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Q: Workplace Drama: DON'T START NOTHING YOU CANNOT FINISH!!!

Hello,

 

I am a Black American female working at a training school in Shanghai with a Colombian female teacher who says "WHAT FOR" instead of "WHY" and an African(Ghana) female teacher and of course native Chinese teachers. When I first got to the school nobody showed me anything. I mean nothing!! No orientation, no introduction to the software, the books, or lesson plans.  I only have one student who is a VIP student so when I began teaching her, I only used the software which I figured out on my own, mind you every thing on the computer is in Chinese other than the software. So after a few classes with this student, I suggested to the Chinese staff that maybe VIP students should have more materials. She says to me, "Maybe next time YOU SHOULD take the VIP bag with you." This bag has books with reading, writing, and listening materials inside of it but no one EVER introduced me or the student to it or even told me where to find them. There is one for me and this particular student and the student is suppose to take hers home. This is only one of many issues with this school but let me continue on to today's incident.

 

 

When I first got to the school, the staff told me the Colombian teacher complains too much and that they thought I would be a better teacher. They also told me that they liked my American accent and asked me to teach them English. The Colombian teacher and I became really cool and were even planning many travel trips together but every time I was around her, she complained about the school nonnstop. Colombian teacher: Tell them no if they ask you to do something you do not like, lets complain about the hours, what for do we have to sit in class with the Chinese teachers, lets take a longer holiday and not come back to work, the African teacher gets the same pay but leaves early, blah,blah,blah. About a month ago we stopped talking because I noticed that she was always trying to get me to speak negatively about the African teacher: No one has ever seen her passport, do you like her, etc. But at work she would talk with the African teacher as if they were BFF's. She also did the same thing with the Chinese teachers. I did not like her fakeness so I decided not to pursue a personal relationship with her anymore so we stopped communicating for a month.

 

The staff approached me a few times about it but I played it down. Not wanting to throw her under the bus, I told them that there was no issue to be concerned about and that we are just not friends. But young females, being the typical drama queens that they are, just could not let it go. Because I would not feed into the drama or respond to some of the comments that were directed towards me by the Colombian teacher, they resorted to something a little more sinister. Today I came to work and was told that the foreign teachers were having a meeting. I went into the meeting already knowing what to expect. The boss introduced me to a Chinese female who used to work at the school and is allegedly very good friends with the Colombian teacher. To make this long story shorter, she was very biased towards the Colombian teacher and told me that since the Colombian teacher was there longer, I should follow her and that is when all hell broke loose. I notice that this type of illogical thinking is present in every aspect of Chinese culture. I told her that you would think that would be the case but it is not. I told her the following in front of the boss and the Colombian teacher: How do I follow her when everyone here says she complains too much, the boss and the hiring manager told me that I am better than her, she told me to say no if the staff asks me to do something that I do not want to do such as speaking with the parents after class, and she told me that she does not like the hours. So who exactly am I following? When I first arrived, the staff was impressed with my ability to use technology to navigate myself around Shanghai and would always compare me to her saying things like: "Wow, how do know how to get places? The Colombian teacher is always so dependent on us for everything. You are so smart, we like the way you think."

 

So why would they ask me to follow her if it wasn't to get under my skin and/or to try get us to talk again? They began to shut me up from exposing more of her dirt and the boss erased the idea off the board. The meeting ended before it could even start because I stood my ground and did most of the talking. They had to bring an outsider to fight their battle but I gave her something that she was not ready for it. She kept telling me to be quiet, okay, okay. The funny part about it is that even though they told me I was better than her, I did want to depend on her for help but she never gave me any good advice about the school or the position; it was all horrible. 

 

 

The moral of this story is: DON'T START NOTHING YOU CANNOT FINISH!!!

 

6 years 44 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Sorry, but I'm not seeing the problem. This entire scenario sounds just like another day at the office.

tfuller87:

Exactly.  But what kind of boss brings in an outsider who is very good friends with one of the people involved in the issue and she can't even speak good English. The Chinese teachers at the school speak much better English than her. I guess they thought she would be intimidating but you cannot intimidate me when I cannot even understand you.crying

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Zethe:

What kind of boss you ask?
A mainland Chinese one.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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What a load of nonsense. Either you're a poser or that's your first gig ever. 

icnif77:

You've got big .... 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

I have the meeting on video. Like I said, I knew the meeting wasn't going to go good. I actually taught in Thailand at an Academy where the Filipino and Thai teachers were very helpful, positive, & drama free. It almost seemed like an American Private School. This is my first job here in China.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

Look, lady, it is quite simple in China:

 

'if you are working with valid Residence permit you've signed Contract! Both parties must respect the Contract!

If you spot one or more Contract's disrespects by party A, find new employer! Try to get new Contract and submit Resignation notice to your present employer. 

I suggest, you respect Resignation notice written on the Contract, i.e. 30-days, unless party A's Contract violations are grave as 'late or no salary payment' or 'unsuitable living conditions' and similar, then you should submit RN with immediate Contract termination.

By Chinese law, your present employer must give you FEC cancel certificate and Release letter in 30-days after your last working day.

Your new employer will be able to get new FEC and change PSB's records of your new RP sponsor. No exit out of China is required!

You will most likely have to dial SAFEA for help with retrieval both documents, but no worries: 'SAFEA's phone no. and address around China is available on the Board!'

Sorry, I couldn't read your Eneida-length-text!

 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Zethe:

It seems likely it's her first time in China.
You can see the desperation exuding from her as she struggles with the insanity we call Chinese 'management'.
Although 'management' is  kind of a stretch when trying to name the nature of this beast.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Don't you love a Bad China Day ?
May I direct you to my Draw the Line post.
It's not as detailed as your experience but I know where you are coming from.
Chinese work politics isn't that far removed from our home countries.
The difference is you have more options at your disposal.
When push comes to shove you will find your on your own

Good luck ...you are going to need some

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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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shoulda Grabbed her by the Cat!

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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Sorry, but I'm not seeing the problem. This entire scenario sounds just like another day at the office.

tfuller87:

Exactly.  But what kind of boss brings in an outsider who is very good friends with one of the people involved in the issue and she can't even speak good English. The Chinese teachers at the school speak much better English than her. I guess they thought she would be intimidating but you cannot intimidate me when I cannot even understand you.crying

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Zethe:

What kind of boss you ask?
A mainland Chinese one.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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First gig in China? Yeah, sorry, but it shows with the idea that you expected an orientation and to be told about all the materials that you'd actually need to do your job well.

 

You have a choice - get used to the incompetence in this place, or find somewhere else. It's not going to get better!

 

(many here work on the 'logic' that if you look bad, then they look better. They don't get that it just means 2 people look bad. And, unfortunately, many bosses fall for it! )

icnif77:

She should go through my 'job' posts here ....

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Shifu

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what you describe is par for the course in China.

solution?

don't trust anyone.

 

i follow the adage:

"give all men your ear, but few your voice"

 

Chinese mangers and colleagues (male and female) are ultimately frustrated because they have few what rational people would call 'interests' outside of work (shopping, playing online games can hardly be called 'interests' or 'hobbies')

Personal time tends to be an extension of work life so gossip and 'playing politics' is a substitute for a real hobby.

if you are not 'playing the game' and taking part in the office drama you are not exempt from being included.

 

by dishing dirt on colleagues, especially non-chinese colleagues,  you re just being sucked into the whole childish mindset.

tfuller87:

Maybe that would be true in other cases but I only exposed her to tell them why I will not follow a person like her. She is clearly not a leader and I even asked them for another meeting but they will probably not want to meet with me again on this issue. They did not like it when I did that so I am sure exposing her was the right thing to do. It will also show them that I will not play games with them. This was not childish in my opinion. I proved my case and forced them to agree with me. So with that being said, I will not be following this messy, two-faced, bad English speaking, immature, nonqualified individual. 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

OP, you are now assimilated into 'professional' chinese behavior

'exposing' a colleague at work is not very professional, even when put on the spot.

should you have a problem, the appropriate thing to do was deal with it in any number of other ways.

You 'forced them to agree' - great victory in a work place that you now have to stay in for X number of months with this colleague who now knows your private opinion of her.

They did not like it when I did that’ - so you have made your colleagues loose face by pointing out in public, to your superiors, that you consider their decision to employ this woman was incorrect.

 

At the time of this meeting, there were so many more options you could have taken that dealt with this, but you chose the petty ‘butt-hurt’ one that probably gave you satisfaction at the time. This will no doubt bite you in the ass some time soon.

 

it is like a certain other poster who blames everyone else for a problem that she contributed to (and initiated) in the first place.

 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Shifu

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it is not exactly smart to make enemies at work. she clearly has some more people on her side for whatever reason, so it might bite you in the end.

 

Pointing out that you are better than her in front of everyone make you sound like a douche in all fairness.

 

Anyways, welcome to china where no one gives a damn

Shining_brow:

The only problem that's really important is how they handle the end of the contract obligations Such as for employer transfer.. and even then, with the new laws, that's not really going to be much of a problem anyway!

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

Because she was there longer. But even though they may seem to be on her side, Wednesday she was complaining about having to do a 20 minute demo and one of her friends/Chinese teachers told me this. I do not think they know what loyalty means because even though they are friends with her, I still here them talking about her. 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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"Colombian female teacher who says "WHAT FOR" instead of "WHY"

 

BTW - since you're interested in attacking people's English publicly... it should be "Don't start SOMEthing you cannot finish". English rarely uses double negatives.

Englteachted:

N no no, you see I'm trying to sell the stereotype of an ebonics speaking finger wagging Black woman

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Technically what for =why, correct me if I'm wrong

6 years 44 weeks ago
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kasuka91:

Lol, geek..just couldn't help yourself could you?

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

@Engles - grammatically, yes - if used on its own "What for?" = "Why?". In the sentence used as an example above, it should be "For what reason) , so while the meaning is basically the same, in standard English it would be wrong.

.

  But... Spanish! por que? (lit: for what?).

.

@Kasuka - I just think it's funny when someone points out something bad that another person does, but does something just as bad themselves (obviously, not counting typos in this). And, especially in the field of language teaching.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Stiggs:

@ Kasuka and Shining...   LOL I was bothered by the same thing, but I almost never correct people's English here.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

Excellent! I just 'scan' longer texts and later I return to it again after somebody's comment. I miss more talk about Grammar here!

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Tami.X:

Shut up. This is a common way of saying it in the South. I actually copied and pasted it from Google. Now Correct that. It is an idiom and idioms are not always grammatically correct. Goodbye. 

6 years 42 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

So, it's ok for you and those in 'the south' (note the lack of capitalisation there!) to have and use idiomatic language, but the Caribbean teacher can't?

6 years 42 weeks ago
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Tami.X:

The difference is that she does not know that the word "why" exists and she is teaching English. When it is time for me to teach or write an essay, I use proper English. I am a native speaker and I can speak both formal and informal English as well as slang. 

 

Slang: a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.

 

Another popular expression used in the South is: Don't start none it won't be none. I know that it is not grammatically correct but that's how people say it where I am from. 

 

 

 

6 years 41 weeks ago
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Another problem I have with your post, why mention that you're a black female? Is it t sell the stereotype. 'Don't start no drama...' (finger wagging) Because it seems to have nothing to do with your story.

When will people learn that trying to fit a stereotype only makes you look stupid.

Blondie_:

unicorns! i should have begun every question with ' i am a ghost white European woman'.

now i know where i was going wrong.

it makes it more difficult to play the racism/sexism card if i don't 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

Black people in USA behave like victims at the start of interaction with white person (me) or outright hostile. Why's that? I've never understood reasons for that! 

Blacks in EU don't behave the same, but I have more ''equality'' feeling.

 

I'd say, tough job (if OP is real) teaching English as African American in China. 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

Well, I am sorry that you have so many problems with my post. Maybe I should have been a little clearer solely for you. Well Englteachted, the reasons why I called myself a black American are:

 

1. Because I am

2. I am black and proud

3. Because there is a Ghanaian teacher at the school and some people do not know that black Americans and Africans share nothing in common other than dark skin (there have been a few cases where I have been introduced to an African by Chinese people...How would they like it if I introduced them to a Korean or a Japanese person in their same way of thinking)

4. I was told that I have the best accent and I should do all the demos, so why would they ask me to follow the Hispanic teacher if they weren't trying to piss me off?

5. The Hispanic teacher was talking crap about the African teacher saying that she was claiming to be American but refused to show her passport. 

 

Oh and please do not bring up racial stereotypes because I was in the military and was forced to be around over 150 white men and 12 white women for a whole year. And let me say this...Um..No, I won't say it here. I do not want to upset the others who left positive feedback...just DM me. 

 

 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

Removed

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

@icnif77 How is teaching English in China as a European American or do you prefer Caucasian American? You know, my grandmother on my father's side was 25% NATIVE AMERICAN.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

Whose playing the victim? I am not a victim because I do not allow myself to be. I gave them exactly what they gave me. We are equal! 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

I am doing well, thanks! My 8th year as an English teacher and I am currently experiencing some troubles at RP transfer, because am holding Non-native English passport.

 

Otherwise, I came from my mom (like everybody else!) and my mom isn't American, but I lived most of my lifey in USA.

@tits: 'Coloured (Native or Non) English teacher in China life must be tough. I won't say 'why' because it might sound offensive, but I replaced one female African English teacher in her 20-tis (most likely student in China) in Dalian Kindies as my part-time job and Chinese teacher told me reason 'why she wasn't suitable to teach there!'.

Once you hear such an 'accusation' you can't do anything else but walk-away from teaching job.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

@icniff

 

Well I guess it depends on the black person because I have parents running me down on the streets telling me how much they enjoy me teaching their kids. Also, I was offered three jobs at A level high schools here after writing three essays, conducting a case analysis, and interviewing. With the case analysis, the school wanted me before an interview after seeing my picture, resume, and performance on the case. That MBA & BS in Accounting looks great on my resume.

 

The Chinese and Thai women say "sexy, beautiful, we like your body, do you have a boyfriend, do you like Chinese men, do you like Thai men?"  Also, the Chinese men scream 'Hello" at me all the time when I am strolling down these Shanghai streets. My Chinese landlord tried to hook me up with his friend and he wants me to hangout with them. I had to hurt his feelings and tell him that I like my men tall, black(really dark), handsome, and American. 

 

Monday, I went to get my health certificate and a white man approached me and was dying to get to know me. He paid for my taxi and asked me to hangout. But again, I had to hurt his feelings because I like my men tall, black(really dark), handsome, and American. 

 

When I was in Thailand, I was literally being stalked by a WHITE  AFRICAN teacher at my school. I was like what about your white girlfriend dude? But...

 

I remember the white guy( blonde hair and blue eyes) from the U.S Army, he was a police officer and military part time, he got on his knees and begged me to be his girlfriend...he was on his knees saying: I really like you, I love beautiful black women, I just bought a house, I will spoil you..His previous girlfriend was blonde with blue eyes....I met her at his father's house while they were still together...lol.....but...I like my men tall, black(really dark), handsome, and American. 

 

Oh it is so hard being a black woman in Asia...

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

The excuse Chinese TA gave me about African student was 'kids are afraid of her. As soon as she's in all crying starts ....!'

 

You know, if I would hear that about my work, I'd just walk away from the job. 

 

On another side, once one baby starts with crying at my lessons many other kids will join in ..., however, I am tricky: 'I start with singing of 'London Bridge ..' and at every few words I interrupt song with crying ... and singing again ... , so other kids find it funny and most of the crying stops.

Back to the African student: 'most likely she was short of money and I wasn't sure how I could make get her job back ...' Dalian, 2012.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

@icniff

 

When I was in Thailand, I had a student who did not want to speak to me and cried a few times. Her father told me that it was because I was black. The other small kids in the class were very clingy to me so she eventually warmed up to me and I did not have another issue with this. When I was child, I use to cry when I had to stay at my grandmother's because I did not like her husband. I was a babysitter of 3 toddlers and one day I had to release them to their father for a few hours. One of the little girls cried uncontrollably because she did not want him to touch her. So she stayed with me. Kids do this all the time for various reasons.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

I've observed class of only one FT in China: 'Ozz guy (with UK passport, too!) at Tangshan EF who was the top of the line ....'

 

So, I can only imagine how life of colored FT can be in China .... Chinese are 'amazed' at every non-Han face they see, 'cause most of them they've never been outside of China and they can see non-Han only on the teli. With black people in China matter must be multiplied several times.

CCTV has (had) African American reporter reading the news ... on only channel in English. Why do you think Chinese (Gov.) put him on the teli?

6 years 44 weeks ago
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That's China and the normal working world. It's good for you, gives you a chance to learn how to adjust & mature to this situation.

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tfuller, don't let it bother you too much. If you stick around long enough and work in enough places you will see worse.

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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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to the OP

bringing race and gender into the equation when posting was irrelevant to the problem.

by doing so you apparently were, certainly to me and probably to some of the other posters, tying to play the victim.

as were all all your other comments regarding being approached by guys who want to date you - who cares unless you are like one of those guys who like to brag about the number of chinese girls they have laid? What do you want people to say? "Hey well done for having so many guys wanting to date you."

 

regardless if you were a foreign guy or girl, you would probably have received the same response/treatment from your local colleagues because you are foreign.

 

chinese guys shouting 'hellloooo' after you is not confined to women (black, white, whatever the skin colour) - they do that to any foreigner.

 

had you just posted your problem straight, the comments regarding life in a Chinese school would have been the same, but you chose to bring race/gender into it.

 

Many of the posters here don't seem to feel the need to announce (in their first post) 'i am a black/white/man/woman' into the equation, nor declare 'i was in the military' unless there is a degree of victim playing or they are someone posing as someone they are not.

 

your situation in that school are not exclusive to black ex-military women, but probably have been experienced by most at some time in China.

tfuller87:

Only a small part of the issue was posted here. I called myself black and I called the other's by their nationality. There was no racism in my original post. One of my points was that the Colombian teacher was implying that the African teacher was pretending to be American and refused to show her passport. I have met African's with strong African accents who pretend to be American. My point is that the Colombian teacher loves drama, she is not loyal, and she likes talking behind her friends back. She was intentionally causing conflict in the office. She hangs out with the Chinese teachers on our days off but while we are sitting in the office with them, she would send me messages on Wechat where she would be saying bad things about their habits. So where was I playing the victim? There is definitely a clash of the cultures going on here. I am so sorry that you missed the entire point just like many others. And I am about to do a part two and race will be a factor. Actually, I will do an entire post about racism in Asia vs. racism in America.

 

Oh and I could less if no one identify's themselves by their race. I did and I will continue to. You are talking to an adult and this is my account, posting, and life. So you can kiss me goodbye with that. Black Pride!!

 

As far as Foreign women go, black women stand out more. Hands down. The Colombian teacher gets way less attention both negative and positive than the African teacher and myself.  

 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Being beautiful sucks said the super model, making millions off her looks, to the fat ugly lonely assistant making minimum wage. 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

"My point is that the Colombian teacher loves drama, she is not loyal, and she likes talking behind her friends back. She was intentionally causing conflict in the office"

Welcome to life, high school, college, workplace.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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I like my coffee like I like my women:   Hot, Strong, and Black.

icnif77:

You want to say: 

 

'So, when do we meet?' 

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Wasn't those the words that got Bill OReily canned

6 years 44 weeks ago
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diverdude1:

yeah, Bill said it too. But I swear I was saying it a long time ago,, I mean I didn't steal it from him.  weird that it gets down-voted,,, well, we all know there are tools on sites that Dv just because of the shame they feel suffering from Micro-Penis Affliction.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Thumbed you up, overly sensitive assholes

6 years 44 weeks ago
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icnif77:

No, one ass with 2 votes . Every thread has the same pattern.

6 years 44 weeks ago
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diverdude1:

thx guys,,,  btw-  u think that's her real photo on profile?   I guess it could be, but I thought the unwritten rule on the 'net was not to post too much personal info?  anyway, OP,  if u read this, tell us if that's you or not ~

6 years 44 weeks ago
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tfuller87:

There is nothing special about the picture but someone should tell the 1 billion people on Facebook about the unwritten rule. 

6 years 43 weeks ago
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Blondie_:

new poster Tami.X has the exact same profile picture.

wouldn't have spotted it except they were both on the same page at once

6 years 43 weeks ago
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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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yeah u look hot on that pic but again, why did u feel to point out your ethnicity. You are not in the US, china is not political correct

 

good luck

tfuller87:

I just like to let people know that I am black. 

6 years 43 weeks ago
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nicholasba:

Awesome

6 years 43 weeks ago
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Here's what I'm getting, young people these days expect the world to be all rosy and sweet. Everyone's welcome to vent but what you're talking about is office politics the world over. Yeah there's a Chinese twist. I was expecting you to talk about the harassment of being followed around people snapping photos and people blirting out 'hey ren!' 

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6 years 44 weeks ago
 
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