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Posts: 2108

Shifu

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Q: Does a woman really need to marry a man who is more successful than her?

From the evolution of human society, women tend to marry men who are more successful than the woman herself, men tend to become the bread erner. So my question is does a woman really need to marry a man who is more successful than her? That is what most women do, they search for a husband who has a more successful career than her.

Like a successful business woman marry a man does a nine to five job earns everage salary.

Another is about income and spending, what if the richer wife spent the money the husband takes a month to make only on one business flight? But of course that is her money. Will it hurt the husband's self-esteem? You know from the evolution, many men get a ego for wanting to be the bread earner.

How about the financial account? Share or seperated? The business woman may want to keep it seperated and even.would want a prenut before marriage to protect her money. I am not sure if many men will get hurt when you say honey we need a prenut and seperate account in case the marriage does not work out.

How about the lifestyle and commom interest?
The business woman who is already a business,owner and can arrage her time flexible and can take off holiday at the time she wants when.the husband can not.

There is something sensitive there, the husband may want to join your company to do business together? You let him in or not? He may not really the business material. If the wife refuses, will the marriage still able to keep?

1 week 5 days ago in  General  - China

 
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Emperor

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I would say that a woman doesn't 'need' to marry anyone, unless they want to. But that's just me.

 

I assume you're talking about your own situation, and from what you've posted before about your family situation I gather you're stuck between two worlds. The traditional Chinese world and the modern world. I know a lot of people in your situation and I know it can be a difficult place to be in.

 

I don't know what the 'right' answer is, I doubt there is one but I'll say this....

 

I watched a lot of Chinese (female) friends get married, often only because their family expected them to and the guy was a 'good choice'.

 

Some of them seem happy enough, a few are just miserable but have accepted their new life and will do what is expected of them and that is more important than doing what they'd prefer to do. At the end of the day they're traditional girls who do  what they need to do and hopefully it works out well for them. It has been hard for me watching them go down this road, when you see a good friend crying and talking about divorce or suicide you know they're in a bad place.

 

I suppose it comes down to your personal values and beliefs. If you think the traditional way - making the family happy, mianzi etc is important then that's what you should probably do. If you think that's outdated and you'd rather do whatever you want to do - marry whoever you want or stay single, then that's probably the way to go.

 

As with most things in life, you should probably follow your values, your gut feeling and what you think is best for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No. 

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1 week 5 days ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs