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Posts: 1932

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Q: When someone asks you to be their foreigner friend, how do you politely decline?

Especially if that person is, like 22 or younger? Way too young to be talking to me. Sometimes they say, "Will you be my friend?" or "I want a foreign friend." Or something equally weird and creepy. Sometimes they just walk up and ask for my phone number/QQ/MSN. So creepy. So weird. So uncomfortable. Once in a while, one of them will be very persistent and follow me around like a lost little puppy. I don't want them to know where I live or work so I end up wandering around till they get them message. How can I get them off my back?

12 years 9 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 2604

Shifu

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Tell them the truth and nothing but the truth. If you want to be polite about it don't lie to their face. Just tell it like it is.

kchur:

"I don't want to be you friend. Go away." Doesn't seem that polite to me.

12 years 9 weeks ago
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mattaya:

At least your honest. If they look back at that moment a couple of years from now they will respect your response because you were brutally honest with them and not disrespectfully dishonest.

12 years 9 weeks ago
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981977405:

Kchur, don't they know what you are really like? Didn't they hear the stories? Watch television? Learn about you from the radio? My God, child, you are famous or is it ill-famous?

12 years 9 weeks ago
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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3318

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Just say, "sorry, I don't know you"

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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Do they want to practice their english? I guess they feel fresh if you become their friends. I have to say their way is gruff.

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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I always say, bu hao yi si, wo bu ming bai ying wen

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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
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It depends on the situation. If it is someone with whom I had a nice chat I will be happy to most of the time. However, when it is a stranger who just walks up to me and asksI tell them that I am a tourist and dont have a local mobile number. If they ask me for my qq, I tell them I dont have qq.
If a stranger approaches me to "Hi, can I practice my english with you?" I speak to them in spanish. This practice of appraoching a staranger for friendship or language I find it a bit disturbing as I do not like to give any personal information to strangers be they Chinese or Western.
True story. In september, when I recently moved to Beijing I pulled the same stunt and the young guy answered in Cuban-accented spanish! He grew up in Cuba. Anyway, we met once or twice after that and he eventually lost interest.
I just take it on a case by case bais.

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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
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\o/ My New Year's Resolution is complete. I had to give Michael Thomas a thumbs up for his answer.

If you are honest with them and tell them you have no interest in being their buddy for whatever reason (and yes give them the reason... the real reason, not some polite bullshit),
 1) they might stop following you around, eventually saving you time and energy;
 2) they might step back and learn something from your interaction; and
 3) see 1.

Being polite doesn't mean you have to lie; you can be polite and honest at the same time. If, after you've tried the polite/honest approach and they don't take the hint, then you can get rude Smile It works for me.

GuilinRaf:

I love it when you get rude!cheeky

12 years 9 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

behavelisabehave. Rawr!

12 years 9 weeks ago
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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5539

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i tell them in perfect english . "i am chinese, i cant speak english. so i cant be your foreigner friend by default." twice they seriously started talking to me in chinese.

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12 years 9 weeks ago
 
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