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Q: American marry Chinese female. what consequences will i have?

American man marry Chinese female.  will i get troubles?  are there any negative voices?

2 weeks 5 days ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Based on the experiences of a lot of friends who got married in China, I think your main challenges will be mostly cultural.

 

How do feel about the mother in law moving in when you have a baby? How would you feel about her raising the kid 'Chinese style'?

 

Where will you be living? It's easy to say you want to spend the rest of your life in China for example or for the wife to say she wants to go live in the U.S but at some point people often decide they want to go home.Especially when parents start getting older. I'm seeing that with some friends now.

 

How do you feel about marrying a family and culture rather than just a person?

 

These are the things I'd be asking myself if I were you.

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2 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Only the ones you listen to....

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2 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Based on the experiences of a lot of friends who got married in China, I think your main challenges will be mostly cultural.

 

How do feel about the mother in law moving in when you have a baby? How would you feel about her raising the kid 'Chinese style'?

 

Where will you be living? It's easy to say you want to spend the rest of your life in China for example or for the wife to say she wants to go live in the U.S but at some point people often decide they want to go home.Especially when parents start getting older. I'm seeing that with some friends now.

 

How do you feel about marrying a family and culture rather than just a person?

 

These are the things I'd be asking myself if I were you.

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2 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Check your mental health is covered in your insurance policy

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2 weeks 5 days ago
 
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Shifu

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Stiggs nailed the major points: you are marrying a family and a culture....and the MIL will want to move in.

My best advice is for you to be completely clear about boundaries. It won't make you popular with the family but it will make your marriage happier. The source of most trouble in a marriage to a Chinese person is her/his family.

How much do you have to pay her mother to marry this lovely girl? It hasn't come up yet? It will and it won't be cheap. Laowai jia, and all that.

Good luck mate. I hope you are as lucky as me!

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2 weeks 4 days ago
 
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Governor

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Cultural differences are important to consider. 

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2 weeks 2 days ago
 
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you'll need to learn to eat with sticks. a tip for you,,, when you have eaten enough,,, stab them forcefully upright in the rice bowl. That is how we pay compliment to the host!

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2 weeks 2 days ago
 
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My positive voices says you're not American.

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2 weeks 2 days ago
 
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You mean to marry a Chinese *woman*, I assume. I'd use the correct terms for one thing, so you don't look like you're objectifying her as some sort of trophy. You make your marriage plans sound like a safari expedition, for the body of the infamous Chinese female. Although, considering the preparations and risks involved, the comparison is not far off. Happy hunting!

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2 weeks 5 hours ago
 
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I love Chinese women, a little bossy sometimes, but here's the thing if you marry in China remember that nothing legal here can be yours, what I mean by that is if you buy a house, a car and have a baby born here everything belongs to her, you have no legal control over anything, I always compline to my wife about this and it feels terrible to have to know that fact that if I wanna stay in China I gotta have a job, if no job can't stay with my wife and Chinese born kids, its good bye, its crazy that having family here doesn't keep you here, we all the Q visa workers are out there and looking over their shoulder day after day, but they shouldn't have to do that, but hey that's China.

 

I don't like using the term "rented" but if I were to sum up my 12 years in China I would title it "year by year rental" because I'm only here because I got a contract to legal work here for one year at a time. I know at first that seems ok but later it catches up with you and reality strikes.

 

So I'm gonna give you my reality tips and I wish I knew what I know now before I got married here, but here's my tips:

 

1. Marry in South Korea if no War with the North. Or Japan because after 5 years you get a their passport or legal right to work, even in Taiwan. China gives you no legal right to work if you are married.

 

2. Yes Yes if you love your wife thats good but don't invest too much oof your hard earned cash into her and into China, make sure you send money back to America every month, try to send your whole salary back if you find good paying PT jobs. Trust me you'll be sorry years later if you don't start saving in America now. Save up $10,000 and invest into VTI stock or Alphabet (google) and use that with a IRA plan so you have money when you get to be an old man, the point is using money in China is a big waste because you can't become China man, think about it.

 

3. Always have a plan B and C. Mine has always been stay in Shenzhen, if for some reason I mess up my working visa due to timing or unforeseen issues plan B is to work in Hong Kong because a Q visa will allow me to go home every night or on weekends, yeah border crossing can suck but thats what the E-channel is for and you are man, man up. Plan C is I go home first and get a job and house ready, when its all setup than bring the family home, and its best after 5 years of marriage in China that you get your wife a visa for the U.S while you are in China together, doing it from the U.S is much harder, well ask Trump. There's a benefit for us applying for the spousal visa here together here in China, it takes away the crap we have to go through in the U.S... There is a plan D, if you guys don't like working in China move together and work in another country before having kids.

 

4. BUY a house you lazy bum. Yeah that's right, every young American not using their time in in China to buy a house in America is a lazy back-packing bum, you owe it to yourself to setup the most secure investment for your future and Working in China can make that happen. Oh didn't you think about the spousal visa? Didn't you think they would ask: Own or rent check box? or Where you would take your wife to live in the U.S? Yep yep yep, having a house will help your case to bring your wife home. But I only say this for Americans because buying a home only take a $10,000 to $20,000 down payment and $400 to $560 a month and PT jobs can pay your mortgage, now for my British friends I know I know I've seen the housing market in the U.K and yes the word that comes to my mind is Ouch, for your guys save and invest, get some stock investment lessons is the best thing.

 

5. Make sure your future wife knows how to be a girl or woman first, make sure she knows why she has a female body, because as this is still a developing country many of these girls think love in bed only requires them to lay down and you'll get bored super fast man and like all men when the girl next store asks you to visit you would and will. It should be like this: IF a wife isn't doing what Pamela Anderson did for her husbands than don't marry her. Run man, and I mean RUN!, No joke.. Yes Chinese girls are super sexy and slim but that won't keep you in bed for very long, you'll be laying in bed asking yourself why isn't my wife taking off her clothes? The lights are off. Than all you have left is TanTan lol.. I know it seems harsh but its true man. I had this problem before and I was amzed when I found out that I wasn't alone. So many of my friends had the same issue with a girl that just lays down and and does nothing, not because she didn't want to, she just doesn't know she should do that..

 

So I love the joke I did to my ex when she told me she would get married, I asked: What would you do with a husband if you had one? She couldn't answer and I shook his hand and said good luck him and both of them, he seemed worried after that. lol

 

Anyway think real hard man, there are pros and cons with any Marriage around the world, I've only heard that Swiss girls are perfect.

 

Good Luck man.

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1 week 6 days ago
 
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Consequence ? You'll have a wife dude *-*

 

I am the only one who think OPs question doesnt mean anything ...

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3 days 17 hours ago
 
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