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Q: Why no dancing or celebrations at Chinese weddings?
I went to my first Chinese wedding and it seems all so scripted and as if the entire event was set up just to collect money for the newlywed couple. So booooooring. The dinks were limited to one bottle of wine for six people at a table and it would have been so much more fun to have some music and dance. I was really disappointed. Korean and Japanese weddings are a lot more fun.
Chinese people can't dance, that's why there aren't any GoGo bars.
Common, at my wedding, we had a soap bubble rain ! And the hired animator, during his speech, called France "the magnificent island country". I laughed a lot during the ceremony 
On a more serious note... We did that in the small town of my wife. There was a public, formal ceremony, with the red envelopes thing, the ceremony which is a very "interesting" interpretation of the the catholic one. The whole thing was rather short. The real deal happened the 2 days before, where it was her family and my family only. It was much more relaxed, very simple but very sincere too. Also, my wife's friend came later, and we have own time together apart from the formal ceremony. Good times too, where you got to learn a few glorious achievement of your wife when she was a student ^^
The food is what people come for. Eating equals enjoyment for Chinese; drinking is a minimal side-dish. Most of the donations are from family, and are considered loans to be repaid with interest. All that was given will be given back, be it at another wedding, a baby shower, a funeral, or because someone fell ill suddenly.
It's a scripted performance to satisfy expectations of 'face', and show status through displays of wealth. They hurry through it, for fear of anything going wrong. I dreaded weddings in the West due to the sky-high expectations of the event, but at least there was some modicum of festivity and enjoyment involved. Chinese have succeeded in draining the fun out of weddings completely, making them about as fun as ritualistic cult sacrifices.
coineineagh:
Sure. I've been to a number of weddings, here. Perhaps it's because the guests are these traditional, rural types, but they aren't interested in guzzling beer. Some of the older guests will open a bottle of baijiu because they can with their status, but they still try to open just 1 or 2 bottles, and spread the drink around other tables. Everyone knows that unopened bottles will be returned to the shop, cutting expenses. The wedding is about food; all the guests bulk up on fancy dishes. The bride & groom must visit every table to toast with the guests, as they're too busy shoveling food into their mouths to go over and greet them. An exception would be the children's hongbao, which some of the older kids are anxious to get hold of. But enough little red envelopes are left to give the unsuspecting babies their first lesson in bribery. A few grannies raid the paper towel stock before leaving. If you want to take anything in a doggy bag (untouched dishes to eat at home, or just scraps for pets), you'd better be quick. It helps if family can keep overeager table cleaners at bay.
I wen to one last month, it was brutal. They had to go back to their tiny hometown, but needed to work so left all the planning up to his parents,
The MC was literally screaming into the mic, i was not the only one covering my ears.
30 tables= 300people! All gone in 20 minutes, no one even watched the ceremony. By the time I had one single bite of disgusting food, everyone was gone, and it was just me, the bride , groom, their parents one one poor uncle that was the driver. It was super embarrassing for everyone involved.
Id kill myself. Luckily the wifes family is super cool and doesnt seem to care about face, planned a family holiday to thailand instead. Cost me alot more but at least its fun and means something.
Lord_hanson:
That is why they usually serve the food after the talking.
The last wedding I went to was nice I suppose. Good food, restaurant, decorations etc etc. The thing is, I know the bride was only there because she had to get married for family face,she had told people she had no feelings for the guy.
I didn't see her dancing and don't really blame her.
do u take this guy to cheat on u, spit, smoke, ride pink, folding bike, get fat and ugly and yell into phone for ever until death?
I do. (death, please hurry along)
ya, guess not many would be festive about that...
eat and run .. give blessings and run.. thanks for the free meal and baijui..... been to a few ... big shot ones too.... eat, drink and go home. I was at a huge one..only white guy there, I bet I was on their home movie wedding celebration more than they were..small town village...2 huge dinners maybe 600 at a time .... finished eating, drinking, go home.... next batch coming in 600 more
I went to a few weddings here. At one of them, I stayed over at the groom's for mahjong. When the dinner ended, the family was opening all the hong baos, commenting loudly who gave how much. All the names and how much they have were recorded on a booklet. There were some without names and obviously so because the amounts were mediocre, like 100RMB. Curses, name calling ensued and swearing that when the time came, the same amounts would be given back. So, in the end, it's just a money thing. The collections that day amounted to almost 100k but the dinner was less than 20k. So much for wedding celebrations!
Lord_hanson:
It is the same with funerals, the account book comes out and they write how much people.gave.
What are you talking about? We had all of those at the weddings I attended. Reading smoe of your replies, it seems I've been lucky...
I didn't go to the last wedding i was invited at for the simple reason that I was told about it 3 days before the actual event and already had plans, as in the workplace Chinese wait the last moment to notice you about something as if you had no other plans in life than waiting for them, oh and they even complain because "why don't you come at my wedding? I am very hurt", I would have come if you noticed me at least two weeks before it.
The other weddings I have been to? Boring.
The restaurant is booked for a set time like 3 hours. I've been chased out at 8.30 or 9pm.
1) Welcome hand over the hong bao
2) wait til everyone important is there
3) start eating
4) groom drinks or pretend drinks water to gan bei with every table
5) MC tries to rev it up but it's all scripted
6) maybe some karoake or singing (by drunks sometimes)
7) time to go home
Chinese weddings are a sad sideshow. The only objective is to invite everyone they've ever met and get money out of them. Arseholes.
No grog, baijiu doesn't count, and no joy. Only false smiles and grovelling.
All over in under 2 hours.
But a Uyghir wedding I went to a couple of months ago was very different. Held in the evening, went for a long time, singing and dancing...lots of dancing. As much grog as I could manage, and what seemed to me to be genuine joy.
And Uyghir chicks can really fill out a tight dress, I kid you not!
