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Governor

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Q: Why do you think they have such poor social skills?

Trying to make heads and tails on why the Chinese typically have near to zero social skills and are clueless on how to interact normally or even approach other people.

 

Could it be that they spend too much time at home during childhood, head crammed into books and barely allowed to leave their parents' sight at all to socialize with other kids unrestrained by authority?

 

I find it intriguing, because the lack of social normalcy among them is quite prevalent.

1 week 2 days ago in  Culture - China

 
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Disagtree with Ironman, Chinese would be the first to tell you about their lack of social skills and I 've had great conversations w/ random strangers from completely different cultures with completely different ideologies. 

It's completely different from Hkers and Taiwanese. 

I'm gonna guess it's a left over effect from the cultural revolution. They turned on each other, even family members. Even now classmates rat each other out and they aren't allowed to feel comfortable around others, they're constantly being judged. They can never reveal themselves. Add the fact that they're constantly made to feel small.

Another thing, no parental guidance , no role models

RandomGuy:

Daddy is at the KTV with some xiaosan, great role model 

1 week 1 day ago
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earthizen:

Nailed it, especially with the after effects of cultural revolution. Since there are very few spiritual morons who know nothing other than money among Taiwanese, HKers, Singaporeans.....etc, which is especially true with their well educated ones, they would agree with you, and look down upon those wumao laowais with scorn.

1 week 1 day ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

And  to whom should they turn for guidance, pray tell?  To the Americans with all of their savagery .... To the British with all of their demented ideas of empire.... To the Australians, perhaps if it were not for their dreadful history with the aboriginals?  Perhaps to the Canadians, that might be a good idea but then again they would have to become bilingual...

3 days 4 hours ago
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Englteachted:

Marcos, you're arguing with yourself ... I have no clue as to what you're talking about

2 days 23 hours ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

English Teacher Ted,

 

I do not think that you have much idea about anything.  Honestly, what were you in your previous life before you morphed into an English teacher in China?  A PIzza Hut delivery boy perhaps. 

2 days 17 hours ago
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Englteachted:

I am teacher in America, fully certified and you?

2 days 14 hours ago
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1 week 1 day ago
 
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Disagtree with Ironman, Chinese would be the first to tell you about their lack of social skills and I 've had great conversations w/ random strangers from completely different cultures with completely different ideologies. 

It's completely different from Hkers and Taiwanese. 

I'm gonna guess it's a left over effect from the cultural revolution. They turned on each other, even family members. Even now classmates rat each other out and they aren't allowed to feel comfortable around others, they're constantly being judged. They can never reveal themselves. Add the fact that they're constantly made to feel small.

Another thing, no parental guidance , no role models

RandomGuy:

Daddy is at the KTV with some xiaosan, great role model 

1 week 1 day ago
Report Abuse

earthizen:

Nailed it, especially with the after effects of cultural revolution. Since there are very few spiritual morons who know nothing other than money among Taiwanese, HKers, Singaporeans.....etc, which is especially true with their well educated ones, they would agree with you, and look down upon those wumao laowais with scorn.

1 week 1 day ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

And  to whom should they turn for guidance, pray tell?  To the Americans with all of their savagery .... To the British with all of their demented ideas of empire.... To the Australians, perhaps if it were not for their dreadful history with the aboriginals?  Perhaps to the Canadians, that might be a good idea but then again they would have to become bilingual...

3 days 4 hours ago
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Englteachted:

Marcos, you're arguing with yourself ... I have no clue as to what you're talking about

2 days 23 hours ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

English Teacher Ted,

 

I do not think that you have much idea about anything.  Honestly, what were you in your previous life before you morphed into an English teacher in China?  A PIzza Hut delivery boy perhaps. 

2 days 17 hours ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

I am teacher in America, fully certified and you?

2 days 14 hours ago
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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 1440

Governor

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These are typical apartments in prc. What does this tell you about the people who live in there?  Do thieves and robbers living in a den have real friends?  Do people who grow up in a face cult (ie lies, phony appearances) trust each other, when each knows what one another is up to? A part of the answer to your question lies in these photos.

 

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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 1440

Governor

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.

earthizen:

This one does not joke.

5 days 13 hours ago
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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 302

Minor Official

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many parents, Middle Schools and High Schools discourage relationships between boys and girls saying that they are 'distracting' from their studies.

There are even some universities that 'ban' students from having boy friends or girl friends.

Within a few years of leaving university, Chinese people are expected to be married.

Even Chinese children are cocooned/'policed' by parents and grand-parents and have little time to grow by themselves.

 

by and large adolescence is the time when hormonal teens learn how to interact with people of the opposite sex. Without this China is left (working/professional) adults who's opening conversation with non-Chinese includes 'will you be my friend?' (sometimes followed by a childish laugh), and whose conversation is severely limited in terms of topics and opinions that are their own.

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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 66

Minor Official

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The Chinese typically meet most of their lifetime friends as classmates. After graduation they rarely make new friends and are therefore awkward socially outside their classmate circle. The Chinese as adults tend to use their classmates for networking.

 

Interesting to watch difference in Chinese social behavior  in Classmate vs western style get togethers.

 

in the west we are generally more mobile and are more accustomed to meeting new people and developing increased social skills and networking.

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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 1440

Governor

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Another reason, culture and education. Here is the commencement speech given by Justice John Roberts recently at his son's ninth graduation ceremony.  This wise father speaks from his heart.

 

If a mainlander judge gives the exact same speech in Mandarin at some graduation ceremony, what comments do you think would come from the students and their parents? The first thing that would go through a typical daluren mind is, 'how useful is this chap to my future? how can I use him?' (remember guanxi?)

 

http://time.com/4845150/chief-justice-john-roberts-commencement-speech-transcript/

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1 week 1 day ago
 
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It is very easy for foreigners to try to make sense of Chinese people by applying our "western" philosophies and moralities upon them. Once you stop placing these western concepts into your thinking and try to understand the culture and traditions here in China, you can have a better understanding of why and how they do things. With that said, it is very try in what is said, "unless you are Chinese by birth, you will never be fully Chinese". Meaning, as hard as we might try to relate to and understand Chinese people, it is nearly impossible to get it 100% correct.

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1 week 1 day ago
 
Posts: 2513

Shifu

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Social skills simply isn't promoted in China. They promote academics... competition and making money. So most energy is put towards these things which means memorizing useless facts and getting high test scores. 

 

Social skills is actually part of creativity... because you need to connect conversations from one to the other with interesting topics. Creativity is severely lacking in China. 

 

That's why in a nutshell. 

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1 week 19 hours ago
 
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