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Q: Why should I feel guilty about dating a Chinese girl?
Whether it's other foreigners or other Chinese, people have either silently or openly made it clear that in their minds, my intentions were clear and that all I was after was a quick and easy dirty good time with the local girls. That I was depraved, etc...
Even though I have been with gf for years now, it's created this constant annoyance every time people stare, to the point I almost do feel guilty about it. Almost imposed on me, little by little.
12 years 29 weeks ago in Relationships - China
no, live your life and be happy.
my experience (us) is that many american women are flat out against american men being allowed to go and find wives in other countries. they claim american men want women to be subservient. which i find funny, especially since if you read the posts on this forum many men are living in china because their chinese wives wanted to live in china.
the difference i find with girls here versus girls back home is that they are committed to "the relationship/ family" more so than themselves, which is great for me because i'm willing to make the same sacrifice. the women here, are willing to allow a man to have his space, watch a football game without being disturbed simply because i'm enjoying myself without you. women here are not overly critical or controlling.
crimochina:
i forgot to get to why some foreign women and locals will try to look down in judgement of you and your gf. JEALOUSY! Many people are afraid for some reason to live their life the way they truly want to, others simply can not find happiness in their own life. so they can not accept someone else living their life in a manner that makes them happy
Maybe you feel guilty about it because they stare at you. Even without a girl around they stare at you, so don't worry it's just your conscience playing the culture difference thing.
that depend on what your purpose when you dating a chinese girl. 
crimochina:
nope, whatever their purpose it is between them. they are adults. they live their lives everyone else lives their own live. too many locals have this idea that everyone should be exactly the same no should be an individual, but the truth is that creates a house of misery that's why so many females commit suicide , outdated thinking
There's always some asshole who wont like whatever you do, no matter what. If you worried about what every prick thank, you could never even leave your home, except that doesn't work because some other prick would call you a shut-in. Paying attention to other people is a lose-lose situation.
Wait, you've been with her for years and you're still bothered by the stares? Is this something that has bothered you from day one, or a new feeling of guilt? I mean even if I had people spit on me when I went out, after years of it, you learn to pay so little attention to it all. I mean if you've been with her for so long and this has been going on the entire time, you should be way past the guilt feel....
Unless something else as occurred and you're creating this guilt from people staring from this.
If you have a kid with her and go walking around, for the most part people will think "Awww. He came to China and found a nice girl. He must be one of the good foreigners." While if they just see you walking together they'll almost always assume you're taking advantage of her. It's just the national mindset.
stan118:
or they might think, she is with you because you have money, lets face it people here think that every foreigners is rich
Let them stare it could be that you look good together. Or they may wish it was them. Or people might think that it is so special. In either event people will stare for a many of reasons. These people have no say so in your happiness and God is the true judge of our do's and don't.
It's just uncommon.But I think after a while people won't care it that much.Everybody has their own life and choices.And I do find there are many foreigners dating with Chinese girls which goes pretty well.For others,I think they just admire it.
As long as you are both consenting adults, love w hom you want and the hell with the rest of the world. Dont break up with her just because "they" (Chinese or Westerners) dont approve. Not worth later on being a lonely old man full of regrets and a household full of cats as your only company.
Because you want to do some guilty things which may screw up your relationship, you will feel frustrated if you do not do as you want. Or you have some bad dating record in the past. Take it easy, you can do it without feeling guilty, everything is under control.
Bro, F*CK what ANYONE ELSE..ESPECIALLY THE CHINESE think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the most racist,nationalistic,xenophobic,prejudiced,anti-foreigner places around!!!!! And, it aint gonna change!!!!!!!!!! So, if you sincerely care about your gal..you've been with her for a few years already..you've gotta talk to her about it..just be honest..and move past the b.s.!!!!!!! OR, the two of you leave China! It's a big planet!!!!!!! It's your life!!!! Don't let small minds mess with your head! (China has PLENTY of small minds!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :( * When they stare at you/both of you or make their stupid comments,etc..LAUGH AT THEM FOR THE FOOLS THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck!
Dont be, if your intentions are honorable. If all you want is another "notch" on your bedpost, then that is different. Chinese girls, like girls everywhere, are not toys to be played with and discarded. They have feelings and they hurt deeply, with the added "onus" that if the relationship does not work out, they have lost face before their family and friends.
F*ck them. People are stupid. There is nothing you can do about it. They are stupid. They will always be stupid. You can't beat them. Don't join them.
leave them alone and do what makes you happy......i heard them all what you said before and to say the truth i don't give a rat's ass about what the say...........i do what i do whenever and whereever...........as long as i know it is the right thing to do
A great many foreigners in China are younger and single men. Naturally, no differently than anyone else, you are going to meet young single women INSIDE your circle.
The internet has opened up a big new world where that 'circle' now includes the world and a good % are going to be Chinese.
If you were living in Canada, USA or even Peru or any number of European cities it will not be unusual to see a Chinese man and native born woman together. Maybe he emmigrated or is living there for school and work.
Not much of this is mysterious or surprising or even 'special' given the chances. Yet, for some reason there is no end of discussion, criticisms, conjecture and maybe too much insecurity after all.
And I would agree with anyone who says there are far far too many 'players' in China (foreigners and locals) but on the bright side I do find most people are actually well-meaning, most foreigners are loyal with good intentions and if anything are more likely to fall into the category of 'family-orientated monogamous types'.
*At least, Western ones.
