeks ago
 
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In China, marriage is still, in many occassions, arranged and or blessed by parents instead of the two involved, and for materialistic considerations, economic issues and to perpetuate family name of husband.  In Western countries, marriage is often the result of love, or at least a physical attraction thought as love.  It is not arranged by any one, without economic considerations.  It is the desire of a man and a woman to spend the rest of theirn lives together and procreate a family.  But that feeeling may change after time.  And the question of the practicality of a church wedding vs a civil ceremony only is based on the religious beliefs of the two involved, and nothing else.

miacheung:

If a married man fall in love with a girl who is not his wife, could I say that their marriage is out of support? Love is like smoke, easy come easy go.

10 years 25 weeks ago
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Not so very long ago arranged marriage was common in western culture , But I guess we just moved on from it . I married my wife in the back yard of a celibrent ( spell check not working) out of love and nothing less .There was no seeking of concent from our folks we just did what we wanted . However our families are happy the way things turned out

CARLGODWIN1983:

Was Western marriage ever arranged?  I didn't feel it was.  It was just restricted to within certain classes.  This is exemplified by many Royal weddings, but even these are sometimes breaking with tradition.  Prince William and Princess Katherine are such an example.

10 years 25 weeks ago
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@Carl. Check out arranged marriage on Wikipedia in the first paragraph second sentence

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10 years 25 weeks ago
 
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Usually two things, the first is that the two people love each other and two that you can see yourself with this person for the rest of your life without killing them.  But, even that gets complicated as even Westerners have different personal ideas of love.  I was going to marry my gf of 3yrs but wanted to return to China again for a year (instead of 4 months).  But, we broke up, not because it was a question of whether either of us would cheat it was more she thought when two people love each other they cannot stand to be apart from each other.... I viewed it as what is One year in the many to come... but hey Love is confusing all around.... 

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  The main motivation for marriage in the west revolves around the acquisition and shaping of fine cheeses. Throughout history in most western societies a family's social status has most often been defined by the cheese in their pantry and their skills in modeling them to look like famous political figures, members of the aristocracy, and mountain lions. Chairman Mao on his visit to England in the 30's was said to be greatly impressed by a life-sized model of himself in Buckingham Palace, made entirely of brie. He wasn't so impressed on his visit to Hadrians Wall however (Britain's answer to The Great Wall), famously quoting it as being "A bit crap really." The late Henry Ford of the Ford Motor Company was accredited the position of Great Cheese Baron and Earl to the famed cheese mansions of Hawaii and the current president 'Obama' is said to have a collection of cheeses depicting each president since back in the days of Andrew Jackson, all carved personally with his feet. President Jackson himself boasted a pantry of cheeses the size of a football pitch, and would invite guests from all over the world to sample them whilst he and his four brothers would entertain such gatherings with chamber music in their five piece ensemble, known quite simply as The Jackson Five. It is a grand tradition that dates back to the middle ages, but it is one that is losing importance in this modern age and has become less and less so ever since the advent of processed dairy products and Justin Beiber. Sadly it is a tradition that is unlikely to last out this century, for despite its historical significance and the ceaseless efforts of the United Nations, it is ultimately pointless and stupid. Not unlike the way i've just spent the last ten minutes in fact.

Scandinavian:

Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie

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We marry for love, to have the best, ultimate, most incredible sex possible with real love and meaning involved. Companionship, true life living teamwork. 

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