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Governor

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Q: Why they just can't let the drama go?

I have post my problem about the three girls in my office, eventually I choosed to stay on my current job after my boss and I came to some agreement for me to gain more authority.

 

I spoked to my subordinate and we started to chat with each other again. The designer girl kind of avoiding to speak to me now,  everytime when I saw her, she's giving this I hate you face. The designer girl was criticing me for me to criticize  my subordinate. I told her to speak to me in private or talk to the boss about replacing me, but not interfer while I was doing my  sales team management. I feel shocked that she's hating me so much. Seriously? I don't understand her. Lol

 

Then they keep putting on the drama on again together. 

 

Yesterday, I asked the subordinate girl if she wanted to get off work together, she told that she wanted to go together with another girl a bit latter. Then like 5 minutes latter, I saw the two girls left office together and I called them on my road to the metro. It made me feel embarrassing.

 

My company provided lunch by hiring Ayi to cook. The three girls went to the lunch without calling me again. I was left alone in the office and it's my boss called me for lunch. The whole situation is just embarrassing.

 

My subordinate used to go to lunch and get off with me together before.

 

Why those Chinese girls just can't let the childish drama go? I think we are workmates and adults right?

 

My boss gave me authority to hire a new sales team and train my team. But my boss doesn't want me to say harsh words to this subordinate, I got the feeling that my boss want me to train her and manage her a bit but not too much.

 

lol, I really don't like to playing this childish drama. And my subordinate just didn't show any respect to me nor for my training. I started to consider to not train her much? I wonder if I can do that? 

 

I hate all those dramas they keep playing. I am not good at playing those Chinese office drama. Any advice of how to deal those shits in this situation in a smart way. I don't want to leave my boss bad impressions again.

 

 

23 weeks 6 days ago in  General  - Shanghai

 
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"Why can't they just let the drama go" asks the woman who posts yet again about her work problems, anyone else see the irony?

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23 weeks 6 days ago
 
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Posts: 2534

Shifu

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Where would be the fun in letting the drama go? A lot of people love drama in their lives.

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23 weeks 6 days ago
 
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"Why can't they just let the drama go" asks the woman who posts yet again about her work problems, anyone else see the irony?

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23 weeks 6 days ago
 
Posts: 2524

Emperor

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I am tired of offering advice. Viki I could rock your world like you never even knew.

 

You never even knew! surprise

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23 weeks 5 days ago
 
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The drama is happening in your head. There are people who won't like you no matter what. Live with it.

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23 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Minor Official

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Viki, Viki, Viki! These females are NOT going to stop their behavior because they enjoy watching you do exactly what they WANT you to do. They know you want to be a part of their "Girls' Club" but they don't want you as a member. It's too much fun to watch you do EVERYTHING they want you to do. You want to eat lunch with them; they make sure you don't, so you feel bad & they feel good. You want to leave work with them; they make sure you don't, so you feel bad &  they feel good.

Stop being co-dependent on others! You must take charge of your OWN life and emotions! How? You say you're not good at management, go to large bookstore, buy a book on being an effective/good manager; learn how to be one. Buy a book about positive affirmations for life/women; each should help you to boost your attitude or spirits.  Buy a humorous book and have a reason to laugh, a travel book of places you want to visit, an English book or ANY book that will hold your attention. Put a cover on each so no one knows what you're reading. Leave for lunch and do NOT tell anyone where you're going. Read on a nearby park bench, in a bookstore, in a small restaurant/coffee house as you have lunch. Go to Meetup.com in Shanghai and find a group that interests you, join up and commit to be the best manager or whatever it is you want in life. Your LUNCH time is a secret from anyone else; it's your private time for improvement. Use your competent managerial skills and hire someone who wants to work and improve their skills and is NOT interested in being a member of a Girls' Club. Mold a good team and get rid of the trouble-makers; the "how to be an effective manager book will explain it all.

 

This group isn't going to let up on their "control". If they do welcome you in, be cautious of their offer. You already know their true behavior; why do you want to belong to that club? Start your own club and if you're the only member for a while, no members is better than having trouble makers. Use your mirror at home to practice a pretty smile. Keep smiling at work & everywhere else and don't give a reason for it. They'll wonder why, when they're trying to make your life miserable, you're still smiling.  Good luck!

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23 weeks 5 days ago
 
Posts: 1292

Governor

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Since the girls here connive together to isolate and embrassing me, and refused to go with me even after I asked.

 

But one girl is leaving the company in this month, one might leave(not sure, she's the designer girl), the sales girl who stirred most the problem(my subordinate) might be still here even though she's looking for a new job. I geniously she won't find a job fast by her poor skill.

 

I have been going alone for lunch and get off work alone after being embarrassed by those drama queens.

 

If I continue staying in this company, the situation will be good for me, cause now I hold the authority to hire a new sales team.

 

So I am thinking should I even need to call that sales girl when I get off and go to lunch with my new subordinates if the other two girls in their girl club left the company this month?

 

I tried to be more professional as people suggested here, I still trained her as her manager.

 

I really think she's stupid, why against the new manager in this situation? And she's only came two weeks earlier than me  in this company.

 

 

 

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23 weeks 2 days ago
 
Posts: 1292

Governor

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Since the girls here connive together to isolate and embrassing me, and refused to go with me even after I asked.

 

But one girl is leaving the company in this month, one might leave(not sure, she's the designer girl), the sales girl who stirred most the problem(my subordinate) might be still here even though she's looking for a new job. I geniously she won't find a job fast by her poor skill.

 

I have been going alone for lunch and get off work alone after being embarrassed by those drama queens.

 

If I continue staying in this company, the situation will be good for me, cause now I hold the authority to hire a new sales team.

 

So I am thinking should I even need to call that sales girl when I get off and go to lunch with my new subordinates if the other two girls in their girl club left the company this month?

 

I tried to be more professional as people suggested here, I still trained her as her manager.

 

I really think she's stupid, why against the new manager in this situation? And she's only came two weeks earlier than me  in this company.

 

 

 

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23 weeks 2 days ago
 
Posts: 1292

Governor

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I went to lunch at first without calling the three girls belong to their tinny clubs, the boss then criticize me for me call them for lunch. 

 

He knows that those girls have been isolating me.  What's the matter with him? 

 

What's  wrong with going to lunch alone without calling them while I have been isolated?sad

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23 weeks 2 days ago
 
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Why not move to your own Island, and be done with all those haters

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23 weeks 2 days ago
 
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The problem is not you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 its them its always been them

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23 weeks 1 day ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: I'm prepared to give the guy some slack. He asked a few shifty questio
A:I'm prepared to give the guy some slack. He asked a few shifty questions in 2012 then went dormant for 5 years and suddenly appears asking newbie questions. A bit suss but who knows, he could just be a moron. Benefit of the doubt given.

This link should answer your questions: http://lawandborder.com/faq-new-china-visa-law/ -- iWolf