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Posts: 2878

Shifu

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Q: Why are we supposed to give up seats for little kids?

As long as it's not rush hour on a work day, I'm happy to give up my seat for an old person. I grew up in a subway city back home and we would do the same thing. That's not really a chinese thing, that's pretty much everywhere I've been.

 

But I don't get at all the whole thing of giving up seats for kids. Sometimes you'll even see an old person with like a healthy 11 year old boy...theres an open seat and the 11 year old gets it. What's up with that? I mean growing up if I was riding the train with a family member i'd never get the seat over one of my parents. Honestly i'd probably have gotten punished if a seat opened up and I took it over ANY adult being a child.

 

Hell to this day I always give up the front seat of a car to my mom who's 6 inches shorter than me. Little kids have energy it's adults that have bad joints and knee pain and stuff.

 

It's just weird cause it seems to go against what is supposed to be the culture.

9 years 30 weeks ago in  Food  - China

 
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Posts: 1439

Shifu

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I used to find it weird, but it just fits into the mentality of keeping away children from any kind of effort, stimuli, difficulty or generally anything with a life learning experience. Keeping them in a bubble, entitled to do whatever they want, anywhere at anytime, because they're just kids.

Spiderboenz:

Dont damage the snowflake.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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expatlife26:

That's a good point riri about no life learning experiences. Hell I feel that way as a young adult here I can't imagine growing up in this environment.

 

I dont wanna sound like a tool here but i really think that so much more of who I am  came from the time I spent independent of my parents/school.

 

I would actually disagree with you that the kids are allowed to do whatever they want, i think it's more that what is expected of kids is more harshly and clearly but very narrowly defined. You do good on tests than that's it. You wanna act out in public? That's fine because that's not how you are evaluated. You underperform on a test than you're a bad person.

 

It's kinda the same for adults too. Am I loser? Of course I am because I don't own a home!

 

Just...really narrow definitions of what is good/bad. 

9 years 30 weeks ago
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xinyuren:

The Chinese are narrow minded about everything.  The food they eat, the recreation they choose, when to get married.... it goes on and on.  Limiting people's exposure to new possibilities has the effect of controlling the range of their behaviour.  This, in effect, makes them more predictable.  A government's and marketer's dream.   There are no coincidences.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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Eorthisio:

expatlife is right, there is no space for grayish areas in China, things are good or bad and they are very well defined, as well as very narrow.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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manager69:

Yes I agree. The Mainland Chinese seem to enjoy and value stability above everything else including creativity, love, and personal development. Their ancestors would be appalled at what is happening today, but very few on the Mainland have a relationship with their ancestors anymore..........they just like to bask in the afterglow of 5,000 years of history and work that other people did before them. It is only when a culture is dead that you have to prop it up with tourism and slogans. The Han Chinese are thoroughly modern people with the usual modern complaints and mediocre dreams.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 13

Governor

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I believe the logic is that kids are more likely to be thrown around by the movement of the vehicle and maybe can't reach the handholds. The reality is that bent-backed old timers have to make room for the little emperor.

expatlife26:

yeah but I'm talking about on trains, I guess on a bus maybe that makes sense.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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It's just one more layer of the protective bubble wrap they're all wrapped in.

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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9631

Emperor

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Yeah, I don't do that. 

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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1845

Shifu

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It pisses me off so much. On a funny note my mother is visiting me in china at the moment. We got on the subway and a maybe 10 year old kid tried to sit down before her. My mum shouted at him and got the seat. I had to laugh at the faces of the Chinese on the train. Priceless

expatlife26:

Yeah, to hell with 10 year old boys. I was a 10 year old boy and believe me NOBODY gave up their seat for me. If i took an open seat from an adult, especially a woman, then...well I don't know what would have happened I never would have had the nerve to do that in front of my family!

 

like I said to this day I feel lower seating priority than my parents. 

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
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Because, they are little.

 

They have different sets of norms in China. I guess, they think in case of an accident, kid is 'safer' if in chair.

 

I was 'confused' with that pic. too in Urumqi bus: '60Y old lady is standing by 5Y old kid playing on the chair' for half an hour ride.

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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
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I never give up seats for kids unless they're sick. Never saw a sick kid on the bus (that I could tell).  I had no problem giving up my seat to pregnant women, or old people.

Scandinavian:

You mean sick like doing unreal skateboard tricks and shit ? 

9 years 30 weeks ago
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Hulk:

Yeah, then they totally deserve it.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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expatlife26:

Yeah man these kids bust out some sick moves, or even drop an ill verse or two the seat is theirs. Word to mother son.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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mickeyg:

Yes and when they sit beside you , they are up , down , on off , wriggle squirm , carry on and sometimes stare at you , they can stand like the rest of us !! User Pays 

 

Better question , why do older boys ignore elders who are standing BUT its easier to play ur phone game while sitting , isnt it !

9 years 30 weeks ago
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As a kid in the UK I was ways taught to give up my seat to elderly people, pregnant women & ones with very small kids. There is no way, when I was 11 years old, that an adult would give up a seat for me. I was big enough to stand & hold on!

 

I use the metro a lot in GZ & will still give up my seat to those in need, this includes kids who look under about 6 years of age. Any older than that & they can stand. 

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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
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Because Chinese kids are spoiled brats who get so coddled from day one that they can't tie their own shoelaces by 10 years old, they are overprotected and immediately get stressed out if they have to lift a finger. At school they can't do anything that normal kids would (like jumping, running or simply being kids) because every adults are scared that they might hurt themselves (even a small scratch) thus the kids don't learn about danger and never become self-conscious of what they can and can't do, even by 10 the parents are still behind them screaming "You can't do that" for basic things like eating something that fell on the ground (that any 10y/o kid back home would know that they can't eat it).

 

There are also the parents who are so protective that the teachers can't punish their kids (because the parents never do so) and there can't be education without discipline. I have seen nightmarish brats who were hitting their Chinese teachers and the mom who was like "Awwww, look how cute is my boy *cute eyes*" to who I said "Cute? Your stupid brat is hitting his teacher and won't listen to anyone, he is a nightmare."

 

I don't give seats to kids except up to 2-3y/o as well as pregnant women and elderly people.

expatlife26:

That's an interesting point I notice as well chinese parents will kinda proudly describe their kid as being naughty. Even people at work do that.

 

I wonder if it's like some kinda "well he's not a chump" kinda thing.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
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Our toddler is getting pretty good at riding on the metro.

 

We get on the metro at the terminus station so there is plenty of seats. As we enter stations further down the line the wee one spreads her arms out and clings onto the seat like a limpet. When the train stops and the inrush of seat seekers begins she puts on her meanest stare to keep her little area clear for herself Smile

 

She learned the hard way. She showed weakness once and was pushed aside from her seat by some 20 year old dude who complained he was tired.

 

I always stand on the metro or bus. I can't be bothered with this scrummage for every half inch of bum space.

expatlife26:

god that's awful! some jerk 20 year old pushing aside a toddler.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

Yup expat. I gesticulated and my wife complained. The guys girlfriend (who was standing) said he was tired and had to sit down. Then she started taking photos of our kid on her phone !!

 

I just put on my loud voice and explained to our daughter, in English, how Chinese men were physically very weak and how we should feel sorry for them being so afflicted.

 

She does not give an inch now :-)

 

 

9 years 30 weeks ago
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expatlife26:

Very good, sir.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9631

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Maybe, if we put on our scientific glasses for a while there is sanity in the madness. 

 

Chinese kids are from birth, NEVER encouraged to be physically active. If it doesn't involve sitting on a school chair it is not done. I often walk my dog around a soccer pitch where college students play, man do they suck. Not at the game as such, but they have no speed, stamina and I have yet to see one try to use the head.

Maybe, the curse of Chinese parenting, means that "kids" up to 18 really do deserve to sit.  

expatlife26:

that ties back into our theory a few posts up. That expectations are so strictly but narrowly defined that theres just no drive to do anything other than school.

 

I imagine this kinda demented arms race...you can't teach your kid to do chores because what if all the other parents don't. And that allows 20 minutes more studying per day. They'll all do 20 minutes/day better on exams and your kid will be left behind.

 

Ditto sports, time with friends, positive life experiences.

 

You're an acceptable child, because you study a lot. Don't worry about anything else, we'll take care of everything can't risk you wasting time or getting hurt in between exams. 

 

I bet at the same time it looks like those kids are given no boundaries at all, they probably feel tons of pressure. It's just not pressure that really helps them grow as people.

9 years 30 weeks ago
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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 166

Governor

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Kids are just way too spoiled in China these days.

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9 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 79

Governor

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chinese little kids are really overindulgent here. not only the seats problem but also the noise problem.  I can always meet those kids with all the kicking and screaming on train/metro/bus and their parents/grandparents clearly do nothing about it.

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