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Q: Why no guy came to me?

It's Friday night, a bit of bored at home. So the idea of going to the bar right in front of my apartment for hunting guy hit me.

 

So I put on my black long tight sweater dress, black short tight jacket, red highheels for looking good.

 

Then I bought myself a milk tea and started to check my mobiles. There are several nice looking foreign guys around me but just no one came to me. I wonder why?

 

I really think I was the most stylist girl in this bar tonight. I dress very well.

6 days 2 hours ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 385

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Perhaps they heard about you on echinacities! 

 

You have a notorious fame, they suspect you want them to marry you, so they decided to ignore you and just check today's ecc posts to know if it was really you!

Viki87:

Stupid miko

5 days 4 hours ago
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5 days 4 hours ago
 
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Lots of possible reasons Vicky....

 

Maybe the nice looking foreign guys already have girlfriends and were just having a few quiet beers with their friends?

 

Maybe they were all gay...

 

Maybe they realised you were out hunting guys and avoid this type of lady? If you've dressed purposely to "hunt" a white guy they might be worried you're a passport chaser?

 

Maybe they just weren't interested in you?

 

Maybe they thought, if you were checking / playing your mobile that you wanted space for yourself?

 

You might need to reconsider how you go "hunting" for guys? Personally I'd avoid women who dress "for the kill" as they're not my style...

Viki87:

I didn't overdressed. Just very stylist and very nice. I said that I think I dressed the best among girls there coz girls there actually dressed crappy. My dressing style was just tight and show curves, not revealing. The jacket, dress and higheels are just well designed to show a certain taste. So I didn't look like the hooker type in the bar.In some other bars, maybe there are some girls dress very nice. But last night, girls there just didn't dress nice.

 

 

I think I dressed like a rock music star last night, that's one of my favoriate dressing style. All those nice clothes and shoes are got from Spanish and Italian store.

5 days 8 hours ago
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5 days 12 hours ago
 
Posts: 2437

Shifu

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You should really avoid sitting there and playing with your phone. It makes you look unavailable and it looks like you are blocking yourself out from social interaction. 

 

I would suggest smiling and even sending over a few beers. Or at least one beer to the guy you like. This is a signal for him to leave his pack and go over and approach you. 

 

It works well with women too. It doesn't mean he will immediately leave his group to thank you, but it sends a clear signal. It opens you up to chatting, especially if you ordered him a beer was already drinking.

 

Chances are he will come to thank you personally (if he has any manners) and this would be the best time to strike up a chat. 

 

Most people are extremely intimidated to approach a group. So find a way to divide and conquer. Don't wait around for things to happen to you, make them happen! 

 

Viki87:

True. I should quit playing mobile all the time. Bad signal

I was quite shy still, I just feel hard for me to start smiling or doesn't to a guy. I even feel embrassed if a guy caught me looking at him. Let alone to approach a guy in a group. 

I feel I am useless.

 

A French guy told me many Chinese girls approached him on the road, I wish I have this guts.

5 days 8 hours ago
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Robk:

You just need to build some self-confidence. 

 

One thing that strikes me about Chinese is how insecure many of them are... although they would rather die than admit it. Just be yourself and play it cool. 

 

Sending over a beer would capture the interest of good foreign men.

 

I used a Chinese trick on a white Canadian female once (while back in Canada). We were having drinks, and she left to go to the washroom. While she was in the washroom, I paid the bill and didn't say a thing. 

 

When it was time to leave, she went to pay her bill and the guy said I had already paid it. She was surprised and it did exactly what I thought the trick would do. Capture her interest. This was in Canada so she didn't expect it. Just an old Chinese trick. 

 

Don't be afraid to look awesome. 

5 days 5 hours ago
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Viki87:

I am just shy

But I couldn't notice which guy was looking at me before as I didn't wear glasses. I always feel I may not look good with glasses. Finally today I bought myself contacts to see guys clearly while I am out hunting

5 days 16 min ago
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5 days 12 hours ago
 
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Emperor

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Yeah, I agree with above posters. surprise 

Have a look at the porn sites about 'how women do .... That!'.

 

 'e-China-Tities' .... Whooo-W-saaa, I've never, ever (I promise!)no thought about that .

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5 days 11 hours ago
 
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There are several reasons I can think of that no-one came over to you apart from the fact that they may have just been enjoying a quiet drink with friends. 1. you were playing on your phone, by doing this you are putting up a barrier telling everyone else I am busy, leave me alone. 2. You say this was a bar and yet you sat there with a milk tea, to a lot of guys this says I am drinking this till some guy wants to spend money on me and buy me a real drink. Too tight to pay for yourself but willing to take the guy's money, not an attractive feature to a lot of guys. 3. Dressed to kill, this for a lot of people is a big turn-off when it is so obvious. It is just another way of saying high maintenance trouble. Go dressed nicely but do not make it so obvious. 4. Attitude, you clearly thought you were the best looking woman there, it is like a big neon sign hung around your neck saying look at me. Men pick up on that type of attitude and it spells desperate, again not attractive. 5. Self-confidence is an area you are lacking in, hence why you have to compete with every other woman to be the best looking (see point 4) and why you are always asking for advice from strangers. You were seeking a job as a sales manager but told everyone here you were not qualified for that role and then you are surprised when you do not get the job. I may be wrong but it seems to me that you come over as desperate in your attempts to land the right job and the right man. You need to tone it down. Bars are not always the best places to find romance, a one night stand maybe but it all depends on what you want. How about just going somewhere neutral like a local English corner and see the foreign guys there, just dress nicely but not OTT, strike up a conversation and you might be surprised where it leads. Many people have given you good advice on this forum over the years but all the advice in the world will not help if you just ignore it.

Hotwater:

That's all great advice but the problem with Vicky is that she takes no notice. She's been advised time and time again on her on lots of things, especially relationships, yet she doesn't appear to have changed how she does  things. 

5 days 9 hours ago
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Shining_brow:

You mean the bit about telling her that going to a club and dressing sexy says "I'm after a quickie"... but then gets annoyed when the guy ONLY wants a 1-9 stand*???

 

 

 

(* I was amused when I first heard that one :p)

4 days 13 hours ago
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5 days 10 hours ago
 
Posts: 385

General

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Perhaps they heard about you on echinacities! 

 

You have a notorious fame, they suspect you want them to marry you, so they decided to ignore you and just check today's ecc posts to know if it was really you!

Viki87:

Stupid miko

5 days 4 hours ago
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5 days 4 hours ago
 
Posts: 431

Governor

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What city are you in. I could be available. But I'm a poor old guy without a job.

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5 days 1 hour ago
 
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I would have offered you a drink too.  I like the way you talk with us here on this site. but as far as why no one came up to you, that doesn't mean they didn't want to,, guys can be nervous too,, so, if it was just your first visit, go a few more times.  dress nicely, but 99% of older guys are not going to like the 'dance-girl, bar-girl look',  that is way too clear of a sign in Asia and is best left for where it is meant to be (working-girl bars in 'nam, thai, phil, camboland....). so, dress nicely, act polite and friendly and there's a good chance u will meet a decent guy.

 Chin up !

4 days 14 hours ago
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4 days 17 hours ago
 
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They simply don't want to make a baby with you for obvious reasons. Why on earth don't they use a condom

RandomGuy:

I pity the man who will end up fathering her child.

4 days 1 hour ago
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Englteachted:

The guy would just up and leave because you get what you attract. If you use clothes to attract guys then you'll get guys who just want you for how you look. Dressing for the purpose of sex only attracts guys who want sex. (Call me a sexist if you want but that is reality, I'm just pointing it out)

3 days 10 hours ago
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4 days 11 hours ago
 
Posts: 132

Soldier

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Viki, do you have NO real friends with whom you can discuss these personal problems with?

 

it seems you are posting the same 'problems' over and over and over on this site, yet you totally ignore sound advice - why is that?

is it because people here don't share your view of your life?

Englteachted:

Same reason why she went out looking for guys to 'hit' on her. Attention seeking behavior, sign of a mental illness

4 days 4 hours ago
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4 days 10 hours ago
 
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Why would you go out in order to play with your phone in the first place? Seeing someone playing with his phone I assume that he is either waiting fir somebody or doesnt understand the nature of going out, therefore isnt someone I would talk to first. People wont bite you if you begin a conversation. Nothing raises your stacks more than talking to some guys. It will draw attention to you and maybe make some people start a conv w you. You need to make the first step sometimes it really doesnt hurt. If yoy dont have the guts to talk to someone in a bar then I have no idea why are you even thinking of being w someone

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1 day 1 hour ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: That would be an awful experience. I would call your embassy asap
A:That would be an awful experience. I would call your embassy asap, they might be able to suggest something or give you a temporary replacement or something. I'm sure they would have seen this before.You may also need something from the PSB to say that you still have a valid visa in order to leave the country. Do you at least have a copy of your visa and passport front page, or can you get one?  If you have been working here your employer would probably have copies. In the mean time, turn the place upside down trying to find your passport.Good luck mate.   -- Stiggs