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Q: looking for language exchange

Hello there,

 

i would like to know if anyone is interested in language exchange.

 

I am located in Wuhan and kind of local, happy to help you sort out anything.

5 years 6 days ago in  General  - Wuhan

 
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Posts: 777

Governor

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my experience of 'language exchange'

 

me: "i have just spent 1 hour helping you with your english, can we work on my Chinese?"

chinese person: "i am too busy now. i have to go"

me: ?????

 

happened twice so i have have refused to engage with any chinese person who asks for a 'language exchange' again, despite many saying 'you can trust me'

no, experience has told me that a chinese person saying 'you can trust me' has not any basis in reality because they have done nothing to prove they are trustworthy.

 

i suggest you advertise locally in a place in Wuhan, maybe a coffee shop where English speakers hang out for some sort of lessons.

'language exchange' is rarely that, as the Chinese person usually ends up giving nothing in return and it is all one-way

 

Marcos_Cisneros:

Blondie, talk about pouring cold water on someone ... your answer to the OP's post was far less than charitable to say the least.  The OP asked  a question, rather politely I thought, and you proceeded to trash him with all the modicum of an overbearing white colonialist male.  Frankly, with your kind of attitude, it is no wonder that China has put into place all of these new stringent visa requirements.  This is no longer the nineteenth century, in case you have not noticed, and you are indeed not the Viceroy of India, at best, nor Little Lord Fauntleroy at worst.  Would it truly behoove you to conduct yourself with a certain amount of charity and decorum or again is that impossible for you?  I have read the mini plethora of your other posts, and to a fault, to an absolute fault, they are all negative rants, replete with strident racist overtones and imbued with a Lord Kitchener type of condescension.  Truly, if you are that miserable in China and if you insist upon deprecating the Chinese in the manner in which you do, there is always the Exit Gate at Beijing Airport.  Finally, you are a guest in their country, as we all have been or are, and a certain quotient of politeness would do you no harm.  That being said, it is also a truism that China is overpopulated with arrogant, debasing, drunken, drug-addicted, pompous and otherwise trashy foreigners, the kind that are known in their respective countries as "white trash".

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

LastTargarean:

This is the common experience of a language exchange. I have tried this multiple times with multiple peoples republic of chinese and had the same thing happen. But, if you take Marcos advice, i recommend any airport BUT Beijing.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

Marcos, did Blondie tell the truth? Since yo've offered nothing to the contrary then you believe he told the truth. 

People need to stop being so fucking sensitive to the truth. The truth that Blondie told him can help him improve his chances of finding a language partner (if he's smart enough to figure it out).

Blondie is not the first to say that very thing about language exchanges.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@marcos,

when my free time in China is subject to constant demands by locals to do things for the for free such as free English lessons, with little to no thanks, yes, it makes me tired and angry.

i am not a performing monkey.

 

i would no sooner treat a foreigner in my home country as i am treated here, and expect them to constantly give give give when they want to relax.

 

i would not cheat or try to scam foreigners at home - and they are 'guests' in my home country.

suggesting that someone try to advertise more locally is hardly condescending.

by advertising locally this poster will be able to come to an arrangement happy to both parties.

but my experience of being willing to give help has been abused too often by locals.

do you want me to lie to this poster and suggest everyone has free time to spend giving lessons?

 

also, not a guy, but a very ticked off woman who has been subject to more sexual harassment and Chinese male condescension in the short time i have been in China by locals who think foreign women are nothing but garbage.

 

 

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@Lastargnarean

unfortunately my exit is through Beijing airport - i have experienced it enough to dread it

 

Sorry Marcos - too condescending for you? 

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Marcos_Cisneros:

@EnglishTeachTed.  First of all, I would like to say this to you. A Google search on your moniker turned up all kind of very interesting things about whom you really are. You seem to have made yourself  a goodly amount of real-time enemies in China who in turn have returned your kindness to them, and I say this blithely, by trashing and outing you greatly.  Now that I know with whom I really dealing, I shall refrain from outing you further..  The Internet is a wonderful tool and it allows for ill conceived secrets and miscreant persons to be revealed with just a little work.  Search for yourself about yourself and read the wonders.

 

@Blondie_.  I have no doubt that you have experienced what you claim to have experienced.  It has happened to many and I am sure that it also has happened to many foreigners in your very own country of origin.  The foibles of man are universal.  Nonetheless, my point is very simple -- if you are so demonically depressed, and if you are usually a normally mentally healthy person, then the only cure for your paranoia is to leave. In terms of psychology, it is called removing oneself from the triggering event.  I would encourage you to return to your hamlet in your country of origin, to spend the rest of your days drinking tea and eating crumpets, and listening to the Queen's Christmas speech whilst you are eating Yorkshire pudding and overcooked roast beef.  The solution is a simple one -- return yourself to your heretofore bucolic life with dreams of Scarlett O'Hara and Gone With the Wind.  That might be your best solution.  And venture forth no more.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@marcos

please please please share your experiences as a foreign professional woman working in China.

 

Do tell us of how you dealt with the passive aggressiveness you encountered on a daily basis from your Chinese colleagues.

Their inability to complete even the simplest of tasks properly.

The micro-managing you had to engage in to get basic things done.

How on earth did you deal with management who did everything to undermine your authority because you are a woman?

Share with us the harassment that they try to dismiss as 'cultural differences' - I can see how foolish i was wanting to wear light summer clothes (a high cut neck line dress, sleeves and a below the knee skirt) and not expect creepy managers to try 'up-skirting' me.

How did you cope with this? I have felt obliged to wear trousers and conservative blouses, yet am still subject to creepy colleagues trying to photo me secretly.

Were you able to wear summer dresses in the heat, dresses that were more modest that what the local women here wear?

how did you deal with your male colleagues who stared at your all the time in a creepy way, or tried to rub against you and pretend it was an 'accident'? (believe me, they get an ear-full from me if they try that)

or did your time as a professional woman in China mean you enjoyed all the unwanted (sexual) attention?

 

how did your chinese colleagues deal with your culturally sensitively worded concerns? did they ignore you?

 

and why do i have to be all 'sensitive' here on this forum?

 

Depressed?

British?

where did you get these from?

neither are correct if you bother to read my comments.

but i suppose it is easier to make assumptions that match your ideas of what women should accept as professional behaviour from colleagues in China.

i just laugh at the BS i have to tolerate here in China on a daily basis because it leads to such inefficiencies and waste of money - lots of money.

thankfully it won't be my problem for much longer, or that of my company at home, as my regular reports, and those of my predecessor have helped them reach a decision regarding working with a partner here - it is more trouble than it is worth.

 

i am only sorry to be leaving those Chinese people who i think of as friends, genuine friendly people who did not try to use me or benefit in some way from knowing me,

People who are few a far between in China, yet against all odds manage to exist.

 

rant over - cold watermelon drink awaits. 

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

LastTargarean:

Ha! What a useless troll. All this Marco does is dump on other, usually legit users. Your English may be passable but people can still see the propagandization.

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Gogojuice:

I am sorry that you guys had bad experiences before, and it is interesting to know what you guys really think, i mean in a good way...

 

i do find foreigners sometimes are less interested in talking to a Chinese person, they would rather just hang out with their friends. i guess this probably because they are simply cannot be bothered.

 

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

Man up Marco and out me further. And you should know where I am, how about a visit

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

ambivalentmace:

the only way to do language exchange is use a clock with 20 minutes english, 20 minutes chinese and keep swapping, each picks an article in a chinese newspaper or english newspaper and discuss the words. never give an hour first, always excuses and no chinese, mother died, sick, late, etc.

5 years 1 day ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

ambivalentmace:

I tried alternating the english/chinese is shorter time periods, or tried to (politely) ask for the chinese 'lesson' to begin first, but there was always a 'reason/excuse' not to proceed with the chinese part of the exchange.

 

maybe i was just unfortunate in the people i encountered.

 

 

5 years 1 day ago
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5 years 5 days ago
 
Answers (9)
Comments (39)
Posts: 777

Governor

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9
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4

my experience of 'language exchange'

 

me: "i have just spent 1 hour helping you with your english, can we work on my Chinese?"

chinese person: "i am too busy now. i have to go"

me: ?????

 

happened twice so i have have refused to engage with any chinese person who asks for a 'language exchange' again, despite many saying 'you can trust me'

no, experience has told me that a chinese person saying 'you can trust me' has not any basis in reality because they have done nothing to prove they are trustworthy.

 

i suggest you advertise locally in a place in Wuhan, maybe a coffee shop where English speakers hang out for some sort of lessons.

'language exchange' is rarely that, as the Chinese person usually ends up giving nothing in return and it is all one-way

 

Marcos_Cisneros:

Blondie, talk about pouring cold water on someone ... your answer to the OP's post was far less than charitable to say the least.  The OP asked  a question, rather politely I thought, and you proceeded to trash him with all the modicum of an overbearing white colonialist male.  Frankly, with your kind of attitude, it is no wonder that China has put into place all of these new stringent visa requirements.  This is no longer the nineteenth century, in case you have not noticed, and you are indeed not the Viceroy of India, at best, nor Little Lord Fauntleroy at worst.  Would it truly behoove you to conduct yourself with a certain amount of charity and decorum or again is that impossible for you?  I have read the mini plethora of your other posts, and to a fault, to an absolute fault, they are all negative rants, replete with strident racist overtones and imbued with a Lord Kitchener type of condescension.  Truly, if you are that miserable in China and if you insist upon deprecating the Chinese in the manner in which you do, there is always the Exit Gate at Beijing Airport.  Finally, you are a guest in their country, as we all have been or are, and a certain quotient of politeness would do you no harm.  That being said, it is also a truism that China is overpopulated with arrogant, debasing, drunken, drug-addicted, pompous and otherwise trashy foreigners, the kind that are known in their respective countries as "white trash".

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

LastTargarean:

This is the common experience of a language exchange. I have tried this multiple times with multiple peoples republic of chinese and had the same thing happen. But, if you take Marcos advice, i recommend any airport BUT Beijing.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

Marcos, did Blondie tell the truth? Since yo've offered nothing to the contrary then you believe he told the truth. 

People need to stop being so fucking sensitive to the truth. The truth that Blondie told him can help him improve his chances of finding a language partner (if he's smart enough to figure it out).

Blondie is not the first to say that very thing about language exchanges.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@marcos,

when my free time in China is subject to constant demands by locals to do things for the for free such as free English lessons, with little to no thanks, yes, it makes me tired and angry.

i am not a performing monkey.

 

i would no sooner treat a foreigner in my home country as i am treated here, and expect them to constantly give give give when they want to relax.

 

i would not cheat or try to scam foreigners at home - and they are 'guests' in my home country.

suggesting that someone try to advertise more locally is hardly condescending.

by advertising locally this poster will be able to come to an arrangement happy to both parties.

but my experience of being willing to give help has been abused too often by locals.

do you want me to lie to this poster and suggest everyone has free time to spend giving lessons?

 

also, not a guy, but a very ticked off woman who has been subject to more sexual harassment and Chinese male condescension in the short time i have been in China by locals who think foreign women are nothing but garbage.

 

 

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@Lastargnarean

unfortunately my exit is through Beijing airport - i have experienced it enough to dread it

 

Sorry Marcos - too condescending for you? 

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Marcos_Cisneros:

@EnglishTeachTed.  First of all, I would like to say this to you. A Google search on your moniker turned up all kind of very interesting things about whom you really are. You seem to have made yourself  a goodly amount of real-time enemies in China who in turn have returned your kindness to them, and I say this blithely, by trashing and outing you greatly.  Now that I know with whom I really dealing, I shall refrain from outing you further..  The Internet is a wonderful tool and it allows for ill conceived secrets and miscreant persons to be revealed with just a little work.  Search for yourself about yourself and read the wonders.

 

@Blondie_.  I have no doubt that you have experienced what you claim to have experienced.  It has happened to many and I am sure that it also has happened to many foreigners in your very own country of origin.  The foibles of man are universal.  Nonetheless, my point is very simple -- if you are so demonically depressed, and if you are usually a normally mentally healthy person, then the only cure for your paranoia is to leave. In terms of psychology, it is called removing oneself from the triggering event.  I would encourage you to return to your hamlet in your country of origin, to spend the rest of your days drinking tea and eating crumpets, and listening to the Queen's Christmas speech whilst you are eating Yorkshire pudding and overcooked roast beef.  The solution is a simple one -- return yourself to your heretofore bucolic life with dreams of Scarlett O'Hara and Gone With the Wind.  That might be your best solution.  And venture forth no more.

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@marcos

please please please share your experiences as a foreign professional woman working in China.

 

Do tell us of how you dealt with the passive aggressiveness you encountered on a daily basis from your Chinese colleagues.

Their inability to complete even the simplest of tasks properly.

The micro-managing you had to engage in to get basic things done.

How on earth did you deal with management who did everything to undermine your authority because you are a woman?

Share with us the harassment that they try to dismiss as 'cultural differences' - I can see how foolish i was wanting to wear light summer clothes (a high cut neck line dress, sleeves and a below the knee skirt) and not expect creepy managers to try 'up-skirting' me.

How did you cope with this? I have felt obliged to wear trousers and conservative blouses, yet am still subject to creepy colleagues trying to photo me secretly.

Were you able to wear summer dresses in the heat, dresses that were more modest that what the local women here wear?

how did you deal with your male colleagues who stared at your all the time in a creepy way, or tried to rub against you and pretend it was an 'accident'? (believe me, they get an ear-full from me if they try that)

or did your time as a professional woman in China mean you enjoyed all the unwanted (sexual) attention?

 

how did your chinese colleagues deal with your culturally sensitively worded concerns? did they ignore you?

 

and why do i have to be all 'sensitive' here on this forum?

 

Depressed?

British?

where did you get these from?

neither are correct if you bother to read my comments.

but i suppose it is easier to make assumptions that match your ideas of what women should accept as professional behaviour from colleagues in China.

i just laugh at the BS i have to tolerate here in China on a daily basis because it leads to such inefficiencies and waste of money - lots of money.

thankfully it won't be my problem for much longer, or that of my company at home, as my regular reports, and those of my predecessor have helped them reach a decision regarding working with a partner here - it is more trouble than it is worth.

 

i am only sorry to be leaving those Chinese people who i think of as friends, genuine friendly people who did not try to use me or benefit in some way from knowing me,

People who are few a far between in China, yet against all odds manage to exist.

 

rant over - cold watermelon drink awaits. 

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

LastTargarean:

Ha! What a useless troll. All this Marco does is dump on other, usually legit users. Your English may be passable but people can still see the propagandization.

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Gogojuice:

I am sorry that you guys had bad experiences before, and it is interesting to know what you guys really think, i mean in a good way...

 

i do find foreigners sometimes are less interested in talking to a Chinese person, they would rather just hang out with their friends. i guess this probably because they are simply cannot be bothered.

 

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

Englteachted:

Man up Marco and out me further. And you should know where I am, how about a visit

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

ambivalentmace:

the only way to do language exchange is use a clock with 20 minutes english, 20 minutes chinese and keep swapping, each picks an article in a chinese newspaper or english newspaper and discuss the words. never give an hour first, always excuses and no chinese, mother died, sick, late, etc.

5 years 1 day ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

ambivalentmace:

I tried alternating the english/chinese is shorter time periods, or tried to (politely) ask for the chinese 'lesson' to begin first, but there was always a 'reason/excuse' not to proceed with the chinese part of the exchange.

 

maybe i was just unfortunate in the people i encountered.

 

 

5 years 1 day ago
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5 years 5 days ago
 
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Stop being cheap and pay 150 hourly or find a couple of Chinese friends who also want to learn English and split the cost

Gogojuice:

to be fair I am just happy to give a hand,  because i used to be a student studying abroad, and well, im still a student. i know what it is like to feel useless at some point. if someone could help in any way, it would make much impact internally i believe, personally in return i guess I dont get my english rusty before i leave for school again

5 years 3 days ago
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5 years 5 days ago
 
Posts: 25

General

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I have had both good an bad experiences with language exchange. Most of the good ones were with people with whom I was already friends I will say that. Often times I would experience something similar to what Blondi_ said.

 

However, through persistence and refusal to let people use me as a language teacher, I found people who were great language partners and we mutually benefited. 

 

I am nowhere close to Wuhan, or I'd help you out. But I'd say your best bet would be to go to a university there and try to A) NATURALLY make friends with some foreigners or B) put an add up saying you're searching for a language partner (in English and Chinese).

 

If you want a language partner, make sure its a partnership and not a one way street that's all I have to say.

 

good luck with the search!

Marcos_Cisneros:

Now here is a polite and well reasoned answer unlike the venom spewed forth by EnglishTeachTed aka the Infamous and Blondie_ aka the Clinically Depressed.

 

Thank you Trunch for taking the time to be polite and share your insights.  We could use a million more like you around here.

 

 

5 years 5 days ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@ Marcos

yawn 

i defer to your superior experience of working as a foreign professional woman in China to know how i am feeling.

 

maybe you have never met a person really suffering from depression - i don't know if you have, but i have (a close family member).

or could it be i have become less tolerant of being BS'ed the whole time in China.

 

so Marcos, how did you cope as a foreign professional woman in China?

did you do all your venting during your work hours or save it for occasional posts online?

 

cheers 

 

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Marcos_Cisneros:

@Blondie_.  Re your comments.

 

First of all, you are in their country, so to speak.  It is not incumbent upon them to conform themselves to your mode of behaviour, hardly it is, but rather for you to determine and possess the strength of character to manage to deal with all the peculiarities of life in China. 

Please do not tell me that you expected to find the Middle Kingdom to be a Chinese version of Gloria Steinem's desires and dreams.  There is the old adage about when in Rome, do as the Romans.  It is one thing to create problems and it is indeed another to attempt to resolve them.  

Firstly, ignore what you can ignore.  Just ignore it.  What you cannot ignore, as I said previously, either extricate yourself from the situation or find a way to deal with it.

The Chinese are all about face --  you should know that.  Shame, speeches, rants, quotations from the great masters of Western thinking mean nothing to them.  Nothing. They are genetically programmed to be unbearable at times.

On the other hand, if they have trashed you, shamed you, demeaned you, just find a way to take their face.  Publicly.  And repeatedly. It will not win you friends, but neither will their boorish behaviour win your friendship to them.  So be clever and plotting and Byzantine and determine how to take their respective face when you are being trashed.  There are 10,000 ways to shred face and once you have done it, they will loathe you but they will do it silently and schemingly. And always remember that you will need to take face several times until they settle down.  And when you have taken enough of their face, they will settle down.

 

Otherwise, from this post and your other posts, you decidedly appear to be in the throes of stage four of culture shock.  And I have since reread your posts and believe you to be a North American.  And if ever, at least for the rest of the world, there is no nation at present more greatly redneck and sanctimonious and culturally oblivious than the Yanks. So while the Chinese may be socially maladroit, at least to you, your fellow Yanks are outrageously dangerous with a Hitler in the White House.

 

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Stiggs:

Marcos, it's rare to see you posting, usually you're just lurking here down voting people.....

5 years 4 days ago
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Blondie_:

Patronising much Marcos? now i am American?

how did that happen? 

5 years 4 days ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

@Stiggs, Stiggs, you shouldn't write things that you cannot prove.  And I do not lurk here.  I come to read the posts because of the three China boards to which I belong, this one is the most bottom-feeder, most crude, most fascist, most primitive and I just need to remind myself what the gutter feeders are like.

 

And unlike nearly all of you, with Phil Bravery being the exception, I enter with my real name and do not need to hide behind malevolent monikers, such as you do, and such as Englteachted and others do, to pontificate, abuse and  reek verbal havoc. Personally I find it cheap and bullying to hide behind a moniker to abuse total strangers.  For me, it indicates a demented mind.

It is one of the reasons that I find Facebook and Instagram and Twitter so refreshing ... they have come NOT to allow false personalities and when one does create a false personality these days, it is rapidly banned.  But this site, however, is stuck at the bottom of some toilet in a redneck bar, full of overweight white males spewing forth Fascism, racism and colonial attitudes. It does the site a certain charm and odor, just like vomit that is two days old.

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Marcos_Cisneros:

@Blondie_  It is irrelevant to me from whence you come.  For your own peace and sanity of mind, it is decidedly better for you to return to that from when you came, on the first available flight out now.  You are not suited for China.

5 years 4 days ago
Report Abuse

Stiggs:

Yeah Marcos, you lurk. I know this because I lurk too.  I see you pop up, often it will only be you there online, and then watch everyone get down voted.

 

That's ok though, it's healthy for you to release your anger and frustration with life,which often shows itself in your posts. If down voting people makes you feel better you go for it buddy

 

Release the rage Marcos.... release the rage

5 years 4 days ago
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Marcos_Cisneros:

@Stiggs, as I said, Stiggs, I do not lurk.  I just come to read what the bottom feeders on this site write.  And you need not taunt, it is really so  lower class of you, something a street cleaner would do.  Need a broom?

 

5 years 4 days ago
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Stiggs:

Ok then......

5 years 4 days ago
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5 years 5 days ago
 
Posts: 5330

Emperor

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Gogojuice, good luck with your search, I hope you find someone to help you with your English.

 

The thing is though, language exchanges are never very popular with foreigners - they just don't seem to work.

 

But, have a look through this website here... there are a few posts about language exchanges.

 

wuhanexpat.com

 

You might find something useful, or better, social activities where you can meet foreign friends and practice English

Gogojuice:

Thank you! 

5 years 3 days ago
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5 years 4 days ago
 
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I hereby officially volunteer for Language Exchange duty.*
*provided you are living and of the female persuasion

Today's topic: The Pros and Cons of Threesome when she is gf's bff

Stiggs:

Wh...wh...what?

 

5 years 4 days ago
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diverdude1:

Thank Jackson for that scene,,, damn,, he was totally fkn w/ Brad !

 

"What ain't no country I ever heard of !!!  They speak English in what??"

 

yeah,,, topic cracks me up,,, haha,,, tell gf,, well, if u liked me as much as u say u do , then u would want me to be happy,,,, 

5 years 4 days ago
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Gogojuice:

sorry i dont think i follow??

5 years 3 days ago
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diverdude1:

Yeah gogo,,, it'll be a while before you will be able to follow our kinda conversations that are full of obscure references,,, and we text in a clipped fashion,,,, don't worry about it,,, this is kinda like Native speaker type stuff.

good luck with your studies.  (:

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

Stiggs:

We're quoting from a classic movie Gogo, if you haven't seen it none of this will make sense.

 

On a side note, who else finds it awesome that anytime someone drops a line from Pulp Fiction people who have seen the movie carry on the Pulp conversation. Not just here on ECC, pretty much anywhere.

5 years 3 days ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

yeah, all these years later and I still get a kick out of remembering scenes from Pulp.  I know I can't remember verbatim, but close enough anyway.   I read that ol' Tarantino is a dickhead, but he sure throws down some rockin' dialogue!

 

one of my faves is -

 

MarsellusI'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger hiding in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.

 

 

Of course nothing's gonna beat Jules fkn w/ Brad,,,, lmao! 'That that Hawaiian burger joint? That's a mighty tasty burger! Mind if I have a sip of your tasty beverage to wash this down?'

5 years 3 days ago
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Stiggs:

haha yeah Jules and Brad is classic....   

 

Bring out the gimp.

The gimp's sleeping..

Well I guess you better go wake him up.

 

That hillbilly buggering stuff was just downright weird, I always wondered how that came to be in the movie.

5 years 3 days ago
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Gogojuice exchange

Gogojuice:

hahah you get me

5 years 3 days ago
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A few guys are asking this question on this site. Go to a school. If you want sex, there are lots of "Amoi" places for only a 100 rmb.

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5 years 3 days ago
 
Posts: 7203

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I am with Blondie on this.

 

In my limited experience, when a woman asks for language exchange, it pretty much means her parents have invested in her, they want payback, and they tell her to get out there and get a foreign husband.

 

Blondie is 100% correct.

 

 

 

 

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5 years 3 days ago
 
Posts: 777

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to the OP, 

you say you were a student abroad.

when you were abroad and you just wanted to relax with your friends, speaking Chinese, maybe after a long day studying/working, how would you have felt if some stranger was trying to join your activity for their benefit, regardless of what you wanted to do.

once or twice might be fine, on occasion, but when it is every time you are out for the evening and locals don't leave you alone, you can understand why it becomes irritating.

so people get tired of having to do what local want them to do all the time 

 

Rhetorical question - is the free time of foreigners of so little value that it is ok for Chinese people to insist they stop what they are doing for your benefit and wants?

 

Foreigners for the most part are not unfriendly, but we also need our free time to relax and unwind, without being expected to perform and jump through hoops at the whim of a random passing local.

 

if you really want to practice your english, find a sport that both you and foreigners can take part in.

where i am there are foreigner/Chinese amateur football leagues (and other sports leagues) where people can socialize and exercise together without feeling like the main purpose is for the Chinese to learn/practice their english.

bottom line - people don't like being used, especially in their free time.

 

i am sure you will find what you are looking for, but remember that you are asking people for a favour, and they may not always be happy to abandon what they are doing (it could be something more important to them) just because you want them to.

Blondie_:

lol Marcos

it only took you 7 minutes to give me a down-thumb. Should i be scared that you will search for me and follow me online, because that's not a creepy thing to do, right?  

 

what a winner !!!

5 years 1 day ago
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iWolf:

Nice one Blondie. A well balanced comment. Have a thumb from the wolf. And i agree, it's not creepy at all that a self-professed internet stalker is sniffing around the digital bushes trying to peek in your window while he beats the bishop.

5 years 1 day ago
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Blondie_:

@iWolf, 

apparently i am a depressed racist redneck from America/Britain who should take all the BS/harassment i encounter with a smile on my face 'because i am a guest in China'

 

5 years 1 day ago
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PulSartre:

Blondie, on of the upvotes is mine too. BTW. I am sorry for you going through so much harassment in China. Reading through your answers on this topic, I felt at times rage and disgust. I can't but be angry at the behavior of those people around you. I will come later with a rather better comment. Probably quite late, but just don't lose heart at all. If you eventually return home, you will gather all good sides of this experience, and the trash will be at its right spot. I know it, because I lived and worked in China. I know I end up keeping the good about people. I wish you remember the best of your life in China. 

5 years 22 hours ago
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Blondie_:

@PulSartre

I was well advised by my predecessor on what to expect, and thankfully i have a well developed sense of humour to laugh at the daily absurdities/stupidity here. (but not to their faces)

in a work-place that wants to be seen as modern and embracing 'global' attitudes and be accepted and a good place to work, it is stuck firmly in a 19th century power and attitude dynamic.

 

most of the Chinese women here equally dislike the casual sexism and misogyny that is evident on a daily basis, but are afraid to speak out for fear of harming their futures (both career and matrimonial).

for me, no amount of hinting or diplomatic responses made a difference, to i am not afraid at this stage to cut through the false BSing of 'keeping face' and call a spade a spade.

I don't care about calling these things out, as I want to be able to do my job properly.

 

it just really ticks me off at the level of childishness and head-in-the sand attitude of grown adults who seem to think that possessing a smart phone and expensive clothes is all it takes to be successful human being.

But i am not going to change the ingrained attitude of a country - if i can make one Chinese person reflect on how they treat their colleagues, i will have been successful in making a change.

 

'When in Rome.......' ? not if it is an obviously wrong way to treat other people.

 

wink

5 years 19 hours ago
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Gogojuice:

chill man, i am sorry for whatever bad feelings you had in china

 

i disagree some assumptions that you made. can you not put people into one category,.

for sure there are people out there that have done things like you said in the process of language exchange. would that mean everyone looking for language exchange is the same?

 

plus the whole language thing is based on mutual interest. where is your idea of me asking for a favor coming from

5 years 11 hours ago
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Blondie_:

on the contrary gogojuice, i suggest you read all of my comment before attributing negative feelings to me about my experiences in China.

 

i find many people are easily offended here if i don't suddenly give ecstatic opinions about china.

 

and yes, you are asking for a favour - you want foreigners to help you with your english indecision

4 years 51 weeks ago
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5 years 1 day ago
 
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A: Teaching English in China Requirements for 2022 (chinabyteaching.com)&
A:Teaching English in China Requirements for 2022 (chinabyteaching.com) This link will answer your visa questions. There is NOT a requirement for two years experience to be a teacher in China.  If you come with your husband under a different visa, make sure you have all the required documentation to get a Z visa when you find a job in China. It will make your life much easier.  To work in China, you MUST have a Z visa and only a Z visa.  -- nashboroguy