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Posts: 2240

Shifu

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Q: Why some people think it's me bully her?

I become extremely upset by being isolated by the three girls in the office and the boss blamed me for criticing the sales assistant girl and he hinted that's my fault that the three girls don't like me. I tried to ignore them and focus on work but I have feelings, I become extremely unhappy at work for the girls treat me likes this and the boss judges me like this. And also some people on ecc thinks that I was bullying this girl? Why the hell of you to judge me likes that? I was trainning her and tried to supervise her work, she argued with me during the trainning and complained about me very impolitely, constantly not tell me her work problem till I go find out. She's putting this on agajn and again in the office, so I criticized her in front of everyone. After that I still tried to be professional, trainning her and I told her I'll supervise her work. She become mad and asked why I come to supervise her. Stupid question, I am the manager. If my boss doesn't require me to do this, I wouldn't even want to. Fucking so fed up.  Her main focus is following up the old customers in the company and reports her work to the boss directly. But the boss let me to train her and supervise her work to make sure she does work successfully. And what made me sad is many people on ecc also thinks I bully her? Seriously? It's I bully her or she bullies me? I feel very depressing come back from this stupid work yesterday. I really wanna get the fuck out of here to save all the craps.  One sales will be leaving the job in 10 days, the assistant girl is not skilled. The boss has no one to do a good job, and he holds my salary, I worry if I leave while he doesn't agree with that. I might not able to get my salary. Also I worry if I leave while his company is in a bad situation, I worry he would spread a bad name to influence my job hunting. What should I do? I feel depressing and extremely sad now. 

6 years 48 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 1072

Shifu

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Lets have a review here of the events as you have presented them over a few weeks, keeping in mind that you are not a trained manger.

 

according to you March 20th was your first day, and fairly quickly you were wanting to quit.

By march 28th you had got angry at your boss because he would not let you take extra time off work.

March 31st - your words:

"I am assigned to train a sales girl who came here two weeks ahead me, she's not motivated to learn. Almost everytime I have to ask if she knows how to do the work. Then I'll find that she has no idea of how to do the work but didn't even ask me. It has been many times already. Then I got mad and started to criticize her a bit. She got mad and sad and wanted to quit. I went to tell the boss and he knows everything now. He's not happy with me criticizing her and he adviced me to not criticize her but teach her with patience."

 

you humiliated the girl in front of everyone and made her lose face.

Net result, the existing girls, who already had existing established relationships closed ranks against you. 

I have got to admit what they are doing has no place in a professional environment, but this is China and this is how people behave.

 

 April 8th - you are asked to train the girl and you appear to consider not training her so she is fired. http://answers.echinacities.com/question/should-i-teach-girl

Extremely unprofessional, especially if your co-workers are seeing this.

 

I suggest you look online to see the key characteristics of a successful manager and compare them to how you behave.

Wait, you won't because your work problems are everyone else's fault and you in no way contributed to where you are now. indecision

 

Successful managers and trainers are patient with the people they work with.

Did you exhibit these characteristics when you joined?

 

the childish behaviour of all involved is probably typical of a Chinese work-place, especially when everyone is so self-absorbed and concerned only about their own 'face'

Viki87:

I was just thinking of not trainning her but I still trained her. But let's say she's not even cooperated to do the job well, I have a reason to not train her to get her fired so get better staff for company. It's also a good way of management, isn't it?

 

I bullied her? I would call it criticizing instead of calling it as bullying.

 

At beginning, I tried to train her well, all she did was just arguing with me to aganist my management, and complained about me badly and made those annoying noise to aganist me while she had no clue of business management concept. She basically has no working experience to what I have seen. Bad working attitude demonstrated.

 

Then she didn't have knowledge of operate alibaba, have no clue of how to use company email. I found it extremely foolish. Then she never told me her problem? I don't know what's going on with her? Either do not aware of it( then she's stupid, need to get replaced) or just hide problem from me?(Then bad performance, deserve to get fired too)

 

After all the shits she put on agajn and again. Considering of profession, I am so fed up with her. So then I criticized her in the office.

 

If you said I made her lose face, then I would say she made me face for aganist me to not do work well in front of the girls at first. But I didn't take it personal. I hate everything she did considering of profession. 

 

She had no good experience, act arrogant, and foolish.

 

Her outlook was broken, after told her already to login on web email, she said yes. But I found she just pretent to know. Then I found out she doesn't even know web email existed. The boss and I demonstrated to her few days ago.

 

lol Then you know what? She typied outlook when I told her to go to web email login page. At that moment, I am so sure that she's a fool.

 

 

 

 

Does a sucessful manager has to waste her time on trainning a fool?

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

yes Viki, 

it is all her fault and nothing to do with the fact that you are an inexperienced manager and trainer who does not know how to deal with challenging people in the workplace without losing your temper and 'getting mad'.

how many people are you angry with in your work-place now?

    Your boss from early on

    your colleagues

    your bosses wife for asking personal questions.

 

how many years have you been working and how many jobs have you had?

what caused you to leave every job you left?

 

yes Viki

you are the victim all the time.

you in no way contributed to the situation you are in now

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Right. I should control my temper even got bullied by this crazy girl. 

 

But it I guess I just leave this job then. Not happy here. I don't have to be manager.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 48 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 7204

Emperor

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Time to move on.
Next time you are applying for a job you have a couple more questions you know you should ask.
1 how reports to who and what authority you will have.
2 get it in writing in the contract.
Won't solve all the problems but it will help.

Viki87:

True uncle

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Uncle I feel too sad there. I don't want to go back to there anymore

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2774

Emperor

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I hope you understand that the respect you crave from these other girls is something you must earn. Simply having the title of manager won't give you respect. Perhaps it's time you just focus on your own work and let them crash and burn. While you demonstrate that you know what to do and do it well, they flounder and go directly to the boss. The boss gets sick of this and tells them to go to you for help. Instead of being a bitch to them, you are happy to help. Presto changeo....you have their respect.

Also, being the manager, it is probably for the best that you don't become best friends forever or even have lunch with them on a regular basis. Remain a little aloof to let them know that you aren't the same as them. An occasional meal or something is ok. But leave early and don't share much of your personal life. In short, separate yourself from the rank and file, be an example.

Viki87:

iwolf, I understand your point. 

But I feel those girls are unbelievable shitty.It's not someone you can communicate well.

 

1. The sales assistant girl kept arguing with me and complained about me badly, very disrespect. Can't operate Alibaba, don't come to me, wasted time sitting there. I sent her emails, her outlook was broke, she didn't know there's a webmail can go check emails, actually the boss and I showed him before. Damaged the standard project form and didn't tell me. I found all the problem till I go check. She acted mad for my supervision. I simply think just fire her. But I have no power.

 

2. A guy from another department came to my office to help fix the assistant girl's conputer, they kept talking loudly while I was making a call for recruitment. I asked them nicely  to lower voices. The guy told me to not tell him, go tell boss. Seriously?

 

3. The girls kept on chatting in office, it made me hard to concentrate. I told them many many times, they just don't listen. And instead of that, argued with me.

 

I'd say those people could be in every company. If the boss doesn't stand those behiviors, it won't be keep going on like that.

 

I really don't think most companies which is professional will allow employees to chat nonstop during working hours and playing music and watch movies loudly to influence others during working hours. I don't think assistant girl who kept aganist for not do her work well and show disrespect to supervisor will not get criticized in other companies? 

Ie:  it's all my Chinese boss's fault, he allowed those shits, it comes back to bite his business already. He's messy too, never organized and don't know how. Lack of knowledge.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Also, being the manager, it is probably for the best that you don't become best friends forever or even have lunch with them on a regular basis. Remain a little aloof to let them know that you aren't the same as them. An occasional meal or something is ok. But leave early and don't share much of your personal life. In short, separate yourself from the rank and file, be an example.

 

I agree. But the Chinese boss won't like the manager who's especially new to eat alone. That's why I hate working for Chinese companies.

 

 

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Instead of being a bitch to them, you are happy to help. Presto changeo....you have their respect.

 

I understand your point. I feel stupid that as a new employee, the assistant don't try to learn more from me but against me. She's just two weeks earlier than I come. I think she's stupid.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1072

Shifu

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Lets have a review here of the events as you have presented them over a few weeks, keeping in mind that you are not a trained manger.

 

according to you March 20th was your first day, and fairly quickly you were wanting to quit.

By march 28th you had got angry at your boss because he would not let you take extra time off work.

March 31st - your words:

"I am assigned to train a sales girl who came here two weeks ahead me, she's not motivated to learn. Almost everytime I have to ask if she knows how to do the work. Then I'll find that she has no idea of how to do the work but didn't even ask me. It has been many times already. Then I got mad and started to criticize her a bit. She got mad and sad and wanted to quit. I went to tell the boss and he knows everything now. He's not happy with me criticizing her and he adviced me to not criticize her but teach her with patience."

 

you humiliated the girl in front of everyone and made her lose face.

Net result, the existing girls, who already had existing established relationships closed ranks against you. 

I have got to admit what they are doing has no place in a professional environment, but this is China and this is how people behave.

 

 April 8th - you are asked to train the girl and you appear to consider not training her so she is fired. http://answers.echinacities.com/question/should-i-teach-girl

Extremely unprofessional, especially if your co-workers are seeing this.

 

I suggest you look online to see the key characteristics of a successful manager and compare them to how you behave.

Wait, you won't because your work problems are everyone else's fault and you in no way contributed to where you are now. indecision

 

Successful managers and trainers are patient with the people they work with.

Did you exhibit these characteristics when you joined?

 

the childish behaviour of all involved is probably typical of a Chinese work-place, especially when everyone is so self-absorbed and concerned only about their own 'face'

Viki87:

I was just thinking of not trainning her but I still trained her. But let's say she's not even cooperated to do the job well, I have a reason to not train her to get her fired so get better staff for company. It's also a good way of management, isn't it?

 

I bullied her? I would call it criticizing instead of calling it as bullying.

 

At beginning, I tried to train her well, all she did was just arguing with me to aganist my management, and complained about me badly and made those annoying noise to aganist me while she had no clue of business management concept. She basically has no working experience to what I have seen. Bad working attitude demonstrated.

 

Then she didn't have knowledge of operate alibaba, have no clue of how to use company email. I found it extremely foolish. Then she never told me her problem? I don't know what's going on with her? Either do not aware of it( then she's stupid, need to get replaced) or just hide problem from me?(Then bad performance, deserve to get fired too)

 

After all the shits she put on agajn and again. Considering of profession, I am so fed up with her. So then I criticized her in the office.

 

If you said I made her lose face, then I would say she made me face for aganist me to not do work well in front of the girls at first. But I didn't take it personal. I hate everything she did considering of profession. 

 

She had no good experience, act arrogant, and foolish.

 

Her outlook was broken, after told her already to login on web email, she said yes. But I found she just pretent to know. Then I found out she doesn't even know web email existed. The boss and I demonstrated to her few days ago.

 

lol Then you know what? She typied outlook when I told her to go to web email login page. At that moment, I am so sure that she's a fool.

 

 

 

 

Does a sucessful manager has to waste her time on trainning a fool?

6 years 48 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

yes Viki, 

it is all her fault and nothing to do with the fact that you are an inexperienced manager and trainer who does not know how to deal with challenging people in the workplace without losing your temper and 'getting mad'.

how many people are you angry with in your work-place now?

    Your boss from early on

    your colleagues

    your bosses wife for asking personal questions.

 

how many years have you been working and how many jobs have you had?

what caused you to leave every job you left?

 

yes Viki

you are the victim all the time.

you in no way contributed to the situation you are in now

6 years 48 weeks ago
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Viki87:

Right. I should control my temper even got bullied by this crazy girl. 

 

But it I guess I just leave this job then. Not happy here. I don't have to be manager.

6 years 48 weeks ago
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6 years 48 weeks ago
 
Posts: 19790

Emperor

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 Maybe, your big butt gives you away .... all bulls have an enormous .... 'exit doors'.

'I am the Winner .... what's for dinner?'

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