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Q: Why won't people sit next to me on the bus?
I'm sure I smell better than most. I brush my teeth. Wash my clothes. Shower regularly. But when I have a seat on the bus, inevitably every other seat will fill before someone sidles up to me. Sometimes, like yesterday, people stand rather than sit next to me. What gives? Is it like this for you?
10 years 7 weeks ago in Transport & Travel - China
Nope, people sit next to me, and on a hot day that can be pretty nasty. But there is a trend that people will fill up where there are empty seats around them.
I had this problem too.
i asked local friends why this would be, on a bus that is full to capacity and all the people are standing like sardines, i would have an empty seat beside me.
I was told:
1) you are a foreigner and they are afraid you will speak to them.
2) you are a foreign female and they 'respect' you. For this i read 'you scare the crap out of them'
3) you do not smell bad. in fact in summer you probably smell better than they do.
go figure 
Robk:
"Respect you" = scared out of their wits to interact with you in close proximity
Notice how they don't seem to "respect you" when it involves staring at you from afar?
I ain't buying it.
Yeah, they are scared as hell you will converse with them.
They want to communicate but they don't want to lose face infront of everyone on the bus when you ask something like... "do you know where this stop is?"
"How are you doing today?"
Once you demonstrate you can speak some Chinese, then you will notice they will ALL want to sit next to you to start asking you a ton of questions.
It's nothing personal, they are insecure... same old thing.
Sometimes, I think is ''I'm Chinese, I won't sit by laowai'', but as soon as I give my chair to older person, then somebody (students mostly) say few English words to me.
What it gets me more is, one is sitting, and having bag on another chair.
I'm standing, and holding the rail, but bag is still on the chair.
Should I come on as 'bag', to get a seat?
I have the same problem, but to me it's not a problem at all. I enjoy sitting alone most of the time, I like having some personal space, especially since most of them are the ones who haven't showered or brushed their teeth.
You can't do anything to change if they sit beside you or not.. enjoy the blessing
For me Chinese girls never do but boys usually sit next to me.
sometimes in small village no one sit next to me.I think because I am black.
For me Chinese girls never do but boys usually sit next to me.
sometimes in small village no one sit next to me.I think because I am black.
icnif77:
On Sundays, CCTV (English) has African reporter (C. Deloatch) on most of the time. I'll edit his real name as soon as I see him again!
Colored people will come to Chinese mind as 'ordinary human beings' with time!
Nessquick:
Ici, you remind to me , ...
Long time ago, when my than-GF refer to her mom about having foreigner boyfriend, her mom things that I should be either black or jewish, they did not know better. Yes, they do know American, but firstly, to have an american in a family could be biggest blessing which simply could not happen to them , in their mind. so being from europe that boyfriend, there are no whites ?
I felt very curious, in what world they was living for 60 years ?
icnif77:
@Ness: Chinese think browner your skin is, lower 'material' you are. They walk on the nice, sunny weather with open umbrellas.
Me: 'Where's the rain?'
She: 'It sunny! I'm yellow....'
Me: 'I am white. Where is the difference between your forearm and mine? I'm not color blind!' (she didn't understand the last one!)
She: 'I'm yellow! You panda!' (hairy forearms)
Me: 'OK!'
BuTT..., I see that as 'getting out of the wall' recently. They'll shape up eventually.
I can think of two possible reasons
1) they don't acknowledge you exist in that amazing Chinese way of looking right thru you - the non-acknowledgement technique means no obligations or complications
or 2) more likely because you are a laowei
by sitting next to you they may be confronted by the Otherness of you being a foreigner and so fear the possibility of embarrassment
Certainly one of the "perks" of riding the bus. I'm ok with it.
