It is a good question, especially as a request for help makes you become suspicious about the other persons motives: you are viewed as the foolish foreigner doing something for nothing.

When asked for help of any sort (non-financial), unlike when i am at home where i help if i can, the constant requests especially if you are a teacher just make me tired. Especially if they are during my free time and i know they only want me for my english. However, i have come across instances where there were people i met, and helped to study, who some time later unexpectedly given me a assistance, or a gift which was both unexpected and welcome.

One boy sourced and found a book translated into english, written by a Chinese author that i had never heard of before, as a way of thanking me.

requests for financial help is another ball-game!

Crimo, don't lose who you are because i know it is easy to become cynical about certain experiences in China.

I've been fobbed off, and I've been fooled
I've been robbed and ridiculed
In day care centers and night schools
Handle me with care

Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Handle me with care
 

and the (few) good ones will handle you with care

Yeah, kinda. One thing I really hate is when people try to mistake my kidness for weakness. That's a mistake. It happens here more than anywhere else in the world, and it drives me bonkers.

I rarely get supposed friends asking for money, etc... be aware that unless they're asking in person, it's a very common hacked QQ request. Sometimes we get messages from the wife's family saying "I'm sick! Send money!" Then we call the family and they said they're fine and never sent that message. Turns out they logged in at an internet cafe, and there was a keylogger on the system (side note, keyloggers are very common at internet cafes, my wife once spammed me with lots of really strange messages after logging in at an internet cafe).

Also, this seems to be the only place in the world where people consistently call my bluff, and then act totally surprised when I do what I said I'd do. I do not puck around, yet everyone here thinks I'm bullshatting until I actually come through with my threats.

*rant mode on since I'm still pissed off about this*

I hate seeing people throw a huge pity parade on the bus, and act like a complete retard, and sing "ohhhhhhhh, I'm reeetarrrrddddeeddddddddd.... *drooling* i caannnnnttt walllllkkkkkk..... my faaaammmmilllllllly abannnnndonnnned *drool* meeeeeeeeeeeee..... pllllleeeaaaaaasseeeee heellllpppp meeee eat.... *incessant drooling, crying ensues*", and seeing everyone on the bus feel bad and give money to him.

I gave him a couple yuan because some old lady was glaring at me for being cheap (she was in on the scam, she gets in first, and he's waiting at the next stop). Gave the guy money, and then he stands up and he's not retarded anymore... he looks normal, and just hangs onto the bus bar and gets off at the next stop. He then walks off like nothing's wrong with him....

I hope not,but can spot a prjjk asrholt  from 2 miles now.There are some good people in China.You just have to be more careful

It hasn't made me cold and business-minded, but I try to always keep the phrase, "in Asia, use them, or they will end up using you", in mind. It sounds cunning and sociopathic but you can apply it (very useful advice) while being warm and nice as well. Just watch out for your own interests because the style of friendships they have in Asian cultures (well, SE Asian and Chinese are the ones I've experienced) differ from western ones, they have different layers of motives beyond what's on the surface. It's still possible to have genuine heartfelt friendships, of course. Just make sure you're getting what you want out of it, as you can be sure that they're getting what they want out of it.

I have become cynical and less interested in trusting people...

...but that all happened in Canada.

In  china you can,t trust anyone. Even elderly people are really crap with no feelings trying to get as much as money they can, using all kind of ways. I have also helped some people including elderly ones and later realized many of them are just looking for their own benefit. it really sucks!!!!. Right now I don,t help any chinese!!!

I can see how that can happen. I've certainly become a lot less trusting of random people on the street and of new colleagues and even bosses etc, though that could just be as I'm moving towards my late 20s and am just growing less naive in general.

Crimo, in my experience there are good people here.  But good people get beaten down by life too.  I have known people that are good become users and back stabbers.  Basically you have friends, but in this country perhaps more than others, that circle of friends may need to keep changing.  Things change fast in China and people (including good people) get lost.I do agree to some extent with many of the negative comments about trustworthiness here but that is because living here can make people that way over time.  Actually I've seen similar changes in friends from back home - just watch how a loveless marriage or a ruined career turns someone into Mr Hyde.  Just happens faster here because there's more bad stuff happening and less individual identity to cling to when things are tough.
Edit: And it occurs to me that all of that is relevant to expats too since we can lose our identity when here for too long. Watch yaself Crimo - you seem like one of the nicer people on this forum. Giving up is the easy option.

"THEY ARE FROM ANOTHER PLANET" There like that even back in NZ or anywhere in the world.

I believe there DNA crashed landed with an Asteroid billions of years ago, yeah right!

Used and Abused, one loves it...  We all fall into that trap on "THE PLANET OF THE CHINESE"

Eventually Pilgrime!

avoid that kind of people and don't let them affect you,

take care of yourself and your future, control the type of energy you let into your life.

Diehard made an interesting point about energy.
The people you meet every day have an impact on our energy.
without sounding like a bad cliche or an advert for some New Age stuff, i try to recognise the different energy other people have during the day and try to prevent having it sucked from me.

My instinct is to help people, but i have modified that in china to avoid early burn-out. it is a matter of preserving who i am.

OK, New Age stuff finished